104 CHAPTER 103

"No way" Matt hissed. The little bench whined as he slouched down heavily on them. The looks on Pinna's face made him want to wax into his own skin. Too much desperation. Even now he knew that there was nothing he could do to talk her out of it. It all looked familiar, and it angered him yet again that he could do nothing to handle the situation. First, it had been Jeff and Ema. This was how they had left to Balom. They had both stupidly agreed on leaving the academy and that was the last time he had seen them. Ham was also gone. And now Pinna is trying to leave too. Must all his friends die and leave him in this crumbling word? 

"It is the only way Matt, the only way to bring Ham back," Pinna said, coming to stand beside him. 

He looked into those emerald green eyes of hers when she placed her hands on his shoulders. Those looks made his stomach churned. It made him helpless, and he hated that he was helpless. He hated that she was telling the truth and that he needed to let her go or Ham would be gone forever.

"Pinna," He tried to say, but his words betrayed him. They had wavered, revealing the anger and the helplessness that was engulfing him at the moment.

"Please, Matt," She whispered and squeezed his shoulders gently. Those hands of hers were tender and warm. For some passing moment, he felt at ease and something he couldn't put into words passed from the hands to his stomach. He wished he could explain them in words 

"It is the only way," Pinna finished and Matt found himself frowning. Whatever be the feeling that had been in his stomach was gone. It was as if they never there.

I know, Pe. But it is hard to accept it. He wanted to say, but the words would not form. He bit his under lips and stroked his blonde hair. Jeff and Ema had been right too, stupid as it sounds. Reporting to Balom had been the right call. But that right call had stolen them away from him. He had searched for them after graduation. For two years he had searched, but there had been no trace. Even Zone-3 seemed to be a ghost name. He had searched for that as well but had not found it or. It was as if Jeff and Ema never existed. And now Pinna was trying to take the same course. 

"Is it?" It was Chris who spoke. Those bulging eyes of his had narrowed, looking dark as they stared at Fabian, who was still standing beside Nebula. "Or is he trying to play some kind of tricks here,"

Fabian shook his head in denial.

"No tricks, Christy. No tricks. It is the truth. Nebula has not been successfully tested on anyone, but it is the only chance you have if you are to save your friend." 

The crease on the man's face deepened. He sounded tired and somewhat sad. Maybe his argument with Chris was taking its toll on him or something else, which Matt did not know. They held too many secrets for his liking. 

Chris puffed the frustration from his lips as he leaned on the table, resting his chin on his right palms. His eyes did not leave Fabian for once. They continued to burn darkly, as though they knew the sins of the older man and were about to expose them to the world.

"I don't want to lose you too, Pe," Matt mumbled, still holding that gaze with Pinna. The trouble in them had not ebbed away instead, they were now replaced by sadness and fear. 

"I wouldn't consider it if it wasn't urgent. This is our only chance, Matt. This is the only chance I have to see him again, to bring him back."

"But it is not safe. This Nebula of a machine has not been tested on anyone before. Is that what you want to risk your life on?"

"Hmm," Was all Pinna said. She closed her eyes and took a long breath in and then out.

"Tell me, Matt," She said as she opened her eyes, squeezing his shoulders more gently, "If you had the opportunity to bring her back, will you hesitate for a moment? Will you back down because the only machine that will bring her back had not been tested successfully on anyone?" 

Matt shifted his weight on the chair. Until that moment, he had not considered it that way. If he had the opportunity to bring Sandra back? Oh, he would give his life for hers. He would do everything within his power to bring her back to his side again. Pinna loved Ham. It was an obvious fact. How long she had loved him was a different mystery on its own. She had not revealed her intention to Ham, as far as Matt could tell. And Ham, on the other hand, was trying to ignore her or was too busy to notice. And now she is ready to do everything to bring him back, just as he would do everything to bring Sandra back.

"But—wi—But" Matt stammered, not knowing the right words to say at the moment. He breathed in and out and was glad when his troubled breast eased at last. He could think again, but the right thought was not coming his way at the moment.

"Will Ham have wanted that?" His question made Pinna backed away for some passing moment, "Will Ham want you to kill yourself just to save him?"

Silence passed for some time. It was difficult to tell how long. The boiling liquid in the cylinder was the only noise that seemed to disturb the serenity hanging on the rosy air.

"What Ham would have wanted does not really matter at the moment." Pinna hissed and looked away, "He is still alive, trapped in a different frequency and unable to get out. I will do everything within my power to save him. I will give my life for him." She reverted her gaze to Matt, and they held it for a long time.

"Will you not give your life for him too, Matt?"

"Ah," Matt scowled at her question, "I will, Pe. He is my friend too. That's why I am sorry about this,"

"About what?" 

Matt did not answer. Instead, he drove the syringe into her neck and pushed the plunger, holding them firmly until the sedative had all disappeared from the plunger into her body.

"You—

Pinna wanted to say, but the drug had already hit her system and she feels. But Matt had anticipated that. He caught her right before she was halfway to the floor.

"I am sorry, Pe." He said as he laid her gently on the floor, "But I cannot lose you too." 

"What are you doing?" Fabian asked, looking from one boy to the next.

"The best thing and the right thing," Chris said. 

They had planned it together. This was not the first time Chris was seeing Nebula. He had seen the machine once and had heard from his uncle back when he was still little, how the machine works. But Matt had told him to keep it a secret from Pinna. Even though he had been wrong about the way they would have to save Ham, he had been right that one of them might have to risk their lives in the process. And after much debate with Chris, they had jumped to the conclusion that the life to be risked, should need be, and must be his.

"So, Mr. Crux" Matt said, and he walked up to his feet, satisfied that Pinna would not stand on his way now, "How do we proceed,"

Fabian eyes went back at Pinna, whose breathing was steady as they raised and fall. She was fast asleep. A peaceful sleep. The question in his eyes said that he might argue with them. But they disappeared when he moved towards the wall socket.

"I understand," He said, "Playing the big brother, right?" 

Matt knew the question was directed at him, but he chose not to reply. His eyes went back to Pinna. She looked beautiful in her sleep. Even though closed, those bulging eyes of hers seemed to cover her skull. He had not seen her sleep before. So fragile and quiet. He had not even seen her this calm before. There are a lot of things he had not seen in the girl before. Perhaps events were created to bring out the part of a person that you have never known.

"It was the right thing," Chris said, tapping his shoulders gently.

"I know," Matt said, "But, why am I feeling guilty about it?"

"Well," Chris shrugged, "Maybe because a part of you still wants to give her the opportunity to this by herself. But want benefit will that be?"

Matt nodded. Chris was right. A part of him would never have wanted anyone to do this to him if he happened to be in Pinna's shoes. But it is for the best.

"It is ready," Fabian said as a humming sound started echoing in the room.