7 Where is this?

I suddenly woke up with my left cheek a bit numb. It took me awhile to understand what happened.

"I'm so sorry, you wouldn't wake up so…" said Kali a bit timidly.

I sighed.

"It's alright."

(EA) NO IT IS NOT. WHILE YOU MIGHT NOT FEEL A THING. I FELT A LOT. A-L-O-T.

It does hurt to be honest.

I looked around and froze. Instead of a gloomy cave setting, we were somehow surrounded by green grass that came up to our ankles and there were some weird trees that I couldn't recognize in the distance. But the most unnerving fact was that there were two suns in the sky, one was white, another was a blue so dark, it looked black.

This was not our world.

What the fuck?

I glanced at the others, and they stared back at me with a grim smile.

"... what is this place?"

"I don't know but it definitely isn't earth," answered James.

I stared at James almost speechless.

"NO WAY, DID YOU FIGURE THAT OUT BY YOURSELF? HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU FIGURE THAT OUT SHERLOCK?"

"Calm down Ark, there's no need to panic," Coach said.

"NO NEED TO PANIC? NO NEED TO PANIC! THERE'S EVERY REASON TO PANIC!!! WERE IN A DIFFERENT WORLD FOR GOD'S SAKE! DO YOU THINK I CAN BE CALM? DO YOU-!"

Before I could finish, I was hit on the head and dropped to the floor. Groaning, I tried to organize my thoughts on the floor.

"Dude, did you just get wasted by a girl?"

James said while laughing.

"Shut up dumbass," I said. I glanced at Kali pitifully, she was holding a thick book covered in blood (my imagination).

(EA) Not your imagination, I see it too.

"Why Kali, why?"

Kali glanced at me with an indifferent look.

"I must purge idiots with my holy weapon."

(EA) Don't hit me, hit him. He is the idiot not me.

We are connected you dumbass.

(EA) Shit. Don't hit him. He is smart like me.

"... so you're hitting me with knowledge?"

(EA) ...Never mind. Kill him, he deserves it.

Kali ignored my horrible attempt at a joke and started to chant.

"Now disperse, evil demons and begone at the holy dictionary of knowledge…"

"HELP ME!!!!!" I desperately glanced at the others but they smiled before turning away. James was still laughing his butt off.

(EA) I'm going to kill you later.

"SPECIAL SKILL: DICTIONARY STRIKE!!!"

"N-NOOO, MERCYYY!!!"

(EA) AAAAAHHHHHHGG!!!

Everyone ignored the sounds of a pig being slaughtered and talked among themselves while one person was laughing on the floor like a maniac.

"Ok, let's get back to focus," James said with a twinkle of laughter in his eyes.

"Shut the hell up you hypocrite," I glared.

"You're not the one who was hit with knowledge the hard way."

"How does it feel to be hit on by a girl."

(EA) As much as the amount of pain you're going to feel when I get out.

As me and James bickered, Kali neared holding her weapon of destruction.

"Shut the hell up you dimwits."

"YES MA'AM!!!"

(EA) No, fuck you evil demoness.

Coach smiled wryly.

"Ok, let's get back to business. This place… what exactly is this place."

We glanced around once more and saw the unidentifiable plants and two suns.

"So… let's assume that we are in a different world… how did we get here? Where is the cave we came out of? And finally, what the hell is this place?"

"Should we explore Coach?"

"Using logic, we should explore but we don't know what's out there…"

"We will have to find water and food soon, considering our lack of water and unpreparedness…"

"No meed phur phood…" James joined in with something in his mouth.

"Yes, the food is a problem but at least we have water…"

"We could always try the weird tree and see if they have edible fruit-..."

Coach and I immediately stopped conversing and stared at James with gaping mouths, while James just stared at us clueless as a newborn baby.

"Fhut?"

"...are you eating something?"

"Yus."

"... where did you get it?"

James swallowed before answering.

"The tree. Why?"

(EA) ...This idiot.

Oh my fucking god, where were his teachers when he grew up?

Coach and I stood there gaping at the lesser intelligent being with amazement. When I regained control of my disbelief, I stared at James.

"Would you eat a package of white stuff that was on the floor?"

James looked at me like I was stupid.

"Who eats off the floor?"

"... has it occurred to you that it might be poisonous?"

"What the white package?"

I glared at the half eaten fruit in his hand. James looked at his hand and back at me a few times before an understanding look surfaced on his face. Then it was quickly replaced by terror.

"SHIT, AM I GOING DIE?"

I glanced at the terrorized monkey with a gaze of pity.

"At least you can be the test subject."

James looked at me with horror.

"What do you mean test subject?"

"If you die, we don't eat, if you don't then we eat."

"I DON'T WANT TO BE A GUINEA PIG!"

"Well who told you to eat the fruit."

"NOOOOOO!"

"Rest in peace."

As I was about to walk away, a heavy book landed on my head, again. I pitifully gazed at Kali who had a dictionary in her hand.

"Why?"

She indifferently replied.

"Save him."

"But he didn't save me from yo-"

I tried to shut my mouth but it was too late.

"Save you from who?"

She said with a scary smile.

(EA) She… is a demon. No the queen of demons.

I glared at James and pulled him to his feet.

"This is going to hurt."

"What do you mean?" He asked meekly.

"Open wide…"

"W-why?"

Before the lesser intelligence realized what was going on, I shoved my hand into his mouth and reached my index finger to the back of his throat. Immediately James started to gag which then turned into throwing up. I gazed triumphantly and the retching figure below me.

After James had reverse eaten his breakfast, I poked the half digested fruits with a pencil.

Color: weird

(EA) Shape: also weird

Smell: putrid

(EA) Texture: … rather not

Tastes: … definitely a no

(EA) Status: may be poisonous

I glanced at the half rated fruit in James hand and pondered. I then snatched the fruit and bit down on the non-eaten side.

Smell: not bad

(EA) Taste: … strawberry peach, surprisingly good

Texture: smooth like an apple

(EA) Chemical makeup: how the hell am I supposed to measure this?

Toxic level: I think it's safe

(EA) Status: not poisonous

"It's safe," I declared while ignoring the small part of my brain screaming "I THINK ITS SAFE"

Everyone gave a sigh of relief, then ran towards the tree and started to strip the trees bare. I glanced at the pitiful James.

Damn, he still looked handsome while throwing up.

(EA) Kill him.

No. And it will always be no.

I walked towards a tree and plucked a fruit. While gnawing on it, I glanced at the sky wanting to observe the two suns more. Immediately I froze. In the air was a bird. A BIG one.