twenty-six: in which she almost thinks she's dreaming

"Don't look ahead, there's stormy weather" –Santigold, Disparate Youth

********************************

I hadn't realized that I'd gone back to sleep but when I woke up again, it was because of the mind-numbing pain in my right shoulder. The painkillers had obviously worn off and I scrambled to get another dose off my nightstand.

Once more, I disentangled myself from Jake, who had passed out way before I had. His nose was still stained red but he didn't feel as hot when I pressed my hand to his forehead, so there was that.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and rolled my shoulder around experimentally, gulping down a glass of water when I was done. My phone showed that it was almost eleven and that I had a dozen missed calls. I switched it off.

A soft knock resounded at my door and then Iris was peeking in. "Hey, are you OK? There's a kid in our living room for you."

"Yeah. That's Daisy. She's hanging out with me today." I let out a loud yawn. "I'll be right out."

Iris frowned. "You sure you're up for that?"

"We'll probably just sit down and watch Pretty Little Liars or something."

"Um, she doesn't look like a PLL kinda girl, M." Shaking her head, she closed the door softly.

I glanced down at Jake, swiping his hair out of his face. "Babe, Daisy's here," I whispered, leaning down and kissing his forehead. "I'm in the living room. You can stay in bed."

He made a sound in his throat, his lips twitching as if he was dreaming about something that made him happy. "'K. Love you."

I frowned. "Love who?" I didn't get a response, so I poked his shoulder and repeated my question.

"Silver Eyes. Very fuсking much."

"Huh. Do you think she loves you?"

His brows drew together, eyes still firmly shut. "No."

"Why not?"

"Done things. Bad things."

"She knows. Yet she still loves you. Everyone she loves ends up dying, though, so she's a little scared to jinx this by telling you. She's always praying that you don't get yourself killed."

The corners of Jake's mouth tilted upwards. "Not dying. Love her too much."

"Good. Now sleep, and feel better, so she can kiss you senseless when you wake up."

The sound that escaped his lips right then could only be described as a sigh. It was pretty freaking empowering to be able to make a grown man sigh in his sleep.

***

Iris was right: Daisy was not a PLL kind of girl.

She sat at the end of one couch, arms folded across her chest, and glared at me as I sat on the opposite end of the couch. She'd merely looked at me when I'd said hello, and had totally ignored Iris when she'd said her goodbyes.

"What's up with this one?" Iris had whispered to me at the front door.

"She's thirteen."

"That explains it."

"Plus, she ran off to Mexico with a boy and her big brother, the President of the Phantoms, went after her and beat the crap out of said boy."

"Can't say that ever happened to me when I hit puberty. Then again, my dad kept me locked up like Rapunzel," Iris had quipped. "Good luck, woman. Oh, and take it easy, will ya?"

That had been half an hour ago.

I was still completely stunned that this moody brat sitting beside me was the same bright, giggly girl I'd met a month ago. A month ago, on her birthday, she'd been wearing a baby-blue sundress and flip-flops and she'd pointed out that her toenails were painted Just Peachy. Her ringtone had been Ariana Grande's Break Free, because it made her smile. My God, her hair had been in braids.

Who the heck was this girl with the heavy make-up and ripped black jeans?

When I'd finally had enough of her evil, eyeliner-rimmed blue-eyed stare, I turned the TV off and pulled my feet under me, leaning against the armrest with a low groan. "So, obviously, you don't want to be here," I muttered, wishing that I'd kept my big trap shut and let Ghost punish someone else with his sister's presence.

"Ya think?" Daisy countered, with a flip of her long, pin-straight blonde hair. "I'm thirteen. I don't need a babysitter, especially a lame like you."

"Let's get one thing straight, Miss Daisy," I said, narrowing my eyes at her. "Whatever teenage woe-is-me angst you think you have, you leave that nonsense at the door. You don't get to walk into my place and disrespect me, OK?"

The scowl left Daisy's face and a slow smile took its place. "Have you ever bumped uglies with my brother? Is that why he dumped me here?"

"Bumped what?"

"Done it with him. Have you ever done it with Marlon? You know, the nasty?"

"What kind of question is that? No, no – don't answer that." I held my hands up in protest, taking a deep breath. "I'm guessing you want to shock me enough so that I call Ghost and get him to take you back. You probably have ways of slipping out the clubhouse, don't you?"

"Doesn't look like it takes much to shock you."

"You'd be surprised. I don't shock easy these days."

She glared at me. "So where's your boyfriend?"

"His whereabouts are none of your concern, young lady."

She snorted. "They're not yours, either, are they? Do you know what he did to my friend? Beat him so bad, I don't even know if he's alive. That's real tough of him, laying into a kid like that."

I swallowed hard. "Your friend crossed a border with you, an underage girl. Your brother was only worried about you, as was Jacob."

"Worried about me?" she exclaimed. "No. He feels guilty that he didn't rescue me from my useless mother sooner. He doesn't give a crap about me. But Vince? He cared about me. And then your boyfriend and my so-called brother nearly killed him."

"Daisy...""It wasn't like we were doing anything together. I told Vince I was seventeen only because I didn't want to freak him out." She hugged herself. "Besides, I'm saving myself for Keegan. I've got it all planned out."

I couldn't believe that this was a girl who'd barely hit puberty. "Who's Keegan?"

Daisy let out a sigh of exasperation, as if that were a dumb question. "Sticks. I refuse to call him such a stupid name."

"You're going to marry Sticks?"

"Yeah. As soon as I turn eighteen. Twenty-one, if it bothers him some. There's a decade between us, so that's OK. Older boys are way better than boys my age."

"What does, um, Keegan have to say about that?"

"Oh, he doesn't know yet. But he will. Once I'm eighteen." She gave me a genuine smile, the first of that day. "So you see, I wasn't gonna do anything with Vince. We don't like each other like that. He has a girlfriend, anyway."

"What were you doing with him, then? I mean, Mexico, Daisy. You can't just run off like that. Not when there are people that care about you."

She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Vince has friends there. I only wanted to have a little fun without my brother breathing down my back, pretending to be my father, you know?"

I didn't.

"He loves you, Daisy."

"I know. I love him, too. I think." She sighed, resigned to her fate. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I sounded hesitant.

"How do you love someone who's killed people?" Daisy's face was earnest, and I felt my heart soften to her once again.

"You mean, like your brother?" I asked, slowly.

"Yeah. And like your boyfriend."

Suddenly, I felt heavy-eyed, like I could pass out any moment. I missed my bed. "We can't choose who we love. I didn't," I whispered. "We all do terrible things."

"But I don't murder people, Maya. I spread rumors about other girls and cheat in math tests, but I don't kill people," Daisy hissed. "My brother...isn't a good person. People are afraid of him and sometimes...sometimes, I am, too." She chewed her bottom lip. "I thought they were gonna kill Vince., I really did."

Without thinking, I scooted across the couch, closing the space between us and wrapping my arms around Daisy. She was stiff for only a second before she hugged me back, burying her nose in my neck. Sometimes, words are just ineffective. Sometimes, there just aren't any words.

"Do you want to help me make pizza for lunch?"

I heard a laugh slip out Daisy's mouth. "Pizza? Really?"

I pulled away from her. "Yeah. You'll have to do most of the work, though. I'm still a little weak from surgery."

Her eyes widened. "You had surgery? What kind?"

"Never mind about that. I bet you're starving. Do they feed you at that clubhouse?"

Daisy ended up being terrible in the kitchen but at least she was a quick learner. Plus, the girl could talk. She talked about all kinds of things while we put our toppings on the pastry – the girls at school, how the clubhouse was incredibly boring, how she still hadn't gotten her period...

"You don't have to be worried, Daisy. It'll come in due time," I told her.

"Oh, I'm not worried. At Mass last week, I actually thanked God about it. Blood freaks me out."

"You're Catholic?"

"Yes," she said with a grin. "When my mom's father was still alive, he used to take me. Now when I go, a Phantom has to escort me. I don't like that part, but hey, at least my brother lets me go."

"That's awesome."

While we sat at the kitchen island waiting for the pizza to be done, she fired all kinds of questions at me. It was the strangest, most invasive line of questioning I'd ever been subjected to. I was overjoyed when the timer eventually dinged, signaling that our pizzas were ready.

"You have to try mine, Maya," Daisy begged, allowing me to cut it into eight perfect slices with the pizza cutter. I decided to leave them on the tray.

"Bacon and banana? I don't think so."

"But it's so good!"

"Maybe just one slice," I conceded, "once it cools."

"Wimp." She stuck her tongue out at me before taking a huge bite out of her pizza.

"I know I am." I gripped the edge of the countertop, taking a deep breath. My stomach churned, only for a second.

"Maya? Are you OK?"

"Yes. Just not...hungry."

"Maybe you should go lie down."

I snorted. "Right. And let you sneak out?"

"I wouldn't do that!"

"I'll take over," Jake's sleep-roughened voice came from behind me.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. You're up."

"Captain Obvious," Daisy murmured, ignoring my answering glower and shooting one at Jake. "Maya, you cannot leave me with him. I hate him!"

"Daisy, he –"

"Don't defend me, sweetheart. Just get into bed." He turned me around, his hazel eyes searching mine. He kind of looked a little better than he had two hours ago, wearing his clothes from the previous night. "Don't argue."

"I wasn't going to," I whispered.

"Thought you were gonna kiss me senseless," he said, leaning down and putting his forehead to mine. "Or did you forget?"

"You heard that?"

"Every word, baby."His mouth moved to the corner mine before he kissed me properly. My eyes fell shut before I kissed him back, pulling at his shirt.

"Ugh. Can you not do that in front of me, please?" Daisy complained, reminding us of her belligerent presence.I dragged my lips from Jake's.

"I made pepperoni. Knock yourself out, big guy."

He laughed. "Woman, you're a fuсking goddess."

"You guys need a swear jar," Daisy mumbled.

"I know, girl. I know," I told her. I leveled her with a look before my eyes went to Jake. "Please don't kill each other. I don't think I have the energy to bleach the whole place when you're done."

He sent me a lazy wink. "You fucking drugged me. I don't have it in me to be violent today."

"You drugged yourself, buddy. At least you seem better. Just be good." I looked at Daisy. "Ghost texted me that he's only swinging by in the evening, so please find something to occupy yourself with after lunch."

Daisy only shrugged as if it didn't concern her, going for another slice of her pizza.

"I'm stuck with her until nightfall?" Jake looked stricken.

"Hey, I'm right here, you giant ape."

"What did you just say to me?"

"Sorry. Forgot you only understand grunts and roars."

Jesus, I thought, deciding that I was better off backing out of the kitchen while these two bickered like children, this is going to be a long day.

Trying to settle into bed was another story. I ended up going for more painkillers because my head had decided to join the let's-throb-with-pain party. Beneath the covers, I felt something vibrate. Scrabbling for it with my hands, I came up with Jake's phone. My brow furrowed.

What is Sebastian doing calling Jake? I thought to myself, because there could only be one Computer Boy in Jake's phone book. A Computer Boy who, surprisingly, was still alive.

I answered the call before I could second-guess myself.

"I did it." Sebastian's voice filled my ear, as soft as ever. "I did it, and I hope to God you don't get me killed. The McNallys... They're...they're crazy. You'll still protect me, right? Right? Jacob?