Chapter 90 - Did This For Her

Long Mei's lips parted. "Is that what you have been doing all day?"

Jin Qing tilted his head. "Yes." 

Her heart made an irregular beat. He did this for her? She swallowed. 

"So, is that a yes?" Jin Qing asked. 

Long Mei smiled warmly. "Yes, you can contact them, but only on the condition that you seek therapy too." 

"I don't need a therapist," he countered, deadpanned. 

Long Mei pursed her lips, edging toward his desk. "Well, if you don't need a therapist, then I don't need one either." 

Jin Qing stared at her, looking into her eyes. What she saw in them was something dark and broken. "So, what you are saying is that if I go to therapy, that means you will go too and seek help?" he asked. 

"Yes," she answered. 

Jin Qing sighed. "Then I suppose we will both be going."

Long Mei's lips curved triumphantly. "I suppose so." 

Before he contacted the therapists he researched, Jin Qing ate the dinner Long Mei made and then he picked two, one for each, therapist to meet with. 

Afterward, Long Mei prepared for bed alone and slid beneath the covers. She could not immediately fall asleep, so she watched a movie. The movie did not help or seduce her into a slumber, so she turned off the television screen and thought about how her first therapy session might go. 

She pondered over what she might have to share. She never opened up to what her relationship with Jin Hu was like, even to herself. 

On the outside, they seemed like the perfect, well-put-together couple, but the reality was far from it. 

Why didn't she leave him?

Well, the truth was more complicated, and sometimes there was no answer, and women did not have to explain themselves if they did not want to. 

Still, Long Mei knew she had to try. She wanted to get better. She wanted to live a life that did not worry her friends or family, where she did not have to keep secrets from them. 

Long Mei kept flipping over on the bed, looking for a comfortable position. She was scared. Scared that she'd be found again. That someone would come to finish the job. That her fate will end up like Jin Hu's. Her anxiety heightened, her chest rising and falling hard, her throat closing up. 

She jumped from the bed, bolting out of the door when she crashed into Jin Qing by the threshold, hard. She grabbed onto him like a buoy, her lifesaver over a depthless sea. She was panting, but her breathing calmed as he rubbed her back, soothing her. "Mei," he called her name gently. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Long Mei repeated between each breath. 

Jin Qing could see how distraught she was, and it pained him. "There's nothing for you to apologize for," he said. 

Long Mei held onto him tighter. 

Jin Qing then lifted her, wrapping her legs around his waist, and she held onto him as he carried her to the bed. 

He then put her down gently beneath the covers before he slipped in next to her. 

"You're staying?" she asked softly. 

Their eyes met. Jin Qing gave her a slow nod. "I'll be right here." 

Long Mei released a breath. She felt comfortable, safer when she was not alone. She then laid the side of her body against the mattress, staring at Jin Qing. He looked at her, nothing said between them. 

"I have to meet with my father soon," he told her, desponded. 

Long Mei knew the two did not have a good relationship. Jin Hu did not have a good relationship with his father either. The two brothers could have grown up and bonded over it. But instead, Jin Hu thought making Jin Qing's life hard would win the approval and praise of their father. And as a result, Jin Qing fought back, and the two never met eye to eye. Things would have been a lot more different if they realized it was their shitty father to blame. 

"Do you want me to come with you?" Long Mei questioned. 

Jin Qing thought about it. His expression told her yes. He wanted her to come with him; he did not want to be alone. The other part of his expression warned her that it was not a good idea. 

"My father might make you feel unwelcomed, considering…" her past relationship with his other son. And she'd have to pretend she was in a relationship with Jin Qing in front of him. 

"You should not worry about your father's opinion of me," Long Mei began. "Because I don't care what he thinks about me…of us." 

"It's easier to say that, but my father has a way of..." he looked at her. "Making you feel like shit about yourself." 

Long Mei smiled sadly. "I've experienced feeling bad about myself plenty in my life," Long Mei confessed. "I watched my brother and sister grow to be the strongest people I've ever seen. Nothing fazes them. They will do anything for themselves and for the people they love. The twins are the smartest people I've ever encountered. Long Kun makes it known he's intelligent. Long Ken pretends not to be, but he is. And then there was me…many wondered what I'd do until I said modelling. My family are very supportive, but still, it feels like I haven't lived up to any of them." 

"And you don't have to," Jin Qing replied. "Does it make you happy?" 

Long Mei smiled. "It does make me happy. I can't see myself doing anything else, and I learned that I really don't give a shit of what people think of me." 

It was Jin Qing's turn to smile. "Then will you come with me to have the most uncomfortable dinner of your life with my blood relatives?" 

Long Mei's grin widened. "It was like I was born to do it." 

Jin Qing gazed at her with heavy lids. She could tell Jin Qing was tired, but like her, he could not fall asleep. "Can you teach me more Russian?" 

He obliged.