25 Grieve

After waking too early after a fitful night, Yesterday bombards my memories. I sigh, trying to shake off the melancholy and think of ways to help Daric work through his grief. He struggled to survive with them long enough to consider each other family. To lose people you love can destroy the strongest warriors. Daric has yet to grieve, and I don't want it to eat him alive.

Daric wakes with a cloud of gloom hovering over him.

"Morning, how did you sleep?" I ask gently.

He shrugs, interacting about as much as I expected. But I press on asking questions in a vain attempt to keep him from wallowing keeping my tone and topic light.

"We are traveling to Naora the capital of Miota."

"..."

"It's built on the worlds largest mountain. One so high they say if you go to the top you can talk to the Gods."

"..."

From there, I keep up a stream of trivial conversation as we get dressed, which is when I decide he can heal once he has closure. If not, the loss will fester until he becomes twisted from sorrow, loss, and hate.

I don't tell Daric my plans; he isn't listening anyway. I take one of Lark's knives and sneak off again.

/As long as I have someone with me, I'm not breaking my promise, right?/

Somehow, I don't think Irvin will see things my way. Besides, I'll go far enough to have privacy.

Once I have a tree picked out, I get to work stripping off a layer of bark. When I have made enough space, I use the tip of the knife to carve words into the tree. I haven't written in Emari recently; the most common language in the four kingdoms, but I make do. When done, I stand back and evaluate my work. It's shaky but legible. Daric stares with incomprehension at the tree. I blink at him.

"You don't know how to read?" I ask.

He replies, "No."

I point at each word as I read it to him. "Zain, Ivo, Monna. These three lived brief lives. May their memory remain deep in our hearts. For they will never truly die so long as we never forget." Tears fall down Daric's face; I hug him as I continue talking, "I'm sorry you lost so many people close to you. But I fear you will let their loss twist you into an angry and bitter man. I don't want that happening to you. So this tree is their monument. A representation of them to last through the ages. Proof they lived. Let this tree contain your grief, so it doesn't consume you."

I stayed where I was as Daric took a few stumbling steps before falling to his knees before the tree and rests his forehead against it. I watch as his shoulders shook. He lifts a hand and hit the tree with the side of his fist, doing the same with the other, back and forth until he was beating on it.

Bang - bang - bang

He cries, screams, and yells. Pounding his grief into the tree; raging against the injustice. I stood behind him hugging myself as I cried with him. He remains like this for half an hour until he reaches the point he throws both fists against the tree giving one final mournful shout. Before collapsing to the ground, sobbing. We stay like this until Daric purges his pent-up agony.

I watch with a heavy heart. The tragedies another person faced never affected me, till now. The line between reality and imaginary has blurred. There's a world of difference between my current hallucination and the ones from before. It's the difference in watching a shootout on tv and getting caught in the middle of one. You can empathize with the situation on the screen, but it cannot compare to bullets fly by your head.

When Daric gets up, it seems a weight dropped off his shoulders. He gives one final look at the words carved into the tree, before walking away head high.

____________________

Guilty, Irvin turns away. The outpouring of so much grief is painful to watch. His previous annoyance at her disregarding protection left him in the face of so much pain. While he followed them his mind thought of the various changes he has seen from the Princess. He chastises himself, knowing as long as Princess' identity proves true, any speculations he makes are unnecessary. But he's unable to stop questioning the changes. Thinking the Princess was replaced using an unknown method, he followed her believing she was going to meet with conspirators. Instead, he bore witness to something unexpected. He doubts his ideas, but it's clear she is no longer the woman who was known as the Princess. The way she talks, moves, and treats others are too different. /This Princess is gentle, kind, and has the patience worthy of a saint./ He furrows his brows at is own thoughts. It's possible her changes have been an act, but the care in her eyes when she looks at that child is genuine.

Irvin's heart clogs with frustration. Princess Nadia killed the woman he loved leaving him to raise her child, and he never received justice for her. For a long time, he hated the Princess. But, while she committed the act, the problem is more than her. Noble mages abuse the weak while the king is a puppet. The more he cared, the more he had to lose. Left with no way to escape this world. He stopped caring and did what he as told, nothing more nothing less. But seeing a noble mage being kind to a stranger threatens the belief he holds of the world.

Therefore, this change solidifies his belief this is no longer the Princess Nadia of the past. Only time will tell if it's good or not.

____________________

The Princess has returned after once more leaving. The now uncloaked figure uses the commotion of her reappearance to check her talent level. The level it reaches makes them bite back a curse. It's not high enough. If she turns out to be weaker than estimated, then she'll be useless to sacrifice. We need powerful blood asura. Hers is supposed to contain the asura of the last two hundred generations of mages in her genetic line. With the death of each ancestor, they passed on a portion of their asura. Making each generation stronger than the last. As it happens to be, her mother is also a fallen goddess.