12 Chapter 12

Where was I? I try to look around, but my body won't will me to. It was a fact that I wasn't dead for sure. As the pain was very sharp along my ribs. I try to sit up, but I get dizzy. "Easy" as a figure comes through the door. Wait a minute is that "Lucas?"

"I'm glad you can now recognize my voice." As I see his silhouette. "What happened?" he takes a pillow and he elevates me with it. After some time, Lucas had told me everything that had happened to me.

The more he explains the more everything comes back to my to mind. I can't help but to clench my fists.

"Why didn't you just leave me to die?" as I try to stop the trembling.

"Because I love you Olivia."

I know I should be grateful that Lucas had saved me, and I knew him but it kind of stressed me out that I was married to him. I was now bound to him. I was more indebted to him. Khloe would pay for everything that they had done to me. When I got better, I would seek her out and of course I would find someone strong enough to square up with her boyfriend. I would get my money that I had worked so hard to obtain.

I had planned on leaving him soon before this incident had occurred. I would compensate him for everything and then leave.

I would get a divorce eventually. He wanted something that I couldn't give to him and that was love. If it were another man, I could have acted my way out of this but no he was different and no matter how much I tried to unravel him it seemed almost impossible.

I shouldn't be mean to him as my life was in his hands. I couldn't even do anything. Not even the basics. I can play whatever part he wants me to. I can act the part of a grateful wife if that's what he wants.

"I bought you food" I turn and find Lucas sitting on the side of the bed. He spoons some soup into my mouth and it melts right in. When was the last time did, I have a meal? When he is done feeding me, he takes the plate to the kitchen.

"Did you drive us home?" when he comes back. "Yes, you got discharged but you kept on falling asleep. You were asleep during the whole ride to the farm."

"Farm? What do you mean by farm? Where are we?"

"We are by my farm. I thought it would be better if we moved here and get some country side fresh air."

"How far are we from town?"

"Very far Olivia. So don't worry we are safe here. I will show you around when you get better."

Worried? What the hell? I don't want to be at some farm with a guy I met just now! This would make it a whole lot harder to leave! Calm down Olivia.

"I didn't know that you had a farm?"

"It's because you have never asked. I have always planned to move here, and I have everything that I need with me and I knew it was time."

I start to feel dizzy. I feel myself being lowered onto the bed. "Lie down you have been up for way longer than you should have been." I don't fight him on it as I am too tired, and I would think about this tomorrow as I let myself slip into darkness.

I had tried to not let it bother me the way Olivia had looked so done at the fact that we were at the farm. Surely, she would warm up to me. I wanted us to be somewhere with fresh air.

A new start is what she needed. Also a place where she could be safe. Yet my heart felt very heavy when I had seen her fists clenched. Lord I pray that she warms up to me.

Days pass and it is very hard to communicate with her. She doesn't say very much. It seems as if she is in her own world. She was healing nicely.

She was looking a bit better than when she got here.

I always leave her at a certain time so that I can go paint. The one thing that bothered me was the fact that she bottled up what had happened that day. She didn't let it out, I had assumed what had happened on that day but I couldn't be fully sure. If she wanted to tell me should at her own accordance.

I needed to show her that she could trust me and tell me anything. But that would take time. I would wait for her heart to soften so that she could let me in.

I come back at lunch time and I find her sitting upright. I don't think she even notices me.

"I'm bored and I can't stand this. Can I go outside or do something at least?"

"Okay we can have lunch outside." As I am shocked that she actually did notice when I came back.

When I finish setting up food outside, I come back inside and help out the bed. "I can walk on my own you know." As she pushes my arm away. We get to the front porch where the table is set up. I open her chair for her and she sits down.

"This feels so much better than being cooped up in the house." As I take my surroundings in. There is a dust road and a forest. It looked very calm and peaceful. It was as if we where in the middle of nowhere.

"Do we even have any neighbours?"

"Not that I know of. I haven't been here much but that's going to change now."

My only source of companionship was him?

"I guess it's just the two of us" as I sigh.

"Yes and we are going to get to know each other."

"Oh I am so excited to get to know you" as I don't try to hide my sarcasm. Which he ignores as he carries on dishing up food for us.

I take a sip of the orange juice and it tastes so fresh. "You seem to be enjoying the juice." As he smiles at me. "It tastes nice" as I look away. I wasn't going to admit that this the best orange juice that I ever had.

"When you are up to it, I will teach you how to make it. It is simple"

"You made it yourself?"

"Yes. There are about five orange trees up there and they make very sweet oranges." I wasn't going to lie I was a bit shocked to know that we had an orange tree. I had never seen one before.

"How do you water them?"

"There is a stream up there and there is also an irrigation set up."

"Oh okay"

"We can take a walk when you are feeling much better."

"Whatever you say."

The fresh air was truly refreshing. It felt nice to sit and to forget the other worries that I had. "Try some." I turn and I find that he has dished up the food. I take a bite and I must say he always has been a great cook.

"Do you like it" as he looks at me with hopeful eyes. "Yes I do." as I scuff down the rest of my food. "I hope you are not full because I have some dessert." I look and its chocolate cake. How could I resist such a delicacy?

I scoop a piece and fork it into my mouth. This food was way much better than the food that I used to eat. I couldn't afford delicacies such as this because I was on a tight budget. Thinking that Khloe and I would save up the money and leave. But I was stupid enough to believe her. she was always planning on something else from the get-go when I think about it.

"Don't you like it?" as I am bought back to reality by his voice.

"No I do." As I fork another spoonful into my mouth. It feels as if I am swallowing my anger with it. I sit back and let the sun hit my face.

I felt a bit drowsy, that's what happened when I ate too much. What automatically came next was a nap. I close my eyes and I drift off.

I open them again and the sun has lowered. I turn to look for Lucas and there he is with paint brushes and he is painting.

"What are you doing?" as I stretch.

"You looked peaceful whilst you were sleeping so I decided to paint you."

"You are painting me?" as I get up and I go stand behind him. I look at the painting and it is beautiful. He had painted me so beautifully. I looked so peaceful and innocent. Which was completely false I didn't deceive to be drawn like that because I was far too tainted by this world to be seen in this manner.

I turn away, "Don't you like it?" as he grabs my hand which stops me from turning away. "Fine how do you feel about it?"

"I don't know."

"Fine what was the first thing that came into mind when you saw the painting." And I can see that he really wants an answer.

"I don't feel anything."

"Why don't you?" as he seems genuinely concerned. "I'm just used to not feeling."

as I sigh.

He gets up and stands in front of me "It's going to take time."

"I don't want to feel." As it just bursts out of me.

"Why Olivia don't you want to?" as he searches my face. "I don't know. "It just felt suffocating feeling. And I didn't like it at all. Feeling nothing is great and do you know why it is?"

He looks at me, waiting for me to carry on. "No-one can hurt you when you don't feel."

"But aren't you hurting yourself?"

"How can I hurt myself more?" as I try to not be defensive.

"Well feeling is all not bad you know. You are denying yourself love, happiness and all these wonderful things."

"Its because you look at the other side where its just all rainbows and sunshine. Well life isn't that way, if you don't protect yourself no one else will."

"That's true, you do need to protect yourself from the wrong people. With the right people you don't have to put up walls and struggle by yourself."

"Well I prefer it like that! And soon you will see that I am not the type of person you think I am."

"You are right, Olivia. I think you are going to be way better than I expected you to be. I can't wait to learn new things about you."

"Well you are going to be disappointed because there is not much to learn about me. What you see is what you get."

His hand went on my shoulder, but it was light and not meant to hurt me. "I think there is a greater deal to know about you. I even think there are some parts of you that are left undiscovered and we will unfold them together."

"You have very high hopes of me I see."

"I do" as he smiles at me wryly.

His hand slid down my arm as he held my hand. He starts to play with the ring. "It suits you well"

"What does?"

"Being my wife" as a goofy smile comes on his face.

"I don't think I agree. We haven't been married for that long."

"I know but it feels right living with you this way."

He better not get used to living with me because I was planning on leaving eventually. I had my plans in life and this wasn't it. I would have to pretend and endure it till I got back to my own feet. Then I would leave and never look back.

"What are you thinking about."

"Nothing"

"You always say that Olivia, but I can tell that you are in a different place at times. You are here but you are actually not here."

Why did he have to analyse me?

"I will try more to be here" as I bat my eye lashes at him. I stop and turn my face away when I remember that I must look horrible because of all the bruises on my face. I must look really gross.

He turns my face back and he places a kiss on my cheek. How could he stand me when I looked like this? Don't overthink, don't overthink Olivia!

I look up and he is looking at me so…sweetly.