229 Monke is Lucky Perver

A/N: Read author's note at the bottom. It is somewhat important regarding update schedule.

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"I have gathered you here today because of an urgent call from one of my Dungeon Master friends." I eyed each of the gathered troops I had called upon for this assignment. "To be brief, they are currently being attacked by magical forces present within this world, and they are fearless. Death does not scare them, and they will gladly lay down their lives for their objective."

Drake's eyes narrowed a bit upon hearing their main trait.

"As such, your orders are to aid our allied Dungeon and massacre the enemy forces. Capturing prisoners is secondary." The Colored Ogre Tribe leader, Zurug, smiled ferociously. The same could be said for the rest of his tribe and the trolls. "You will be going through two portals, first this one right behind me, and the second within another allied Dungeon. Drake here…"

I gestured towards Drake, whom the rest of the group immediately laid their eyes upon. "Will be your group leader. However, within the Dungeon of our ally, you are to follow the orders of the Dungeon Master in order to not get confused. Is that clear?"

"Yeah, we got it." Drake nodded, and I gave him the stage. "Anyway, not much of a talker, so I'll just say this. Raise hell!" The group all roared, with their arms either raised or thumping their chests.

Without sparing a moment, the group quickly entered the portal, leaving me in the area with a bunch of monsters and human spectators. With my job done, I opened the Dungeon Communications and quickly contacted Gong.

"Yes Boss?"

"Gather some of the primates from the second and third floors. At least a hundred will do." Gong looked at me for a moment with brief confusion, but nonetheless, he nodded his head in affirmation.

"But why, Boss?"

"We'll need to beef up security on the first floor. With most of the humans staying for much longer, as well as the expansion of their area, I'm afraid the primates on the first floor won't be able to handle security."

"Ahh… Okay." Gong, his curiosity sated, thumped his chest before I cut the signal.

Letting out a sigh because of future headaches about to bash my head into oblivion, I once again contacted another resident within my Dungeon.

"Ah! Jionni!" In an instant, my mind blanked out on the scene in front of me. Without letting a second pass, I turned around, only for the screen to follow my vision and Lara, bright-faced and butt-naked, did the same, with the same results.

'… Bad timing…'

"Lara, apologies. I'll call you a few minutes later." I quickly cut off the signal, my little Jionni threatening to pierce through the heavens at the scene I had witnessed.

'You know, for a girl with a child's body, she is strangely developed in all the right places. I doubt a child would have curves and modestly sized boobs.'

I hummed in thought while I did my best to calm the raging storm trying to break hold of my senses.

'For fuck's sake… My status tells me I'm not even a year old, but I feel like going through puberty again…' The sound of my palm smacking my face reverberated within the area, prompting some passersby to curiously look at me, their Dungeon Master.

"Don't mind me, just having a few headaches." And just like that, they all dispersed. I'm glad that I have such understanding residents.

Or maybe they just don't want to raise my ire. Whichever works, I guess?

Breathing in deeply, I once again contacted Lara, hoping to Drakhan that she wasn't butt-naked and doing something not meant for children's eyes.

The screen lit up, showing a red-faced Lara sitting on a chair, her normally energetic and spunky attitude gone, replaced by a shy and embarrassed girl.

"Forgive me, Lara, I didn't think that you would be… Attending to your needs when I contacted you." Lara didn't speak up as she glared at the ground. While I waited for an outburst, which I'll be honest, I deserve at this point for breaching her privacy, I noticed something on top of her bed.

'… Oh…' That was a goddamn camera… She was… Oh… Oh dear… 'Am I looking at an upcoming porn star? Or is this something shared between two people only? Well, not my concern. I just hope she lets this one slide.'

"I will be happy to give you some compensation for the breach of privacy. Name it, and it will be yours, within boundaries, of course." Shit… I'm so damn nervous that I'm reverting to formal speech…

"Anything, you say?"

"Yes, anything…"

In my mind, all I could do was sigh.

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"So, you want me to let Daniel know you're calling for him?"

I nodded with a sigh of relief. After agreeing to her terms, Lara became responsive enough to talk with me.

"Yes, I need to talk with him about something very important."

"Understood, I'll send him to your office."

"That will be fine." Smiling at each other, we both said our goodbyes before I cut the signal.

'… I'll have to do something about my Dungeon Communication processes… Come to think of it, when I call someone, it varies for a few seconds, but none of them were ever declined or just kept on ringing without anybody to answer.'

I thought of this as something like they were too scared to not answer me, but it turns out that they will always be forcibly patched through, whether the receiver likes it or not. In the case of other Dungeon Masters calling me, I can decline or just not pick up.

"I can see the pros of this feature, but at the cost of the privacy of my residents." I mulled this over before ultimately deciding to implement the decline and missed call feature.

As much as how valuable it is to always patch through, no matter what, the happiness of my residents comes first.

Of course, I still have the force call feature just in case something happens. I'm not idiotic enough to remove that useful feature. At least with this, something like earlier won't happen again…

'And my damn little Jionni is rising again… Motherfucker…' I did my best to cover my rising tent as I walked through Monster Town, with my office in the Human City as my destination.