Chapter 31

sorry. sorry. SORRY. I took too long.

IMPORTANT NOTE:

-- MayMuggle [May 25, 2011]

So the guy on the right side of the screen is what I somewhat pictured Logan to be like but then I found out he was suppose to be Edward Cullen and I was like ick not Twilight again BUT SCREW IT I DONT CARE!!!!!! I PICK HIM. Boo movie ppl for not seeing he was hotter.

I wake up alone in my bed to the sound of my mother yelling for me to come down for breakfast. I want to protest and say I would much rather sleep in but what am I suppose to say Mom, can I stay home today? Logan snuck into my room and kept me up until almost three in the morning.

After grudgingly getting out of bed to go for a shower, I step out of the tub with a towel on and find Logan sitting casually on my vanity.

Being somewhat angry I tighten my towel around myself, “Logan what are you doing in here?"

He smiles cockily, "Sorry babe but it didn't look like I would get my morning dose of Ambi Bambi since your parent's are in the kitchen."

"You spent the whole night with me. I am pretty sure you have got your morning dose."

He pulls me gently toward himself slowly kissing along my neck. "Mmm. I beg to differ."

A part of me wants to get lost in him too but a bigger part of me is freaked out that someone will walk in and ruin this moment. "Logan…"

"I thought we decided that you should stop talking when I am trying to kiss you."

"Mmm." I say letting him have one last kiss. "Really we should not be doing this. Remember yesterday when you decided you didn't want my parents knowing."

Logan cocks his head up, "I said I didn't want them to know, not that I would not try to get some alone time with you."

"Hehehe. Very smart." I say wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head against his chest. He sighs and I can hear his calming breathing. With his hand on my back he slowly rubs my back were my skin is freed from the confinement of my towel which gives me goose-bumps.

"Okay Ambs, I got to go." Logan says giving me a kiss on the cheek and sliding out of the bathroom.

"Bye." Once he is gone, I proceed to change into some skinny jeans and a plain shirt. While changing into my clothes I wondered idly if my mom would ever finish her story. Yesterday night she told me a lot of stuff I never knew about but today is a new day and maybe she will regret telling me everything. Swallowing as much of my fear as possible I walk down stairs to the kitchen to see a Thorn-family breakfast in the making. Dad and mom are sitting on far end of the table drinking coffee and talking in hushed tones, while Logan and Josh are standing at the kitchen island eating eggs and drinking orange juice. As I walk into Logan's line of vision, he wracks over my body looking at it appraisingly and winks seductively. I try my hardest not to make a face but my cheeks burn red, which brings a big smile to his face.

Just as I am about to flip him off, "Amber darling good morning." my mom says.

I turn around to face her and smile at her. She looks less tired than yesterday and she even has her hair and make-up done. "Good Morning."

"Are you okay honey? You look a little flustered."

I turn to face the counter where Logan is laughing into his eggs and say, "Oh…erm… I am fine." I give Logan one last half hearted dirty look and go into the pantry to grab a breakfast bar and maybe crawl under a rock and die.

When we finally leave the house to go to school twenty minutes later, I am more than pleased. Mom decided we should all sit at the table and play family. In theory, the idea was sweet; the execution was uncomfortable to say the least. Sitting between Logan and my mom while Logan decided to feel me up is not exactly a good family moment. Heart pounding, flustering and toe curling, yes but not something you would want to feel at a breakfast table with the family.

As we leave the driveway, I whack Logan in the back of his head from the seat behind him.

Rubbing his head, he says "Oww. What is that for?"

"You know exactly what it is for?" From the side view mirror I can see a big bone head grin on Logan's face. "Why would you do that to me when you know how squirmy I am?"

"Sorry Ambs. It is just too much fun watching you.”

"You’re a pig."

"I just like seeing you act a little crazed. No harm done." No harm done?! It is as if I am talking to an idiot.

Josh who up until now had stayed quiet butts in, "Can you not discuss this with me in the car? I get that you guys are a thing but seriously, she is my baby sister. I would rather not be here to hear how my best friend gets her going."

At the same time Logan and I both say, "Sorry.” Although mine sounds more like an apology than Logan who still seems a little too proud of himself.

When we get out of the car, Josh walks straight for the school clearly trying to avoid the completion of this conversation. As soon as Josh leaves, Logan takes the liberty of wrapping his arms around me and squeezing me.

"Lover boy, you done?" I say when the warning bell rings for classes to start.

"Nope. I don’t get to touch you at home now, so I am not letting you go." I give him a squeeze and then loosen his grip around me.

"You know the day started 8 hours ago and I am pretty sure you spent 7 of those hours with your hands around me."

"Still not enough." I tip toe to his lips and give him a kiss.

"Peachey it is going to have to be enough for now. You may be a genius, who also happens to be adored by the faculty but I am not. So I have to get to class or it will be detention for the Thorn girl."

Making a pouty face, "Ditch first period with me?"

"You and me both know that is not happening and my parents are home which means when the school calls they will know I ditched."

"Alright fine, but will you come out with me for lunch."

"Absolutely." I say giving him a lingering kiss on the lips.

"Lunch? Promise?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." I say with a grin as I pull him towards the school.

With a grin on Logan's face, he walks me to my first period and right as I am thinking this day could not get any better I see Adam standing watching me and Logan walking hand in hand.

"Amber." Adam says looking hurt.

"Adam. Hey. I-I…." I start to say but realize I have nothing to say.

"You know I knew there was something up between the two of you. I guess I should have listened to my gut instead of listening to you tell me there was nothing." Adam says with a humorless laugh.

"Adam. I am super sorry. I didn't mean-" I say.

Logan stares between Adam and me, and then walks off. Well crap now he is mad too. Why can't boys be less dramatic?

Adam looks at me looking at Logan's ghost and says, "Yeah. I am sure your sorry." and then walks into the classroom.

I sigh loudly and then walk into the classroom as well. There is an unspoken awkwardness between Adam and me and it is driving me a bit bananas. As class ends, I leave last so I do not need to walk near Adam. The rest of the morning goes by less eventful, but when 4th period is ending, I am not sure if I still have a date with Logan. I have not talked to him since we made the plan and I did not text him because I don’t know what to say. As I walk out of 4th period, I see Logan waiting for me. "Hey."

Not sure what to expect I say, "Hi."

Logan looks at me funny, “You okay?"

"Yeah. You okay. You left in a hurry this morning."

Logan smiles, "Well I didn’t think me standing there was helping the situation. I figured I would let you talk to him because I have no interest in being his friend but you clearly do."

I grimace, "It's not like that Logan. Adam is a nice guy and he didn’t deserve to be treated the way I treated him."

"You dated him and you kissed me. I was treated like crap too."

"Yeah well neither did you but I love you so I am aloud.”

He laughs, "So you being in love with me makes it okay for you to treat me like poop."

"No but you know me better than anyone else so you should know I didn’t mean to hurt you. I realize it sounds retarded but I cannot explain it.

Putting his arm around me he kisses my head, “Has anyone ever told you that despite all your cynicism you are a total romantic and don't worry, I know what you mean Bambi.”

"Yeah whatever you say Peachey." I kiss him on the lips when we reach the car meaning for it to be only a sweet kiss but soon enough it turns into something more. I groan as Logan's hands roam my exposed skin.

He stops kissing me so we can both catch our breath and makes a proposition.” You know I could think of something better we could do rather than going out. We do have a spacious back seat to ourselves."

With my cheeks slightly pink, I say, "mmm. While I am sure you have a very...interesting…plan, I am starving so I WANT FOOD."

Grudgingly he closes the back door of the car and opens the front one for me. "Fine Princess. But one way or another I am getting you into the back of this car with me." He says the last part with too much confidence.

"Yeah, in your dreams." Or mine.

"Face it babe, you can't resist me forever. I will eventually wear you down until you are begging me to…"

Cutting him off, "keep it pg some of us would like to leave this vehicle with a clean mind."

"Right sorry. Forgot my virgin goddess can't listen to a little dirty talk without going pink in the cheeks."

I would like to say I have some snarky comment to counter with but I am just not that awesome. "I think I am offended." I say not entirely sure what else there is left to say on the matter.

"Don’t be. Being with a virgin is an extreme turn on." Then he slyly adds, "Uninhabited territory." with a cocky smirk.

"Oh god…please stop." I say covering my face.

"Told you would go pink in the cheeks."

"Never said I wouldn't." I say.

After lunch, Logan dropped me off at school and decided to call it a day early and catch up on some sleep he missed in my presence but said he would pick me up when school ended. Therefore, I am now waiting for the dumb bell to ring so I can hopefully catch up on sleep because Logan is really starting to ruin my beauty sleep. How is a girl supposed to sleep when her boyfriend who has enjoyed the company of too many girls and parties suddenly quits cold turkey? I will forever be his source of entertainment, which has never really been a problem until now when my parents are actually home and expect me to be awake at normal hours. I cannot just sleep during the day with the explanation that my boyfriend, who to them does not exist, is keeping me up all night because he is so dang delicious and I cannot get enough of him during the day.

When the bell rings, I run to the parking lot and see Logan waiting for me in the front. As soon as our eyes meet, I feel a huge smile spread to my face.

"Lover boy." I say sounding like a kid on Christmas morning.

He laughs, "Hey how was the rest of your day?"

"Boring and uneventful."

Smiling cockily, "that tends to happen in my absences."

"I actually might believe that. If you’re not there who will be the dork everyone is laughing at?" I finish with a superior grin. "So did you miss me?"

"Yeah." He says looking a little drained.

Jokingly I say, "Don't tell me one nap without me and suddenly your having withdrawals?"

He sighs. “I am always suffering from Ambi withdrawals but I actually had a question for you. Will you be my date at my dad's wedding?"

Trying not to grin excitedly and not quite succeeding I say, "Yeah."

"You can stop faking a serious face." With that, I smile fully. "I got home and your mom was there and we kind of got to talking, but my phone kept going off. So I explained the situation and she insisted that I go. You Thorn women are very persistent."

"YEAH. I am very proud of you Peachey to epic proportions. I knew you would come around eventually."

"Yeah I am only going because your mom said that my mom would have wanted me too and because I got her to volunteer you to be my date so act annoyed when she tells you and wear something a little low cut and short."

"Right. I am not wearing a slutty dress to your dad's wedding so you can fulfill some sick fantasy. "

Making a pouty face, "Can you at least go commando? I mean I am going to my dad's wedding to a whore he had on the side."

"Yeah so you want me to dress like a slut because...? And don't call her a whore it is rude to say the least."

"Right sorry. Come on princess it is a wedding. Everyone gets a little horny."

"No everyone cries at weddings. Nobody but you and the drunken bridesmaids get horny. "

"Please. You know you love the way I look at you all sexy-d up."

"Yeah when I said I loved the way you looked at me I meant when you looked at me like I was the only person in the world not when I wear something revealing."

"There is a difference?"

"Yeah you bone head."

"Okay how am I looking at you now?" He says staring intently into my eyes so I get lost in a sea of blue as deep as the ocean. "Well."

Shaking my head slightly and noticing Logan smirking slightly, "Oh... erm that was most definitely like I was the only person in the world."

"Well your wrong. I was thinking of you and how beautiful you looked, which is not the same as me looking at you like you’re the only person in the world cause if I thought that we would be wearing a lot less clothes."

"Hehehe." I giggle. "Would we really?"

"Yes. Princess, you getting off here?" I turn around disappointed to see my house.

"Oh right. You’re not coming home?"

"Nope, picking up a shift at Al's."

"Uhhh…if you being a working boy wasn't so adorably cute I would be more annoyed."

Smiling sweetly at my frustration he say, "I will miss you too Ambi Bambi."

"Bye. See you later?"

"Where else would I go?"

Dramatically, "I don’t know probably to a girl willing to wear something sluty or at least willing to go commando to a wedding with you."

"Yeah but I like the challenge you present." He says with a wink.

Smiling I walk off toward the house hearing Logan honk once as he leaves.

"What are you smiling about?" My mom says snapping me out of my Logan daze.

"Oh nothing. Just remembering a funny thing my teacher said."

"Oh. Well I am glad I caught you in a good mood. This weekend your going with Logan to his father's wedding."

"What? Why me?"

"Look sweetie I know you might have plans since it is Saturday but this is a big deal. Logan and his father's relationship is kind of on the rocks, this was the only way I figured he would go. Heavens knows that boy has had a small crush on you since you were kids."

"He has not." I say not believing it despite dating the guy.

"He has."

"No he hasn't he spent our entire childhood picking on me."

"Yes, and at 11 that is like declaring your undying love for a girl."

Rolling my eyes, "Fine, I will go."

"Good. Who knows you might end up having fun with Logan. Either way he is very handsome so at the very least you can look at a pretty face all evening."

Rolling my eyes at my mother more for effect than anything else, I walk up to my room and start doing homework.

At four in the afternoon, my mom informs me that she and dad are going out for a meeting, so that leave the kids with the house to themselves for the evening. We never really picked up on the conversation about Rebecca from the previous night, which was disappointing but my mom told me that she would take me and Logan shopping for the wedding so I am hoping it will come up later. Logan needs a suit because I think the only one he owns is from his mom's funeral and I doubt he would wear that again ever. I need a formal dress even though I have a million to quote my mother You can't seriously show up to a wedding in Last Season’s clothes. I did not have the heart to tell her I could careless and I doubted Logan cared that I was wearing last season’s clothes either.

After mom and dad left, it was just me in the house because Logan would not be home until like seven and Josh was hanging with a friend.

I took the liberty to go back to Rebecca's room and pull the purple box with my name on it. After taking a deep breath I open the box to find a piece of paper that is folded with Amber written on it and I also find a charm bracelet in it that I was in love with but it never quite fit me because I was too small. I pick up the bracelet first putting it on and am pleased to see it finally fits. I am not sure whether I am ready for this letter, but it is probably been too long. I mean what if this letter told me where to find her or something but after waiting for a while, she thought I did not want to talk to her and moved on. I did not expect her to wait for me forever, she had to move on, and rumor has it she did with Jayden and her son. So then why am I trying to read this letter to break my own heart? Jeez, I am such a chicken. Okay Amber be a big kid and suck it up…it is a letter.

Dear Amber,

I know if you are reading this, I am long gone and I am sorry I left so quickly. It must have been hard for you to have me leave you when you probably needed a big sister most but I had my reasons. Living in this house, with our parents, was never easy for me, which you probably remember. I felt like I was suffocating, like I could scream at the top of my lungs and nobody would hear me. It sounds so dramatic when I say it but the house you grew up in was so different from the one you remember. You probably remember our childhood as a candy land with smiles and fun at the park, but it was a lot different from that. Josh and I tried our hardest to shield you from the truth and I hope we were successful. I am not really sure when or even if I will come back but I want you to know I love you. I was in bad place when I left, too tired to go on living this life and Jayden saved me. I hope that one day I can introduce you to Jay and that you meet someone who will save you from this house. I do not know exactly where I am going so I will call you or something when I get there.

Love always,

Rebecca

p.s. I know that you think pleasing everyone is important but you just cannot please some people. Don’t spend your whole life pleasing the parents. Be yourself in spite of them.

Well I hope you like it.

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