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After spending nights in the forest, Laraba resigned herself to believe that they were going to be stuck there for a very long time. The men did not speak to them at all. She was still in deep thought when the men forced them to their feet, commanded them to strip and ordered them to a nearby stream to wash.

Laraba jumped in, gasping for breath at the coldness of the water, although it felt glorious on her skin. The other girls joined her and tried vainly to remove days of filth.

When Laraba came out of the water exhausted, she noticed some of the men were looking strangely at her sister, Miriam. They were laughing and pointing at her. The other girls did not seem to arouse the same degree of interest. One of the men, a large ugly man whose eyes had never left Miriam for a moment, grabbed her arm as she passed him on her way back up the stream bank. He threw her to the ground and started to take his clothes o quickly, hungrily, while at the same time folding them neatly on the grass. Laraba stared in disbelief at the man's swollen erect penis and ew at him, who was now holding Miriam down on the ground. She hit him in the middle of his stomach with her head and all the force she could muster. The man reeled back and a second gunman grabbed Laraba and held her helpless with her hands pinned behind her back. The commotion attracted the attention of the other gunmen and they strolled over to watch. Laraba's captor was now laughing, a loud belly laugh with no humour in it. This only added to her anguish.

Laughter interspersed the remarks that Laraba could not always comprehend. She watched the naked soldier advance his hard, well-fed body slowly towards Miriam, who started screaming.

Once again, Laraba struggled, trying desperately to free herself from the viselike grip, but she was helpless in the arms of the gunman. The naked man fell clumsily on top of Miriam and started kissing her, and slapping her when she tried to fight or turn away; finally, he lunged into her. She let out a scream such as Laraba had never heard before. The gunmen continued talking and laughing among themselves, some not even watching.

"The heathen is a virgin," said the first gunman as he withdrew from her.

"Then you just made it easier for me," said the second gunman.

More laughter followed. Laraba began to retch as her sister stared into her eyes. The gunman holding on to her showed little interest, other than to be sure none of the girl's vomit soiled his garment. The first gunman, his penis now covered in blood, ran down to the stream, yelling as he hit the water. The second gunman undressed, while yet another held Laraba down. The second gunman took a little longer over his pleasure and seemed to gain considerable satisfaction from hitting Miriam; when he finally entered her, she screamed again but not quite as loud as before.

"Haruna, you've had enough."

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"Leave my sister alone," Laraba screamed. "Allah zaiazabtaku. God will punish you!"

"Allah zaihukuntani? God will punish me?" Haruna said as he flung Miriam aside and stomped towards Laraba. "I am the messenger of God. I serve the only true God!"

"No God takes the lives of the innocent. Kana da aljan. You are all demons," Laraba screamed as she spat on the ground.

He viciously hit Laraba across her cheek. "Watch your mouth or I slit your throat."

"I am not afraid of dying. You can do nothing to me." Laraba screamed.

Haruna smiled viciously. "You are not afraid, ehhhhh. Death will be a quicker escape for you, yarinya." Still smiling, he turned and made for Miriam.

He grabbed Miriam by her hair and made her kneel before him, facing Laraba. "Your sister, yes? Let's see how your God will come down and save her."

Terrified, Laraba pleaded, "No, please. Don't hurt her. It's enough."

The gunman snarled, "I agree." Like lightening, he removed a bridled knife from a pouch and slashed Miriam's throat.

Laraba screamed as she broke free and ran to the side of her sister, raising her head and covering the gash with her right hand in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

Miriam struggled to speak as blood owed out of her mouth. She weakly held on to Laraba's wrist as she let out a deep sigh.

"Truly, she was an infidel," Haruna declared to other gunmen.

They all laughed even more loudly, as he wiped the blade on the grass.

With the help of two of the other girls, watching and crying silently, Laraba carried Miriam to the edge of the stream, and there she wept as she tried to wash away her blood. It was useless. When Laraba had done the best she could, she covered Miriam's body with her wrappa and held her in her arms. As tears ran down her face onto her sister's body, she felt her go limp. Laraba wept as she and the girls carried Miriam's body up the bank. The gunmen went silent as they watched the procession. Laraba fell to the ground and started digging with her bare hands. She kept at it for over an hour, crying, reminiscing. At high noon, she rolled her sister into the grave. After she buried her sister, she collapsed on the mound, immediately falling asleep, not caring if she woke again, and wishing she did not.

****

Laraba did not cry again. Not because she did not feel pain anymore, not because she did not feel sorrow. It was just a way to keep going. To survive. To live. Sleeping became her oasis—a place where she could go to and nd peace. So many times in captivity, there were numerous close calls she had to being rescued. On one occasion, she heard her father's voice calling out her name as he participated in one of the many search parties that explored Sambisa looking for the kidnapped girls. Like so many other instances, Laraba wanted to scream out but faced a very real threat from the leader of the gunmen. "If they get to camp, we will kill them all," he said.

Laraba was the last girl to be raped in camp. Maybe because she seemed more shadowlike than human, a skeletal apparition lying on the ground, hungry and helpless. She was thankful for whatever it was that kept the men at bay. While the other girls were daily assaulted, she was left alone. It did not last long. The leader began to take a special interest in her; and for some reason, he refused to touch her outside the context of 'marriage'.

A marriage rite was held for them and after they were declared married, she was ordered to move into the cave with her husband. For a while, she was able to avoid him, until he began to threaten her with a knife. When she still refused, he brought out his gun, warning that she would die a slow painful death if she refused him.

Then it began; and once he started, he couldn't seem to stop. Once, he told his men to reduce her height because she was being arrogant and stubborn; so they got clubs and hit her legs. They did not cut the legs o, but they hit them until Laraba slumped and passed out.

And so it went on; daily, the captors went to kill, and when they came back they raped their captives.

How she escaped, she never knew. It was a blur. She remembered leaving the cave as soon as her 'husband' had fallen asleep after a violent session. She remembered stumbling and rising, as if pulled by an unknown force. She remembered shrieking and laughing. She remembered reaching out to the sun and groping in darkness. She heard voices and moved towards them, blindly. She did not know if she was being chased, she just ran.