1 My life, my simple life

I slowly open my eyes, I see the sunlight coming through the curtains and the only thing I think about is to go back to sleep until I can't anymore.

"Alex, breakfast is ready!"

But my dad's voice distracts me from the thought.

I try to wake up to answer.

"Alex!"

"I'm coming!" I manage to scream with the little strength I still have.

Finally I get up from my bed and start looking in my closet to put on clothes on this beautiful day and... *sigh* full of tasks.

I don't take too long in finding something simple, that I'm not afraid to get dirty and it doesn't look bad.

'As if it mattered to put on something nice' I tell myself.

I grab a checked shirt and a little torned jeans and head to the bathroom to shower and finish getting ready.

After 15 minutes I leave the bathroom ready for breakfast.

"If you are going to come down please bring me my backpack, it's in my room" my dad asks me.

"Sure"

I enter to his boring room, with just a few decoration.

My dad doesn't like me to enter his room, he knows I'm very curious.

I see his backpack already prepared in his bed, but I'm not satisfied with that, I give a quick look to the place to see if I can find something interesting.

Above the drawer, next to his bed, I see a book with a very strange cover, it looks like some kind of religious book.

I get a little closer to see the title of the book.

'Xenon... what a strange name'

"Alex, hurry up! I have to go" he shouts hastily.

Each month he always goes to the city to bring all the necessary things for the next month, like food, cleaning stuff, entertainment and so on.

"Sure, I'm coming!"

I grab the backpack and run down the stairs. I pass by the side of the dining room and I see that he has already had breakfast, as always on this day, and I arrive with dad who is already waiting at the door.

"Sorry, here's your backpack"

"Thank you. I'm going to the city to pick up the supplies, I come back at night. Remember to do all the tasks and don't forget to water the plants like last time..."

"Yes don't worry. By the way, I saw a book in your room, the cover was strange, it was made of leather and it had Xenon written on it"

It seems he didn't like what I said.

"Alex... what did I tell you about spying on my things?" he says with a serious face.

"I'm sorry, but you asked me to enter and you know that I love books, couldn't you lend it to me? I already read all the books I have"

"No"

"But why n-"

"Because. I'll bring you new books. Breakfast is at the table, see you in a few hours, maybe I'll arrive later so don't wait for me."

"Sure", I answer angrily.

He gives me a little kiss on the cheek and leaves for the city.

We live in a land that has always belonged to our family.

The house is extremely large for only two people. It has two stories, 8 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2 dining rooms and 2 kitchens, but no electricity.

And even with that, there is still too much room to hold family reunions, that if we have family out there, or invite friends to hang out, if I had one.

I always think about all of this when I have to take care of the whole place by myself.

I go to the corrals to verify that everything is fine.

By the way, we take care of cows, pigs, chickens and a few horses.

From time to time people come to buy them, except Navy, our horse, which we have cared for since I can remember.

In my mind I keep digressing everywhere. I have already gone through the stages of comprehending the themes of the great size of the universe, the objective of life and that I will die one day.

There is only one thing that I haven't been able to overcome and dad only makes it worse every time I talk about it.

I don't remember my mother's face, I don't think she was there after the day I was born and whenever I ask him something about her, he changes the subject.

I remember perfectly the day I broke the limit of his patience.

It was two years ago, I was desperate that he never answered the questions about mom, so I stood in front of him and decided to face him with a direct question:

"Did you love mom?"

He turned to see me with no expression on his face.

"Alex, what have I told you about this" he tells me as he starts to get away from me.

On any other day I would've left him alone, but that day, that day I exploded with everything I had inside and started screaming at him:

"Why? I deserve an answer, I want to know what she was like, was she beautiful, dedicated, distracted, humble, happy? At least she loved me? Answer something please..."

I can barely contain my despair. While it seems that my words didn't affect him at all, he answered me very coldly:

"Alex, sorry. I can't"

I blew up.

"You can't? Is that really your answer? Why do we live here, who is our family?" I say as I push him.

"Alex, stop pushing me"

"Better said, do we have a family? Why don't I have friends? Why do we live far from society? "

"Alex..."

"What are you hiding from me?"

He was totally static, doing nothing, even seemed not to breathe. Desperate to get no answer, I shouted at him as loud as never before:

"I hate both of you!"

Just as I finished saying it, he raised his arm and slapped me.

The first and last time he has done it. But that wasn't what surprised me the most.