25 If my guitar is the Wallace sword then my sex is Excalibur.

03h00pm We finally arrive at the festival venue. It's a very big festival but the thing is that it takes place on a farm. Arriving in London, this time we used a small plane to get to Birmingham and a car without much interest. No hotel in the area, so tent for everyone. We are lucky, as our correspondent Sony has told us on the phone, because we will enjoy certainly our 4 tent canvases ****. Lucky? My ass, it stinks of the dung at three miles. As we do not go on stage before 7:55 pm, I decided to go for a walk on the site to listen to the different groups that are playing at this time.

03h35pm

Tina "Impossible, it's a disaster. God, I have to find him."

Diego "What's happening to you Tina? Did you lose your menstrual tampon?"

Tina "Cretin, it's more serious than that."

Stan "What's going on again and where is little Jules?"

Diego "He must certainly masturbate in the tent. I would never understand this guy. He has a girlfriend on which all men fantasize but this idiot plays with his dick."

Stan "I think I have found the answer to this mystery. I think he believes that what he has between the legs is a magic wand. He may think that if he shakes it, a fairy will appear."

Diego "Not stupid. Or a magic lamp as in Aladdin. It is to see the genius appear that it is constantly rubbing. pfft"

Stan "But it's not the genie coming out of her little bird, is it, Tina?"

Tina "Have you finished laughing? The situation is serious. No, she's dramatic."

Diego "He is not 5 years old, you can leave him a little alone. Stop always cajoling him."

Tina "Cretin, look around you. Here we are in an area where security guarantees our tranquility, but past this area, how many journalists are walking around. If they see Jules and they interview him, it will be a disaster. Imagine how much stupidities he will say."

Diego "Oh shit, we're bad. We must quickly find this human catastrophe."

Stan "Forget it, it's too late. Look on the Canadian Album Charts portal. (Is Acid Mouth's young guitarist obsessed or provocative?) Jules, I'll kill you as soon as I see you."

Diego "play us this interview. Maybe it's not so dramatic?"

03h05pm

Oh, there are a lot of people on the scene. Look at all these asses. I dance among a lot of hot asses, a real erotic waltz. Their smell comes to me. I am finally happy to have made the trip. Why do I wear this cap and these glasses, it's silly. Whao, this one is so hot that she just showed her breasts. Who is that guy? Why does he look at me like this? My friend, if you think my hobby is the sodomy, you're wrong. ???? Do not come here, I'm not gay and I do not want you to explode my puck. Oh shit, a press card and the other bugs are not here. To me the interview in peace. This is my hour of glory coming to meet me.

Journalist "Are you Jules de Acid Mouth, I'm not mistaken? I'm Harry Petter from Canadian Music Magazine (Canadian Album Charts.) What would you say to a short interview? It will be filmed. I specify it so that you are not surprised."

The Holy Grail. "Hi go ahead, I'm ready scales."

Journalist. "Jules, you never usually speak during the interviews. Can you tell us why?"

Let's play the heroes. "I asked myself the question and the only answer I found was this one. My talent already eclipses the rest of the members of my group. If my words did the same, there would be nothing left for them."

Shocked journalist. "Ha, um, I understand. Rumors claim that you would be in a relationship and live with your singer. You are a minor, what do your parents say about this situation?"

Let's be honest. "The old woman jumped with joy when she learned that she could finally get rid of me. My father simply told me. Son, she is older than you and certainly has more experience than you, so prove to her that your sex a big, strong and vigorous and is that he can make her climb to the curtains."

Journalist lost. "Let's talk about your passions. What is the latest movie you've seen and what activity do you practice the most?"

Garden of Eden, you remember me. "Jeff, one of my best friend, sold me a great little amateur movie. This is his mother who gets fucked by her step father. This woman is a deity. Myself, if I had not met Tina, I would have paid for to ride on her. My hobby, easy, masturbation. Yesterday for example, I masturbated more than 10 times in front of the movie of the mother of my friend. I do not even tell you how dry my balls were."

Desperate journalist. "Let's talk about music if you want. You are passionate about music, it shows when you play. When you're on stage, you seem like in a trance, possessed by something. Tell us more about it."

"If you will allow me, I would like to share with you a quotation that I created myself, as a premise to my answer. 'If my guitar is the sword Wallace then my sex is Excalibur'. I see on your face that you are moved by this quote and I can understand this natural reaction. To be honest, I associate music to pleasure and concerts to a bunch of big boobs and asses that chant my name. Listen and you will hear them. You heard them? The one who lives in me, it is the obvious itself. It's none other than Eros. Eros, the first god of sex. I am his representative but not only. On stage, I'm his equal."

Journalist exhausted. "I now think I understand why you never answer the interviews. Thank you for these honest and interesting answers. Jules, good chances for upcoming concerts."

03h40pm

Tina "Little dumb, I'll kill you."