Chapter 91 - Therapist Meeting

The following day, Long Mei had her first meeting with a therapist. 

It was to be a short session to get a feel for the therapist and see if Long Mei was comfortable enough to proceed with future sessions. 

Long Mei stepped into the neat and quiet clinic, approaching the front desk when the receptionist greeted her, escorting her to Dr. Yu's office. 

Before Long Mei knocked on the door, Dr. Yu had already opened it, wearing a gentle smile on her face. "Miss Long," she greeted. "I looked forward to meeting you." 

Long Mei shook her hand. "Hello, Dr. Yu," she responded. 

"Come on in," the psychologist said, allowing her inside. Long Mei followed cautiously and nervously. Dr. Yu seemed to pick up on her body language, so Long Mei tried to hide her hands. The psychologist only smiled and said, "You can have a seat, Miss Long." 

Long Mei sat on the stark white couch comfortably. She grabbed a pillow and placed it over her lap to ease her nerves. 

Dr. Yu sat across from her within a close distance. "Miss Long, you're safe in here, and if you need anything, I will gladly provide that for you. Today, you don't have to rush to open up about anything. We can start little by little until you feel comfortable with whatever you need to share. Does that seem fine with you?"

"And this stays in this room?"

"You have my word," she responded. "I have little to gain from compromising my career."

Long Mei believed that, even if she had little trust in people, she had to work on that. 

"Since it was Mr. Jin Qing who contacted me, he told me a little about you, but I want to hear it from you such as what you are like, who you surround yourself with, your environment. You can begin slow by introducing yourself."

Long Mei did not know what to say. Her mind became blank. She knew she had to be honest, but Long Mei spent years pretending to be something she was not. She did not realize being herself would be so hard. 

"Take a breath," Dr. Yu said. 

Long Mei sucked in a breath and exhaled. The psychologist did it with her, a friendly grin planted on her face. 

"My name is Long Mei. I am 22 years old, and I love to model." 

"Do you feel like modelling helps you express yourself?" she questioned. 

Long Mei nodded. "It feels liberating. When I wear clothes or less of it, I feel comfortable in my skin, like I own my body and no one else does." 

Dr. Yu glanced at Long Mei as if she was holding back on questioning her further. Long Mei could tell she was longing to ask if there was something deeper, but Long Mei was not ready to answer it, so her therapist moved on for now. 

"And what about your family? Do you have a close relationship with any of them?"

Long Mei thought about it, pondering over the answer. 

She took another breath. "Truthfully, I love my family. I love my parents. My brothers and my sister, but I cannot say I have a close relationship with them. My oldest brother, Yat-sen, well, he always had Xia. The twins had each other. They all had someone while I stood out, and I don't blame them. I had nothing to offer. My older siblings understood each other. They were there for each other, and they were very much alike…I was just different." 

"Do you wish to have a close relationship with them?" Dr. Yu questioned. 

Long Mei frowned. "Yes, but have you seen them? The four of them always had their own stuff to figure out; they all have their own lives. Perhaps if we had not been the children of Long Jie, things could be different." 

"And what is your relationship with your parents like? Your mother and father?"

"Normal, I suppose. My parents care about me, they do, but they were less attentive with me than they were with the others." 

Dr. Yu nodded as if she was assessing her mentally. "And how did that make you feel?"

Long Mei's throat bobbed. "Ignored," she began to say, soft-spoken. "At first, I thought it was great. My parents let me experience things young. I never had a rebellious phase. They let me do whatever I wanted without any structure. By the time I was 15, everyone had already begun treating me like an adult. I thought that was what I wanted, and then I got older and realized I had grown up too quickly. I realized I wanted to be scolded. I wanted to have my parents be frantic over something I did. I did not want them to be controlling, but I also did not want them to be so carefree." 

"So, what would you say your relationship with your family is as of now?"

"A bit distant," Long Mei answered honestly, "but I know they are trying harder. All of them are. I've just been ignoring them." 

"Do you know why?"

"I need time," Long Mei responded, "and space. I know their intentions are good, but I need to figure things out first and then perhaps we'll all finally get to be together in the way I longed for." 

Dr. Yu smiled. "And what about your relationships with people outside your family? Do you have anyone?"

Long Mei thought about it. "I don't have many friends, not anymore. But there's Luo Nuying and Jin Qing…"

"Luo Nuying. Who are they to you?"

"She's my friend." 

"Jin Qing?"

"He's my…" Long Mei did not know how to answer that.  "He's also my friend. But he's been there for me as a companion as of late."

"Can you elaborate?"

Long Mei swallowed. "I've known him for a long time. At first, it was under unfriendly circumstances, but that's because I did not bother to get to know him at the time. I only listened to the bad things people said about him, and I believed them. But now...I don't believe it anymore."

"Why is that?"

"Jin Qing spent months trying to find information about my accident. He wanted to help me even while I was unconscious. He saved my family from a scandal. He helps me sleep. He wanted me to find help because…"

"Go on," Dr. Yu said. 

"Because I think he cares. Because I don't think he likes watching me suffer, even in the silence." 

"Then—" Dr. Yu began but was caught off.

"Sorry, Dr. Yu. I have to go," Long Mei said, standing up frantically. 

"All right. I understand things are racing through your mind right now, but will I see you again?"

"Yes," Long Mei responded. "Thank you for your help for today, Dr. Yu. I will see you soon."

"Take care," Dr. Yu said as Long Mei reached for the door. 

She nearly sprung out when Jin Qing pulled her from behind with wide eyes. "Are you all right?" he asked worryingly. 

"I thought you went home?" Long Mei questioned. 

"No, I waited for you."

Something warm burst in her chest. She did not expect to see Jin Qing so suddenly. The reason why she stormed out of her therapist's office suddenly was because she was thinking of him. But now, he was standing before her with concern etched on his face. 

"We should head back. Your family's dinner is happening tonight." 

"My relative's dinner," he corrected her gently.

Long Mei smiled. "Sorry, I meant relatives. The people you share blood with but have no connection to." 

"Precisely. I have no family," he reminded her. 

Long Mei had an overwhelming desire to tell him he had her.