11 Chapter Eleven: To Be or Not To Be

Lelouch had been offered a private suite aboard his mother's vessel, the Olympus. And upon hearing the truth he locked himself in. He clutched his head between his hands. He had no idea what to think about all of this.

An ancient civilization based around the Geass, his father and mother connected to Geass, and this prophecy which he seemed to fit perfectly.

To see all those men in robes, the legendary Sir Bismark, and even his own mother, get to their knees chanting his name as if he were some Living God, it was too much to bare.

His fight, which until then had been about avenging his father, destroying his uncle, and restoring his family, was no so complicated. Suddenly he was practically at the center of a shadowy religion prepared to go on the madness of a holy war in his name. All of it was too much for him.

"I'm not a god," said Lelouch. "Mother, father, I'm not some kind of messiah. I...I don't know what I am. I thought I was just fighting for vengeance. I was...I was using the Japanese for that end, claiming to fight for their freedom. I'm a liar."

Lelouch, the exhaustion of his use of Geass from earlier, as well as the stress of the day, were all catching up to him. He laid back in the bed and his final thoughts were of the man who had originally sought to teach him the rules of a king.

"Father...I don't know what to do," Lelouch said before falling asleep.

In his dreams Lelouch was a little boy again. He was sitting in the gardens of his mother's villa. He then noticed the tree he would often like to sit under and read and how it was occupied.

Walking towards it nervously Lelouch gasped in surprise at the figure who sat sharpening a large sword with a whetstone. It was his father, Emperor Charles.

"Father," Lelouch cried, running up to his father and burying his head in his father's lion mane cloak.

Charles merely chuckled and placed a large hand on his troubled son's shoulders.

"Have you forgotten me so much Lelouch that you are so surprised to see me?" asked Charles.

"No...father," said Lelouch.

"Then why do you allow tears to fall from your confusion?" asked Charles, meeting his son's eyes. "What has changed about your cause my son that you need be confused? Do you not still seek to avenge my death?"

"No...I...I hate uncle for what he did," cried Lelouch.

"And do you not wish for your mother and Nunnally to live a happy life?" asked Charles.

"No...I still want that but..."

"Nothing has changed Lelouch," said Charles, sternly. "I still lie dead, your mother and Nunnally banished, and Britannia under the boot of your uncle Vincent."

"But father...the Geass...it..."

"The Order makes Geass a thing to be coveted and worshiped but it is merely a source of power," said Charles. "A tool to meet your ends. As it was for mine."

"But father...I don't want to be this Black King," said Lelouch.

"Only a fool willingly seeks the heavy weight of a crown," said Charles. "The truest king is the one who does not want the crown but takes it anyway. Peace is a gift we may offer others but often we who bare the crown are denied such a commodity. We sacrifice much, including our happiness. But we take this upon ourselves because we are created mightier than the common man and thus a great duty is owed to that might to ensure that our civilization is upheld. That is the duty of the king. And you are a king Lelouch and you must take your rightful throne. You may not wish it, you may seek to deny it, but by fate and by your own actions."

Charles placed his hands on Lelouch's shoulders and looked his son dead in the eye.

"When I left the Order, I took with me the idea of the civilization that once Geass had built," said Charles. "But the flaw of the Order is that they believed that the great power of Geass alone is enough to bring unity and peace to humanity. I believed that great ideals for a society to triumph over its evils and bring the hope of peace to the world. As such I turned by back on the power of Geass and as well my brother Vincent."

Suzaku was worried for his friend. He knew that although he was raised royalty all Lelouch wanted was to live a peaceful life with his family. Now it appeared that such a thing would never be allowed to him.

Not with the Geass Order decreeing him their Black King.

"Lady Marianne, is there no way for Lelouch to deny this...Black King business?" asked Cornelia.

She, Euphemia, Suzaku, and Kallen sat in a private tea room Marianne invited them to. Apparently she had easily caught onto Kallen and Lelouch's feelings for one another and knew of his and Lelouch's friendship and thus invited them in along with Lelouch's sisters.

"I tried to save my poor son from this fate," said Marianne. "C.C's capture by Clovis, Lelouch landing in that truck, all beyond anyone's control. Fate it seems has played my child to become the messiah of the Geass Order. I can only hope that he does not suffer the fate of all messiahs. I do not wish to be as Mary watching Christ die on the cross."

Suzaku bit his cheek upon the idea of Lelouch dying as a martyr. Bleeding from on high as all humanity watched on either cheering or in indifferent silence. Then there was another issue in Suzaku's mind. The idea that Lelouch would accept the position as the Geass Order's Black King. While he was sure Lelouch would no bout seek to use that role as a means to secure the obedience of the Geass Order and all their resources, Suzaku feared what being treated as some kind of living god would do to his friend. He feared he would have to answer the question Kallen had asked him.

'Lelouch...I don't want to believe you'd ever give into corruption,' thought Suzaku. 'You're wiling to use whatever means to achieve your goals. I understand that because your goal is to bring peace and justice to the world. But even if your goals are noble...you could still...still...no I can't think like that. But...my ambition is to strike down all corrupt leaders, to judge those who believe themselves to be untouchable by justice, if you were to become the Black King of this Geass Civilization, and fulfilled their ambition you would be the only leader in the world. You could...then I would have no choice but to...'

Suzaku gripped tightly to his scythe. His ambition or his friend. Which would he choose if the choice ever came to him. Would he choose to be Lelouch's friend or his executioner? To be or not to be.

Ohgi, Tohdoh, Tamaki, and the rest of the Japanese faction of their alliance, including Lady Kaguya, the Britannian newsman Diethard, and the Chinese soldier Li Xingke, sat separately discussing the recent turn of events.

"At least it's all out in the open now," said Ohgi. "The question is does this really change anything?"

"Fundamentally no," said Tohdoh. "V.V is still the true enemy. However there is the question of what we should do about the Geass Order and their ambition."

"In a way their mission is similar to our own," said Kaguya. "The Geass Order seeks to regain control of the world that was once theirs just as we Japanese seek to regain control of the nation that was once ours. Only they've been fighting their war for centuries and their enemy is human progress itself. The world that is now is far different than the world was when the Geass Civilization ruled. I wonder if any remaining immortals from that day are truly still around. The wisdom they must have?"

"More like the delusions," said Chiba. "Do they really believe the world will accept a rule under Geass?"

"If they are led by a charismatic enough figure who fully demonstrates the power and existence of Geass," said Diethard. "Not to mention that we've all seen Lelouch's power in action. As well as the powers of Suzaku Kururugi and what you've described of Rai Hodges. The world will behold the existence of psychic power and when it is reviled that the Geass religion is the one that can bestow power to literally anyone there will be droves of powerless people who will gladly side with them to get a taste of that power. Before that kind of power what nation could possibly resist?"

"I'm not fighting to liberate Japan only for it to fall into the hands of another tyrant," said Urabe.

"That depends on if Lelouch plans to go along with the Order's objectives," said Ohgi. "He doesn't really strike me as the type to follow anyone else but himself."

"I agree, Lelouch was always defiant as a youth and if anything he's going to try and use the Order to his advantage," said Tohdoh. "Not to much like how he's used us in a way."

"To be fair we're using him too," said Ohgi. "But I'm not too worried. Lelouch could have used his Geass to bend us to our will long ago but he took a risk and chose to trust us. We have to take the same risk for him. And let him decide who he wishes to be Lelouch of the Rebellion or Lelouch of the Conquest."

The uneasy tension of simply waiting for Lelouch to come out of his room, a more serious version of the various tantrums of their childhood, Cornelia decided to walk to ease her nerves. Beside her were Guilford and Dalton.

The first thing she did was visit the place where the remains of her men had been collected. Their bodies had been mutilated by the experiments of the project and unlike Naoto or Rivalz, none of them survived. She also took a moment to see Rivalz and the work inflected on him.

"Damn that uncle of mine," cursed Cornelia. "He defiles the bodies of my men, makes a monster even more monstrous, and does god knows what to this boy."

"What do you think will happen to him?" asked Guilford.

"He can't possibly return to a normal life," said Dalton. "If anything the Order may try to take him. Under Lady Marianne I'm sure he'll at least be able to find some kind of peace in life."

"I'd doubt that," said Lloyd, walking from an examination of one of the containers retrieved from the base. "Our young friend's cybernetics seem to include plans for an advanced personal combat system. In other words built in weapons. From schoolboy to living weapon, just like that."

"How can you possibly make light of this?" yelled Dalton.

"Because I'm a sociopath," said Lloyd. "Perhaps why I'm not usually allowed to personally poke around with our young friend here."

"Why save him from one monster only to feed him to another, eh?" sniped Guilford.

"Ouch," Lloyd said sarcastically.

The scientist then found himself struck upside the head by his assistant Cecile.

"Sorry about him your highness," said Cecile.

"Quite alright," said Cornelia. "Now, if you will allow me a minute of privacy, all of you."

The four bowed and left Cornelia alone standing outside Rivalz's isolated cell. Taking a somber expression Cornelia placed a hand to the glass.

"I don't know if you can hear me," said Cornelia. "But I...I wanted to say I'm sorry. It was because I was weak that this has happened to you. I allowed myself to be captured by my enemies and their wickedness wounded you, one of the people I was sworn to protect. I can't tell the kind of devastation you'll feel when you wake. You may even want to take your own life believing that it would correct this. But that would only serve as a victory to the men who did this to you. The wanted you to be a weapon, a thing deprived of your humanity, but you mustn't let them. You cannot let this beat you. Hold onto the things that give your life worth living and strive to make this tragedy your strength. As redemption for my failure and how it has caused this, I swear I will do everything in my power to help you."

As Cornelia turned away from Rivalz she failed to notice the faint smile on his face.

Kallen stood outside of Lelouch's room, still locked tightly. She tried to find the courage to knock on his door. But she felt apprehensive, she didn't want to add more complications to Lelouch's day.

"You're worried about him too I see," said a voice from behind her.

Kallen turned and saw Kaguya and Euphemia.

"I...yes," said Kallen. "Lelouch and I...it's..."

"You care for him, there's nothing wrong about that," said Euphie, taking Kallen's hand in hers. "I noticed how you and he have gotten very close."

"You...have?" asked Kallen.

"A sister notices these things," said Euphie. "And so did..."

"Zero's future wife," said Kaguya.

"Huh?" asked Kallen, stunned by the brazen declaration from the younger girl.

Kallen knew of Lady Kaguya's reputation and her significant influence within the Kyoto House. But this was something unexpected.

"Future wife?" said Kallen.

"Indeed," said Kaguya. "And if anything we'll be sisters."

"Sisters?" asked Kallen becoming even more confused.

"Of course, recall that Lelouch's father had many concubines aside from Lady Marianne," said Kaguya. "It's only natural that Lelouch would follow in the footsteps of Righteous Emperor Charles. After all great heroes enjoy all the pleasures of the world."

"But...but he and I..."

"Even Emperor Charles had his favorite," said Kaguya, playfully as she took Kallen's other hand in hers. "I'd be gladly content with the position of a minor bride."

Kallen had been so stunned she couldn't speak up. It was only by the giggle of Euphemia did she seem to.

"Now now, Lelouch really is the one who gets the final choice in his brides now Lady Kaguya," said Euphie. "I don't think it'd be appropriate to already declare yourself wed."

"The hope of a maiden," said Kaguya. "But regardless you and I are bound to be family Princess Euphemia. Once you wed Suzaku."

Euphie gasped and pulled both her hands to her face as her face turned as pink as her hair.

"Oh come now your longing glances towards my cousin are confessions in all but words," laughed Kaguya.

Kallen sighed, glad she was no longer the target of Kaguya's antics. But she could already tell that she would be enduring many of these such incidents.

"Ah, what's this the discussions of young maidens over the hearts of courageous young men?" said Marianne walking up the hallway with Bismark in tow.

"Indeed, future mother-in-law," said Kaguya.

Marianne only gave an amused chuckle to Kaguya's boldness. Kallen suspected that she indeed took a shine to the would-be wife of her only son. Although her earlier statements suggested that Marianne was already well aware of what was going on between her and Lelouch. Perhaps it was because Kallen was a skilled Knightmare pilot just as she was when she earned the eye of Emperor Charles.

"My little dears, the earning of great men's hearts comes with a high price," said Marianne. "To marry a great man is to accept the duties he must fulfill and to support him dutifully and honorably. Always remember that his first love, his first duty, will always be the cause he fights for. Learn to love it as you love him and you will find as much happiness as you can."

In his dream Lelouch, now appearing his true age walked along the palace of Pendragon, Britannia's capital city. They walked during a dawn, when the son was beginning to rise over Britannia.

"Father...is this a dream or am I speaking to your ghost?" asked Lelouch. "Have I become mad like poor Hamlet?"

"Would it matter if I were either dream or spirit Lelouch?" countered Charles. "Am I not your father? Have I not taught you the lessons you took to heart as the core of your crusade?"

"Of course father," said Lelouch. "I suppose it truly doesn't matter. If you are a spirit though...I miss you."

Charles turned and smiled gently, placing his hand on Lelouch's shoulder.

"As I miss you my son," said Charles. "You, gentle Nunnally, and your beautiful mother."

"Did you know Mother was a member of the Geass Order?" asked Lelouch.

"Almost instantly," said Charles. "She was right Lelouch, I was trained by the Order as a boy. As was Bismark and your uncle Vincent."

"But you left the Order," said Lelouch.

"I did," said Charles.

"Why?" asked Lelouch.

"Because the Order wants something they cannot regain again," said Charles. "Mankind may be fascinated by the return of Geass but that awe will fade and quickly become replaced by fear and anger. Then war would be the only logical result. Mankind against Geass, and none would survive. The Order knows nothing more than sheer power. It takes more than power to end the chaos of the world. It takes ideals, conviction, and the Order has lost that. They've linger too long in this world. Their immortal founders now few and far between, their wasted centuries trying to bring humanity back to the past draining all purpose from their lives. The Order is now nothing more than a glorified cult profiting off of the breeding of conquerors and puppeteer the world from behind the scenes. They no longer truly know what their Geass Civilization was but they continue to seek its renewal because they would be nothing without it. They're pitiable, powerful to be sure but pitiable none the less. And their dependence upon their Black King prevents them for developing any true initiative. They could have conquered the world long ago if there was one among them who held true ambition. Unfortunately such a man came to be."

"V.V," said Lelouch.

"Indeed," said Charles.

"Why didn't you use the Order?" asked Lelouch.

"Because I was young and arrogant," said Charles. "I believed even though Geass could be a useful tool it was ultimately obsolete. That ideals of men not the magics of old man-gods were enough to life the wickedness over humanity and allow us to grow. I only used my Geass, as well as that of my friend Bismark, and no other, relying on my skill as a leader and a warrior to win the throne and advance Britannia into greatness. It wasn't until my brother broke off a new force from the Order and unleashed their raw strength upon us. That was always the issue with Vincent and I. Vincent is sheer strength with no ideals. While I had the ideals but in the end I had not the strength. The Order can be a useful resource, if you're willing to use it."

"I have no interest in being the messiah of some cult," said Lelouch.

"You should be willing to play whatever role you must to fulfill your objective Lelouch," said Charles. "Don't let foolish pride or ego stand in the way of what you seek? And just what is it you seek Lelouch? Do you seek justice for my death?"

"Of course father," said Lelouch.

"And what of Nunnally or your mother?" asked Charles.

The idea of Nunnally or his mother being thrown before V.V made Lelouch's stomach churn.

"And your allies who stand with you? Are you going to forget your promises to them simply because you don't like the idea of being the key figure of some ancient religion?" asked Charles.

Lelouch thought of Suzaku, the Black Knights, and Kallen.

"The Black King is but a role Lelouch," said Charles. "And you have made quite the actor. Playing the role of simple student, masked revolutionary, prince, brother, son, is Black King really such a stretch for you. And is Zero not meant to be seen as a messiah by the Japanese and Britannians? Are you not fighting to regain their former glory? You needlessly complicate the new role when in reality it is no new role at all."

Lelouch thought about his father's words and everything became clear again.

"All these years...you're still teaching me," said Lelouch.

Charles placed his hand on Lelouch's shoulder, and Lelouch could feel the strength of his father's spirit coursing through him.

"A father's wisdom is meant to be with his son even long after his death," said Charles. "As is his love."

Overcome Lelouch went to hug his father only to awake alone in his chamber.

As it was the previous night C.C had taken to enjoying Marianne's bed, with Marianne warming her.

"Will there ever be a day you'll forgive me?" asked Marianne, propping herself up on her shoulder.

"We had a contract and you failed to uphold it," said C.C. "Until my life is ended, you will belong to me. Besides does it matter? Does Bismark tire of respecting the vows of his dead friend and crave that which once belonged to Charles?"

C.C proceeded to deliver a sharp spank to Marianne's buttocks as if to prove a point.

"You're cruel C.C," said Marianne. "You can do with me what you wish. Force yourself onto me if you wish C.C, my penance for betraying you. Put a leash around my neck and walk me like a dog if you wish. But do not insult the memory of my darling Charles. Or the honor of Sir Bismark."

As if on cue the voice of Bismark, as well as a knock on her door, rang through.

"My lady, Lelouch is here to speak with you," said Bismark.

"One moment," said Marianne, leaping from the bed.

She quickly doused herself with perfume as to hide the activities C.C had put her through before quickly dressing in her robes. She then exited the room and into the hall where Lelouch stood next to Bismark.

"Lelouch," Marianne said, relief heavy in her voice.

"Mother," said Lelouch, a small smile on his face. "Can we talk please?"

The following morning Lelouch's allies had been called to share breakfast with Marianne. There Lelouch sat at the head of the table, the place of the king.

"I'm glad you've all come," said Lelouch. "I have decided to accept the role of the Black King of the Geass Order."

An uproar from more of the loudmouth members of the group, namely Tamaki, sprang up but Ohgi forced Tamaki into his seat with the help of Tohdoh, wanting to allow Lelouch the chance to explain himself.

"The Black King is merely another title, just as Zero is," said Lelouch. "And in truth the goals of the Geass Order are similar to many of our original goals. The Japanese members we have gathered here seek to regain control of their nation and re-establish their government. Cornelia and several other Britannian resistance groups seek to overthrow V.V and restore the empire as our father the late Emperor Charles built. However...all of these goals are for naught."

"Can you please elaborate?" asked Ohgi, his eyes narrowed in suspicion but also in interest.

"Quite frankly put you are all seeking to reclaim a past that no longer exists," said Lelouch. "Tell me Ohgi, just what kind of Japan do you want to resurrect?"

"This isn't a quest of nostalgia," said Ohgi. "It's a mission to ensure the people of Japan are the ones in control of their own destiny."

"Don't you mean to ensure the Kyoto Group is in control of your destiny?" asked Lelouch. "No offense to you Lady Kaguya, but I think we can all agree that if it were to come down to it the old fools of the Kyoto Group would seek to ensure they were the ones who gained power of Japan, claiming that it's for the good of the people. When in reality it's nothing more than the same nonsense that has left our world in a state of perpetual war and tyranny. Old men bickering over who is in charge while young people are left to die with eager excitement. The belief that the cause their fighting for and the old men their fighting to empower are the right leaders to whom they will entrust the lives and happiness of their loved ones to."

"Yes but...that's just the way it is," said Ohgi, disgust obvious in his voice.

"Does it have to be?" asked Lelouch. "And what of the recent corruption displayed in the High Eunuchs of the Chinese Federation as Xingke has explained? And in Europe the E.U is almost ready to collapse in on itself given how the war is going for them against Euro Britannia. These along with the corruption that has infected Britannia under the rule of V.V. ultimately shows the world is essentially in a stagnate state of corruption that has halted the achievements of human endeavor. My father liked to use the image of Atlas holding the sky as a way of explaining his ideals and the duty of a true monarch to me. That like how Atlas keeps the sky from crushing humanity and destroying our world, a true monarch must hold up the evil and misery of the world so humankind can grow and thrive. The evils of our world have collapsed upon humankind, Atlas has fallen. I intend to raise him up again."

"Since your father's ideology then are you saying you're prepared to become king of the world?" asked Kaguya.

"Fundamentally speaking yes," said Lelouch. "However I intend to conquer not man but the evils that plague him. And I will use the power of the Geass Order as a means to do so. They say I am to renew their civilization, however they barely remember what a civilization ruled by Geass even looked like As such the new Geass Civilization will not be one in which the Geass is worshiped or its Users treated like gods. It will be one in which Geass has purged evil from this world."

'So that's how you figured it,' thought Suzaku, pleased Lelouch had found a way to fit the prophecy of the Order to his ideals.

"And as ever I will honor the promises I've made to the Japanese and liberate them from the rule of V.V," said Lelouch. "But the question I levy to you all who are true born children of Japan, would you allow your resurrected nation to be as it was before or would you see it birthed a new from the ground up?"

Ohgi pressed his clasped hands to his chin in thought.

"What exactly are you trying to say Lelouch?" he asked.

"I'm asking, how would you all like the be the new Japanese government?" asked Lelouch.

Ohgi, Tohdoh, really all Lelouch's Japanese allies gasped.

"It's not enough to liberate Japan fro V.V, you must also ensure Japan will be free from all future corruption," Lelouch continued. "What I am proposing now is a complete restructuring of our alliance. A true sense of unity and structure between the Black Knights, Cornelia's military forces, and the Geass Order. Reorganized to represent the ideals of bracing mankind from the evils that threaten to crush it. I discussed it at length with my mother. The Order's considerable resources have built up a great fleet of state of the art warships much like the one we stand in now. With access to Knightmare development technology that Lloyd and Rakshata can gush over and improve to their hearts desires. This will become a true force to be contended with, not just for the Eden Elite, but for all corruption in the world. We will go out into the world a reborn force. We will go out and be feared and praised as the Atlas Fleet."

"And all those corrupt forces you seek to destroy you'll ensure are replaced with leadership that meets with your approval, correct?" asked Xingke.

"Would it be any different than what I did for you and sweet Tianzi?" asked Marianne. "How many other fools like the Eunuchs are ruining their countries and condemning other sweet children like Tianzi to misery?"

Xingke couldn't help but acknowledge the logic in Marianne's words and bowed his head in acknowledgement. From where he sat Suzaku was somewhat troubled. While he agreed with Lelouch, there was one major issue he felt he couldn't ignore any longer. He rose from his seat and walked to his old friend.

"Lelouch, while I agree with this path you've planned us to go down the power you'll wield will make you the world's king in all but name," said Suzaku. "As such the possibility of you falling to the corruption of such power is...high. Do you have a contingency for such a thing?"

Lelouch stood and his eyes were level with Suzaku.

"I'm looking right at him," said Lelouch.

Suzaku grimaced, Lelouch had answered the question for him, something he hoped he wouldn't.

"If I had a choice of death, second to old age I would choose that it be at the hands of a friend," said Lelouch. "I realize how easily this path would bring me to tyranny. If I were to one day realize that I've become like V.V if not worse, I would wish nothing less than death because the misery would be so great for me. I'd like someone to put me out of my misery before that. Who better than the man who plans to make the killing of corrupt kings his life's mission?"

"Lelouch..."

"Suzaku, I'm not commanding you to do this," said Lelouch. "I'm asking you as my friend to keep me from becoming the very evil I wish to purge from this world."

"And what if I become that same evil myself Lelouch and I simply kill you to obtain power, have you thought about that?" asked Suzaku.

"I'd have killed you by then," said Lelouch.

The two old friends looked at each other in silence as the others looked on in eager curiosity.

'The suspense is killing me,' thought Marianne. 'I hope it never ends.'

Finally, Suzaku made the first move. He pulled out a knife and cut the palm of his hand, earning a gasp from Euphemia. Suzaku then handed the knife to Lelouch who quickly did the same. The two then placed their bloodied hands together in a shake, sealing their oath in blood.

Unknown to the two blood brothers, or to the group at large, the whole thing was being watched via one of the ship's security cameras. With the entire video feed being observed by Rivalz Cardemonde, lying in his bed with his good eye open, the mark of Geass shining brightly.