59 Wanted

"Well?" Dreth asked.

Tybalt looked up from where he was kneeling, next to the prone body of Adel, and shook his head. "Dead," he said. "A lucky shot by some sort of magic bolt. She must have been caught by surprise, otherwise her wards would have blocked the attack. They didn't appear to be very good."

"Damn. There goes my information." Dreth frowned.

Tybalt sighed and stood up. "And there goes a good friend of mine." He looked wistful for a moment. "Ah well, she had a good run."

"Look what we found!"

They looked over to where the zombies were emerging from the undergrowth. They were carrying a struggling shape between them, Sprat being half dragged behind. "It's so fresh it's still wriggling!" exclaimed Percy happily.

The undead staggered over to them and dumped the form on the floor, where it protested loudly.

"A Halfling," said Dreth, poking the complaining shape with his foot. "And a wizard at that. What have you to say for yourself mage? Speak up now, before I let my friends have an early supper."

"Don't eat me! Please don't eat me!" The small wizard cowered on the floor, hands over his face. "I'm too bony! I'll make you sick!"

"Pah. No wonder we took them out so easily," said Tybalt. "They're amateurs. Still wet behind the pears."

"Ears," Dreth correctly absently. "What were you doing here?" he asked the small form again.

"We…we were after the reward," said the Halfling.

"What reward?"

The wizard reached slowly into his robes and pulled out a sheet of parchment. Percy snatched it off him and looked at it. "It's some kind of riddle," he said.

"You're holding it upside down dummy," said Cuthbert. "Here, give me that." He took the paper and read out loud, tracing the text with his finger.

"Dead or Alive or Neither!" he said. "2000 Golden Florins for the person/being who kills/captures or otherwise disposes of: 'Dreth.' Last seen in this area!" Cuthbert looked up. "Then there's a general description."

"Is there a reward for us too?" asked Percy.

Cuthbert scanned the fine print and shook his head. "Only mentions us in passing," he said.

"Bah. I'm so sick of this zombie prejudice." His friend crossed his arms and scowled.

"Come on," Dreth said. "We're wasting time. Kill this Halfling and then let's move on."

"Wait! You can't kill me!" the wizard shouted as Cuthbert grinned and reached for him.

"Don't worry, you're in good hands," replied the zombie. "I have done this before you know. It will only hurt for three or four minutes."

"No! I mean, the curse!"

Cuthbert hesitated. "What curse?"

"My last spell. I cast it at Dreth, if you kill me you'll never be able to reverse it!"

Everyone looked at Dreth, who stepped back a pace. He was suddenly aware of a strange feeling. "What?" he asked. "What is it? What can you see?"

"Erm," said Percy. "I don't quite know how to put this…"

"There's a monkey on your back!" Cuthbert interrupted, pointing.

"What! Where?" Dreth turned in circles, like a dog chasing his own tail. "I can't see it!"

"I'm on your back, of course you can't see me," a new voice said next to his ear. "Actually, your shoulder to be precise. And I'm not a monkey you piece of rotting meat, I'm a devil!"

Dreth flailed his arms about, trying to hit the source of the voice, but failed to connect.

"Your hand went right through it," said Percy.

"That's right zombie," the voice said again, "he can't touch me. It's part of the curse you see?"

Dreth gave up trying to hit the thing, and turned to the Halfling. "You!" He pointed a finger at the little wizard. "Undo your magic! Get this off me."

"I…I don't know how," came the reply.

"Well then, you're no use to us are you?"

"But I can find out! I'll have to do research, but I���m sure I can!" the mage blurted out quickly.

"He'll fail. He only managed to cast me because he was so scared he put all his power into it. Desperation you see?" The devil hopped onto the ground next to the wizard, allowing Dreth to see him for the first time.

It appeared to be a proper devil alright, albeit in miniature. Standing about knee high, it had the traditional red skin, horns, tail, even a small pitchfork. It was naked too, with an overly large phallus hanging down obscenely between its legs. It saw Dreth looking and winked at him.

"The lady devil's like me a lot," he said. "Let's face it, size does matter eh? Only those with small ones say otherwise."

Dreth didn't answer, but removed Darkblood from its sheath and sliced at the thing. The devil simply stood there and laughed as the sword passed harmlessly through it. "Oh, this is going to be fun!" It leaped back up to its spot on Dreth's shoulders. "You can't harm me! I'm your curse, well, your new curse. Building up quite a collection aren't we?" It sniggered.

With some effort Dreth managed to resist swiping at his own head with Darkblood. He had enough problems without lopping off parts of his own anatomy.

"Get off me!" he shouted.

"Ha! You have to be kidding! Do you know how long it's been since I was up on the mortal plain? Oh no, I think I'll hang around a while, this looks like a fun group you have here. Let's see, two walking corpses, three if you include the small one with harvested parts. One Halfling who pretends to be a wizard, a rogue who's on the run and…" The devil stopped suddenly, and Dreth thought he heard it gasp. "And her. Oh boy, this is going to be more interesting than I thought!"

"Okay, look, what do you want?" asked Dreth. "I'm sure we can reach a deal. What's your name anyway?"

The devil scuttled down his arm and waved a finger at him. "Oh no! I'm not falling for that one! I give you my name, you can control me. It's not going to happen." It crossed its arms.

Dreth shook his hand experimentally. The Devil remained perched on it as if it were glued there.

"As for what I want, well…" It scampered up and gave Dreth an insubstantial kiss on the nose. "I want to be your friend. I'm lonely. You'll be my friend won't you?" It batted its eyes, which suddenly sprouted long eyelashes.

"Oh for Dreg's sake," said Dreth, shaking his head.

"That's the spirit! Resign yourself to me. I mean, you're immortal right?" The devil disappeared round Dreth's back again. "Looks like we're going to be chums for a looooong time. You'll grow to like me in time. Or should that be 'hate' me? I always get those two confused."

"Wizard! If you don't get this thing off me, I'm going to pull your legs off and feed them to you!" Dreth glowered at the Halfling. "What do they call you anyway?"

"I…I'm Frumble".

Dreth glared at him a moment longer, and then up at the rest of the group. "Come on," he snapped. "We need to get moving. No doubt others are looking for us. Cuthbert, tie the wizard up and watch him closely. If he tries anything you can eat a foot."

"Yummy." Cuthbert rubbed his hands together and cast about for some rope.

"Oh, travel, what excitement," his new curse said. "Where are we going?"

Dreth gritted his teeth. "We have an oracle to find."