Chapter 150

150

during the period of healing, Xiao yuanmu seems to have lit up his love talk skills without any teacher.

Every day when he gets up, song Xuanhe always gets a kiss the next second he opens his eyes, and then Xiao yuanmu just wakes up with some hoarse voice: "it's said that people who kiss good morning every day will have the happiest day."

Xiao yuanmu always eats less than song Xuanhe. Recently, he needs to avoid eating because of his injury. Although he doesn't eat much, he is still keen on cooking with his injured leg. His favorite thing to do every day is to watch song Xuanhe finish his cooking, and then boast that it's delicious. At this time, he will say: "I hope I can cook for you all my life."

Maybe because of the injury, he even had less work to deal with, so he went to bed earlier than usual. During this period of time, he would fall asleep with song Xuanhe at the same time. Before they fell asleep, he always looked at Song Xuanhe with his beautiful eyes, and then said with a smile, "it's good to have you."

After spending a few days like this, song Xuan and he once suspected that Louis had read some books to Xiao yuanmu, such as "secrets of love talk" or "how to please your partner". However, they found nothing after searching the whole apartment.

Just before Song Xuan and Xiao yuanmu doubted whether he had changed his nature or was reborn again, Xiao Lin came to the United States from D country.

His health is still not very good, but when he appears in front of outsiders, no one can see the big problem. Without systematic reminder, song Xuanhe can't see his weakness at all.

Xiao Lin came to Xiao yuanmu's apartment alone. There was no Mrs. Xiao and no bodyguard with him. His usual serious face was still serious and his body was still full of momentum.

He first said hello to song Xuanhe and said, "I've heard about you for a long time, Mr. Song. If we have a chance in the future, I hope we can have a chat."

Song Xuanhe nodded with a smile, called Uncle politely, and then waited downstairs.

He thought Xiao Lin would come here specially to talk with Xiao yuanmu for a while. After all, many things happened recently, including the amputation of his little son's legs, the two brothers' different opinions, both claiming that they were framed by each other, and Mrs. Xiao's sudden illness.

However, Xiao Lin went downstairs in less than 15 minutes and came back again. Politely said hello to song Xuanhe and left.

Song Xuan and he watched him enter the elevator, then immediately turned and went upstairs.

In the study, Xiao yuanmu stood by the French window, his back straight and his outline cold. He just looked out of the window with his eyes so low that he seemed to be looking at the ants on the ground, his eyes cold and calm.

This is the look that song Xuan and he haven't seen for a long time. It should be said that this is the look that Xiao yuanmu didn't show in front of him.

Song Xuanhe stood at the door for more than ten seconds, but Xiao yuanmu didn't respond. He could only call him out.

"Xiao yuanmu."

In most cases, when two people face each other alone, song Xuanhe is called Xiao yuanmu's full name, while Xiao yuanmu is completely depending on his mood. Sometimes he is called Xuanhe, sometimes he is called Hebao, but most of the time they are silent gaze. Because of one look, song Xuanhe will find out, and then leave out the address, and they will talk directly.

At this time, hearing song Xuanhe call his full name, Xiao yuanmu's eyes tremble, his eyes covered with black fog recover a little bit, and then his eyes focus on song Xuanhe with light on his back at the door.

After a pause, he asked, "why did you come up here?"

Xiao yuanmu's voice was a little hoarse. It was like someone who hadn't spoken for a long time suddenly uttered his voice. It was like choking for a long time and finally calmed down. But his voice still revealed his emotion.

Almost at the first time, song Xuanhe discovered that Xiao yuanmu was not in the right mood.

When he thought that Xiao Lin seemed to be a little worried before he left, he quickly walked to Xiao yuanmu. Just after two steps, he heard a voice in his mind: "don't go there. 】

before he had time to ask why, song Xuanhe listened to the system and said: "at this time, Xiao yuanmu's emotional value is really very low, but now you have no meaning in the past. Now you can comfort him, but what about 15 days later? Have you forgotten that you are going to leave him in 15 days? Compared with his current mood swings, I think his mood swings will be more serious in more than 10 days. At that time, you can't comfort him. At this time, making him get used to it will help to improve his immunity. 】

after a pause, song Xuan and Wen Yan ignored the system and went on to Xiao yuanmu.

"Don't come here."

Xiao yuanmu turned around and turned his back to song Xuanhe. His voice was a little heavy and still dumb.

"I want to be quiet," he said

This is the first time that Xiao yuanmu refuses his approach. Song Xuanhe thinks in a daze.

The system didn't stop song Xuanhe, but Xiao yuanmu stopped him.

"What happened?" Song Xuanhe stood in the same place for a long time, then asked softly.

"I just want to be quiet for a while." Xiao yuanmu didn't turn around, and his tone was a little tired: "let me be alone for a while, OK?"

Hearing this "OK", song Xuanhe couldn't refuse.

He nodded and realized that Xiao yuanmu couldn't see him. Then he said hello again.After making the sound, song Xuanhe stares at Xiao yuanmu's back, expecting something in his heart. However, Xiao yuanmu doesn't move and doesn't want to turn around.

Song Xuan and his slightly pursed lips tightened, then turned around and walked out step by step.

I don't know why. Before he came to the door, he suddenly remembered a dream that he always repeated these nights.

In my dream, he was still a child. His parents took him out for a picnic. A little girl wanted to fly a kite with him. He chased the little girl away and made people cry.

His mother came and asked him, "why do you want to drive that child away?"

He said, "I don't like her."

My mother disagreed and said, "did my mother tell you to be friendly to your friends?"

"But she is not my friend. I don't know her," he said, pursing his lips as he grasped the kite bigger than him

"Then you can think of her as the new friend you just met." His mother rubbed his head with a smile and said curiously, "but my mother thinks that little girl is very cute. Why don't you like her?"

In his dream, he pursed his lips and replied loudly, "I have someone I like, of course I can't like others."

Mother's expression was very surprised, but her eyes showed a smile: "that baby can tell her mother, who do you like?"

"Xiao yuanmu."

Song Xuanhe wakes up every time he says Xiao yuanmu's name.

It's a dream. In fact, it's one of his few memories with his parents. The difference between memories and dreams is only after his mother asked him why he didn't like the little girl.

In his memory, he answered: because he didn't want anyone to play with his kite, he liked it very much.

In the dream, the answer becomes Xiao yuanmu.

In the dream, after his reply, his mother immediately said something with a smile, but at that time, he was about to wake up and couldn't hear anything clearly.

So in these days, song Xuan and he are thinking about what his mother would say to him if she knew he was with Xiao yuanmu.

He thought for a long time, but he couldn't think of anything, because although his mother's memory was deep, it was too long for him to understand his parents for more than ten years, just like other children.

In his memory, his mother has been gentle and kind, but when he grew up, he knew that most mothers were gentle and kind in front of their children. His few memories could not completely piece together a person's character.

So when he was 18 years old, he went back to the house where he lived with his parents for the first time, and found three diaries in his mother's room, one written when his parents were in love, one during pregnancy, and one about his growth left by his parents after he was born.

In the diary of their parents' love, they wrote about their love, the country and the road they went through, and their feelings for each other.

Mother's pregnancy diary records the surprise from the moment she knew she was pregnant with him to the little things before he was born. Every stroke reveals the expectation and love of a child in a mother's stomach.

His growth diary is full of parents' expectations for him. They have little expectations for him, which is totally different from the expectations of other children's parents who make their children feel pressure. They want him to be happy, kind, brave, never regret, have the ability to love and be loved, and then they can review the country and road they went through when they were in love.

More importantly, they want him to know how much they love him.

Song Xuan and some of them forgot how they felt when they saw these things. However, he firmly remembers that he took these three diaries to his parents' graveyard that day, and then told them that he would live up to their expectations. After he graduated from University, he would review their path and fulfill their wishes.

This is the expectation of his parents and the promise song Xuan and he made on the day of their adulthood.

This commitment, once song Xuanhe's belief, supported his belief of going on alone.

So in the beginning, song Xuanhe had no doubt that he would return to his own world.

Just as time went by, what he firmly believed in began to waver. After that dream, he even thought, if he broke his promise to his parents, would they be disappointed with him? Will understand and bless him, because although he failed to do the last one, he did the one he thought he might never be able to do before - the ability to love and be loved.

Song Xuanhe was at a loss. He didn't know whether "reviewing the path of his parents" was more in line with his parents' expectations, or "the ability to love and be loved" was more in line with his parents' expectations.

These days, he is struggling with these two choices all the time, but when he saw the door, he suddenly remembered what his mother said to him when he was a child. He told his mother that he liked the kite very much, so he didn't want to share it with others.

"Since baby likes the kite so much, will you take good care of it?"He would naturally answer.

His mother became serious and said to him, "Xuanhe, like is a very serious thing. You can be interested in painting, and then put down your brush a few days later. You can be interested in model airplanes, and then put them on the shelf a few days later, but you can't say you like them."

"Like is the expression of your love for a person and a thing, which means that you are willing to give up many things to firmly protect the love you have. Are you willing to give up your model plane, tank and car for the sake of this kite?"

Perhaps frightened by his mother's serious manner, he thought for a long time and finally replied, "No."

"Well, you can't say you like it, baby, but now you don't know what is like. It's normal. My mother just wants to tell you that if one day you meet someone who is willing to give up a lot of things, whether it's people or things, you must persist, because you can get love only if you persist."

"Do you know? Baby, if you can find the things and people you love, you will become a wonderful person. Mom hopes you can be such a person, but you don't need to look for them for mom's expectation, because that's your life. "

It's a long memory. When song Xuanhe remembered his complete memory, his red eyes could not match the speed of turning.

At this moment, he suddenly figured out the problems he had been struggling with before. Compared with his parents' path, they may hope to see him find a lover for his whole life. Because compared with their expectations for him, they always hope that he can bravely decide his own life.

Xiao yuanmu heard the sound of footsteps becoming lighter, heard that the study would be quieter than before after every breath, and the light at the bottom of his eyes was dim.

He suddenly remembered what Xiao Lin asked him:

"do you love song Xuanhe? Does he love you?"

"Are you sure he loves you?"

"Even if you are sure, can you be sure that you will always be together?"

"The Xiao family has no precedent of same-sex partners, and they will not make an exception for you. Those relatives live by the old rules. In order to maintain the old tradition, they can even ignore many things. Can you guarantee that your persistence can protect your lovers?"

"Xiao yuanmu, you are still too young. Do you think you can protect him for a while or for a lifetime?"

"Once you have any accident, song Xuanhe, who will make you unable to leave the children of the Xiao family, will be the target of public criticism. I know that your dispute with your brother is that he is incompetent when he fails, but he is also the Xiao family. To tell you the truth, I had expected that, so I am not disappointed. But you are so disappointed with a man who you are not sure whether you really love you I'm very disappointed that I have to show your weakness to the whole world. "

"Xiao yuanmu, I'm your father. Even if we don't get along much, I know you very well, because you are like me. Ask yourself, do you really think song Xuanhe loves you as much as you love him? If so, why do you have to be so careful around him, as if in a twinkling of an eye you are afraid that someone else will run away and you have no sense of security? "

One by one, Xiao Lin's questions were not answered by Xiao yuanmu, but his heart was not without fluctuations.

It's not because Xiao Lin said that he thinks song Xuanhe doesn't love him, but because he's afraid that he can't protect him.

Xiao yuanmu looked down at his trembling hands. The dark fog shrouded his eyes, and the shadow covered the light in his eyes.

Xiao Lin made a lot of mistakes, but he was right - if anything happened to him, song Xuanhe would definitely be the target of public criticism.

But even so, he also

The distant footsteps suddenly stopped, and the gloomy thoughts in Xiao yuanmu's mind followed the quiet study to press the pause button. He put down his raised hand, and his slender eyelashes trembled slightly, waiting for some sound to make it all return to the original track.

I don't know how long, maybe a few seconds, maybe a few minutes, maybe even longer, Xiao yuanmu heard the sound of footsteps, stepped on the wooden floor, clattering, let him hold his breath.

"Xiao yuanmu." Song Xuan and Qingrun's voice sounded, and Xiao yuanmu subconsciously straightened his back. He said, "did your father say something to you, so you are a little sad now?"

Xiao yuanmu pursed the corners of his mouth, put his hand on the side of his body, and did not speak.

"Didn't you say that nothing I did would make you sad?" Song Xuanhe stepped closer and stood half a step away from Xiao yuanmu, looking at his back: "if you want to be alone, but I don't want you to be alone. You must stay here. Won't you be sad?"

Xiao yuanmu's shaking hand clenched into a fist and answered in a hoarse voice, "No

"Would that be unhappy or angry with me?"

"No

"What if I hold you?" Song Xuanhe stepped forward and encircled him from behind, "will you drive me away?"

Xiao yuanmu's body trembled. After a few seconds, he replied, "No"Not now, or never?"

Song Xuan and his soft chin stick to his shoulder blade. When he talks, his chin shakes slightly. The tremor goes up along his spine and spreads to all sides, and the blood and bone marrow vibrate slightly.

“…… Forever. "

Song Xuanhe chuckled, hugged him and said, "then you can treat me as if I don't exist and continue to be alone."

Xiao yuanmu's hand on his side raised a little, put it down without any trace, and then gave a gentle hum.

Song Xuanhe just hugged him from behind, silent, and then accompanied him.

Standing by the window, Xiao yuanmu suddenly found that a person looking at the street downstairs was totally different from someone behind him looking at the street downstairs.

All kinds of pedestrians from noisy to lively, the old fountain in the Central Park reflects the light in the light, beautiful and warm, in front of the eyes of Y City from boring to beautiful everywhere.

The warm body temperature came from the person behind him, which made Xiao yuanmu very greedy. The shadow of his heart had been dispelled a little bit, but he was reluctant to let song Xuanhe loose. He just wanted to maintain this posture for as long as he could.

There was never a moment when Xiao yuanmu could feel song Xuan and his love for him from the comfort and tranquility in front of him.

Xiao Lin asked him if song Xuanhe loved him as much as he did.

Xiao yuanmu was not touched by his words, because he never felt that only the same amount of love could be together. Whether he loved song Xuan more or song Xuan more, it would not be a problem for him, because he knew that they loved each other, which was enough. If he wanted to pursue more, he would become greedy.

Greed will never come to a good end. This is what Xiao yuanmu knew before his first rebirth. He will not do worse after his second rebirth.

But when song Xuan held him for a moment, he suddenly felt that sometimes greed might not be bad.

For example, now, needless to say, he knows song Xuan and loves him.

Compared with Xiao Lin's assumptions about psychological warfare, company at the moment is more important than anything else.

However, he was suddenly not so sure whether he could accompany song Xuan for as long as he expected.

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