19 Chapter 19

I just realized that in order to get rid from any heartaches, you should know how to remote yourself from people who have the potential in breaking you down. You should know how to place yourself. Know your limitations, know your worth from people you care too much. Just because you love them, it doesn't mean you'll allow them to oppress you. It doesn't mean you will forever do things according to their will and satisfactions.

That's what I have learned from my experiences. I may not be the best person anyone had met, but I know I tried my best to prove to them that I'm worth having for. But maybe it wasn't good enough, I'm still not enough 'cause in the first place, I'm not the right person they've been looking for.

For my first year in Italy, I learned how to value myself. And I have realized that maybe the reason why they can't treasure me is because I don't even know how to value myself. I learned that you live not to impress but to satisfy yourself. You live because you want to and not because of people around you. And yes, for my first year in Italy, I tried to change myself. I studied hard in a very well known and one of the most prestigious universities in the country.

And it is where I met Harffiel, a good friend of mine. We became bestfriends since we took the same course, which is about handling the business. I got to know him well and I realized as well that there are still people who care for you no matter how awful you are as a person.

Harffiel is a very well known Italian boy who is the son of an Italian tycoon that owns different business lines. They owned chains of hotels all over the Italy. And yes, he is every girl's dreams.

But not me.

I only see him as my good friend. Good thing we both feel the same thing. He's cool, funny and gentleman. He's the complete opposite of Royal in the field of honesty. Harffiel is so honest that he doesn't care whether you'll get hurt or pleased by his words. He said, "What matters the most to me is you know what I feel for you." And I thank him for that.

Well, to be honest, in our first meet, I don't like him that much. He's arrogant and rude. He keeps on bragging about his god-like face.

He has a gorgeous face and what makes him more mesmerizing is his deep ocean blue eyes that could take away your sanity. And I admit, it's really hard to keep your sanity while talking to him. His eyes never fail to bring me to another dimension. And that's, I think, the most exciting part of him.

But because of his attitude, I never had the chance of falling in love. Well, the moment I stepped my feet on the ground, I vowed to myself that I won't fall in love again. I have frozen my heart for years. I just realized that love isn't really that important matter. You can live without it. You can live on your own, in your own way of survival. You don't have to force yourself to someone who only sees you as a younger sister.

Well, past is past. For couple of years of fighting with my own battle, I learned how to control my emotions. And yes, living here with my grandma helps me a lot to get to know myself. I changed the way I act, speak, think, everything. Good friends of grandma helped me to become a better person. They trained me to become a successful woman someday.

"I really really love your masterpieces, Alraine." Mrs. Ferrer declared in her own language.

"Thank you so much." I smiled. "I appreciate your words."

"No problem, lady. I'm glad you finally found the right one for you."

"Oh, thank you." I smiled.

Just like what mom's doing, I had my third exhibit of my paintings and sketches. Thanks to my aunties who helped me so much in getting up.

I wandered my eyes around and I immediately spotted my own art that entitled "engagement". It's all about the moment when Royal proposed to Ria.

There's a girl standing in front of the man, who's kneeling in front of her while showing her an engagement ring. She's wearing a red laced up suede halter crop top, high waisted navy blue jeans and a pair of chunky heels.

Vivid memories lurked inside my head. I can still remember detail by detail of the said engagement party. The painting looks realistic because I made it way back six years ago when I was really broken hearted by Royal. The said masterpiece is detailed since I made it few days after the party. And even up to now, if I'm going to paint again, I can picture it out, same as I had six years ago.

The next in line is a dark painting because it's nighttime. It's when I called him late at night when I was so devastated with my life. The painting is all about the white car with a man leaning on it. And it is entitled "comfort zone". I made it six years ago as well. I was so relieved that time and I felt like I was not totally alone since I had him.

And the last but not the least is a portrait of a man with deep set coffee eyes. It's painted with oil and acrylic. The feature of a man isn't detailed much since I had to keep the privacy or information of it.

I painted it the night before my flight and it's when my friends went home. I got bored so I decided to paint his physiques and vowed to myself that he can't hurt me again.

Well atleast, it made me feel light. Somehow I felt freedom.

"Don't you have any plan in going home?" Grandma asked.

"This is my home, la." I replied and kissed her cheeks.

We're inside our house. I just got home from work and my body's screaming exhaustion.

"Of course, apo." She laughed richly. "But you have to consider in going back to the Philippines. Don't tell me you don't miss someone there?"

I grimaced at her teasing smile and decided to march the way to the kitched. I opened the fridge and grabbed something to drink.

"I don't, la." I said and drank a milk then placed it back to the fridge as soon as I filled my stomach. "Besides, I have load of works here. I couldn't just leave it here just to go back to the Philippines." I explained.

Why would I even go back to the Philippines? Italy is my home. This is where I belong. Besides, I don't want to see any familiar face. Specially Royal's.

"Oh, sweetheart." She chuckled. The crinkles on her face are noticeable.

"No need, la." I insisted. "Besides, no one misses me there."

"What about Royal? Don't you miss him?"

I grimaced again and brushed everything off. I don't give a damn about him. For sure he has his own family now. I heard he's taking the CEO position of Mocetti company. And the rest? I don't know and I don't care.

"I don't, la. Besides, he's no one to me now. I have lost my connection with him the moment I stepped my feet here."

"But about your parents?" She asked curiously and I looked away. Something pricked my heart.

For six years of being far from them, I learned to be content of what I have. I have taught myself to be independent. That I don't need them to survive or to stand since I have my grandma.

They are the main reason why I am here. They don't see me as their daughter. They don't treat me as one of their kinds which I don't understand. For almost two decades, I tried my best to convince them that it was just an accident. It wasn't really my intention to make Omega die.

I took a deep breath as I turned to grandma and faked a smile.

"I'm so tired, la. I need to rest for the mean time. We'll just talk once I have recovered."

"Sure, hija." She smiled gracefully. "I have no problem with that. You better rest now."

"Thanks, la." I smiled and kissed her cheeks once again. "Good night."

The following morning, I got nothing to do so I decided to have a jog to keep my figure. Since then, I've been keeping my shape to look more sophisticated and healthy. I'm also conscious about my foods and my lifestyle. Good thing my body isn't weak, not like my heart.

"Hey!" A familiar voice startled me a bit and I wandered my eyes around just to see who was that man.

I squinted and furrowed my brows. I can't believe my eyes! A jaw-dropping man is walking towards me!

"Harffiel?" I called out, more on clarifying.

"Yes! The one and only." He bragged and I punched his chest playfully. "Aw. That hurts me a bit, Alraine."

"You better be." I rolled my eyes. "Anyway, what made you draw your fat ass here?" I asked, changing the topic. I wiped my wet body with white towel and after, I drank my water.

"Just checking on you." He said and I turned to him with furrowed brows. "How was your exhibit? I heard it's your third time. Am I right?"

"Yup." I nodded in approval.

Yesterday was my third exhibition of my masterpieces. The first one was two years ago, the second is last year and the third is just this year.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to make it." He said and I looked at his eyes. I can see sincerity.

"It's okay." I smiled as an assurance. "I know you're busy with your life."

"Oh, yeah?" He chuckled and his oceanic eyes glistened. "I was busy with dad's business. You know, we're having a new project."

"Oh," I nodded. "That's good to hear, then. You'll be very busy with your life. But I hope you're still having enough time for yourself."

"Of course, darling." He teased. "I always have ample of time for myself. What about you? Still single and unavailable?" He scoffed and bursted into a laughter and I mocked at him.

"Who cares I'm single?" I rolled my eyes. "You know we both don't believe in love."

"I know," he quickly replied. "Love is just a pain in the ass. I hate commitments."

"But according to Ian, you're getting married?" I asked, confused.

Ian is his best buddy. If I'm not mistaken, they are cousins or just friends at all.

"It's a fixed marriage. And I'm glad we don't have to live under the same roof since we were just forced to marry each other to keep the business."

"Oh," I pouted mockingly. "What a tragic love story."

"Silly." He laughed and I hit his shoulders. "Hey! You're such a malicious creature."

"I'm not." I objected. "I just hate you for mocking at me." I rolled my eyes.

"What mocking at me? You were the first one to mock at me. Do you have a short term amnesia?"

I mocked at him.

"You see? You just mocked at me!" He whined while laughing.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes at him. "Anyway, I have to go home."

"But why? Are you busy?" He quickly asked.

"Not totally."

"I'm free today. In case you want to visit my company."

"Wow," I blurted out with sarcasm. "Your company, really?"

"Why? I own it, Alraine. I'm the CEO now."

I shot my brows in disbelief. Did I hear him right?

"Oh, right!" I exclaimed. "You said you have nothing to do, right?"

"Yup?" He grimaced in confusion.

"Right! Take me to some mall. I need to buy things for my paintings."

"Sure, then. That's it?"

"I guess so?"

"Okay. Let's eat after. My treat."

I widened my lips. "Hell yeah!" I exclaimed in excitement.

He took me home and waited in the living room while I'm having my shower. After taking a bath, I applied girly stuffs on my body. I've been doing this since I was in high school. Everytime I go out, I don't forget to wear make up, either nude, light or heavy.

I wore a simple black ripped jeans, loose rounded long sleeve top, black cup and white shoes with mary jane leaf on it. And after I settled myself, I went down from the stair to face Harffiel who's been waiting for me. He looks impatient but when he saw me, he immediately smiled like he's relieved from something.

"Let's go?" I asked.

"I thought you'd ditch me." He said, laughing.

"Why would I?" I smirked.

"Well, you already did it to me."

I threw a breathy smirk at him.

"I'm sorry about that, though. I was just really pissed off that time." I explained.

It was way back five years ago, when we were in first year college. I got annoyed of how blunt he was for bragging about his "god-like" face. And to my irritation, I made him wait for nothing. I ditched him and left alone here.

I laughed richly. I can still remember that moment. He was fuming in anger at me after what I did to him. He didn't talk to me for a month or more like two to three months. And after that, we became friends again. I don't know how. It was like a magic.

"Stop laughing." He whined and I laughed even more. He stood up and clung his arms around mine while tickling me.

"Oh, god! Stop!" I demanded while trying my best to loosen up from him. "Stop, please!" I cried. But the more I beg, the more he tickles me. "Holy shit!" I exclaimed and I forcefully pushed him away from me.

"What now, Alraine?" He teased, catching his breath.

"You're so bad!" I huffed and he laughed at me.

"I know. Now, get up and let's get going." He commanded.

"Now you get me up." I demanded and he shook his head in disbelief.

"Sure." He said and lifted me up.