16 Chapter 16

"Where will I drop you?" Asked Riley after few minutes of walking around.

"Maybe you can take me to my room. I assumed my friends are there, waiting for me. They might kill me once I'll show up in front of them." I chuckled.

"Okay. That's a little bit nasty." Then he chuckled at his last word.

"Yeah, sort of. But that's what I love the most." I smiled as I could feel my heart fluttering.

"Like what?" He asked and stood in front of me and I looked up.

He's taller than me. That's all I can say. I love his scents, his smiles and his stance. He looks matured enough and gentleman. He has little mole on his cheeks and endpoint of his right brow, stubbles between his nose and lips.

"I prefer an honest man. Like you know, his words may hurt me but I know he's telling me the truth."

That's all I ever wanted. I want someone to tell me nothing but the truth. I deserve to know the truth... everyone does. No one deserves to be fooled around no matter how cruel he is.

"Awe. That sounds painful." He joked and I looked down 'cause I remember Royal.

Royal again, Alpha? For fuck's sake, get over from him! He doesn't love you like you feel for him. You're only his sister.

"You okay? I'm sorry." He said, holding my hands and gently squeezed it. "I didn't mean to let you down."

"It's okay," I smiled as I looked up at him. I love how his eyes express his real feelings. I feel like he deserves someone who's real enough to him.

He sighed exasperately.

"I guess you need to go home." He suggested.

"No." I quickly objected. "I need to see my friends."

"Do you really have to?"

"Ahuh," I nodded and he sighed in resignation.

"Okay. If that's what makes you happy, then."

"Thanks. You better go now. It's getting late."

"I'm fine, Raphaela. I'm worried sick about you. And... if you wouldn't mind... let me ask you something."

My breathing hitched and I slowly shot my brows up, waiting for his next line.

"What do you mean? I-I mean, what is it?"

He remained silent while boring his eyes on me. His eyes looked darker even if some lights were striking his gorgeous face.

"Well," he started. "I don't know if I'm overrating things but," he paused for awhile. "I saw how you broke into tiny pieces while watching the engagement."

I gulped once and licked my lower lip. I took a deep breath in silence. I'm afraid we're thinking the same thing.

"Do you really see him as your older brother?"

I completely froze. I didn't know how to react or what would I say.

Excuse me? Am I too obvious?

"Nevermind," he said, dismissing the topic. "Maybe I'm just hallucinating." He shrugged off.

I remained silent until he left me as soon as I stood in front of my room. He never asked me again about my status with Royal. I'm afraid he knows I'm in love with his cousin's fiancee. What will he think of me?

"Alpha?" Called out by someone in her voice full of startle and I turned to her whose eyes are wide. "Gals! Alpha's here!" Angelika announced and in just few seconds, I heard footsteps running towards our direction.

"A!" Called out by Trixie.

"Oh, god, Raphaela! Finally you're here!" Janrez blurted out and ran towards me to pinch my arms and I groaned because she almost deboned me.

"Alpha." Called out by Via. All of them came closer to me.

"You're here." Janrez stated, more like surprised. "I thought we have to come over to your house just to make sure you're alive."

"What had happened? Why are you late?" Angelika asked and I abruptly hugged her tight. I broke down into tears silently and they shushed me soothingly, making me cry more.

"What happened?" I heard Via asked in curiosity.

"Shsh. Everything will be fine, A." Angelika said, rubbing my back in a soothing manner.

When I settled myself down, I loosened up to face them. I immediately wiped my ugly face and tried to hold back my tears.

"You okay, A?" Asked Janrez with her worried eyes.

"Yeah," I whispered. "Maybe I just need some time for myself."

"What do you mean?" Via quickly asked, furrowing her brows.

"You guys are right. I shouldn't have fallen in love with him." I looked away but turned to them immediately.

"What?" Janrez furrowed her brows. "We don't understand you, A. Care to explain it to us?"

I sighed exasperately. I feel like I want to go somewhere else. Somewhere far away from reality.

"He's freaking engaged." I declared and their jaw dropped in disbelief.

"Who? Royal?" Angelika quickly asked, whose brows are knotted together.

"Yeah," I whispered. Something pricked my heart with million needles.

"What?!" They exclaimed in unison. "This can't be!" Trixie disagreed. "I thought you two are having mutual feelings?" She gave emphasis to her last two words.

"Yeah!" Via agreed. "What the hell, A? What the fuck just happened?"

"I don't know." Tears pooled over my eyes as my heart's sinking vigoriously. "I have no idea." Tears streamed down like a river and they all hugged me, comforting me.

"You'll get over him, A." Angelika muttered. "You know, he's not the only man."

I know. But he's the only one I ever wanted eversince I laid my eyes on him. From the very beginning, I know he's the only one who can complete me. Funny it is but I don't care.

And now someone owns him and sooner or later, he'll get tied with her. What about me? I'll be left all alone while hoping he would change his mind for me? That he'll show up here to say he regrets hurting me?

I hope so. But who am I kidding? He's so in love with Ms. Venturi. I know I'm just nothing compared to her. And I feel like I don't deserve someone like Royal.

"You bitch! I thought you won't show up here!" Janrez blurted out as soon as we entered inside our room.

It's almost nine in the evening. I already settled down myself. Thanks to my friends. And we planned to go to a bar. Just having a cup of tea.

"You know me, Rez. I keep my words." I said and rolled my eyes.

"You better be." She scoffed and I shrugged, dismissing the topic.

Ten o'clock in the evening when we handled our marriage booth.

Marriage booth.

My stomach cringed at that thought. Royal's image, wearing a black tux, lurks inside my head. I can imagine Ria wearing her most elegant and sophisticated wedding dress while walking down the aisle. Royal, in the other hand, can't help but cry tears of joy because finally, he will be tied to someone he loves the most. And that isn't me. It is someone who's better than me. And I admit it, jealousy pricks the peak of my throat. Something inside me envies her so much, wishing I can be her.

"Jera, take this ring as the sign of my love, faith and loyalty..." a man, who I guess is Jake, says while sliding the ring into Jera's ring finger. My heart aches as I imagine Royal doing it to Ria.

Oh, fucking marriage. I don't think it's really nice. I mean, if I'm not the one for Royal, then I think marriage is not for me as well.

I sighed in exhaustion. How come, Alpha? How come? Will you please stop thinking about someone who broke your heart?

"I'm so fucking excited!" Janrez blurted out in extreme excitement. "I feel like there are hot boys out there!" She added and giggled.

It's almost four in the morning. As we have planned, we'll go directly to a bar. I'm not fond of bar and clubs but for this moment, I guess I'll be needing it. I want to forget even just for awhile. I know it's a stupid thing to do but I have no choice. Who knows I'll meet this handsome guy who is destined to be mine, right?

"Calm down, Rez." Via laughed at her. "You're too obvious."

"I know." Janrez rolled her eyes. "I just can't help myself. I feel like I want to explode."

"Bet you'll find a man who will devirginize you-"

"Oh, fuck that Trixie." Janrez scowled at her. "Do you think I'm easy to get?"

"No one knows." Trixie defended herself. "You'll get drunk and you'll lose your sanity. You'll be hanging out with strangers."

Janrez mocked at her with a sarcastic clap.

"You know what? You deserve some applause."

"Oh, come on." She scoffed. "Name it all. I've been there, girl."

Our eyes widened at her statement.

"You mean... you're not a virgin anymore?" I asked, extremely surprised.

"Kind of?" She asked but, sounded unsure.

"Oh, goddess!" Via exclaimed and Trixie immediately pinched her down. "Oh, fuck." She howled.

"Lower down your voice, please!" She whispered in a warning voice. "People might hear us."

"But seriously? You're not a virgin anymore?" I asked, still wonderstruck.

"So? What's wrong with it?"

I furrowed my brows at her. I can't believe at her statements. It's like she's proud of being like that. She lost her virginity with a stranger? How that could be even possible?

"What the fuck, Trix?" Via groaned. "Do you even know what will happen if ever you did something with a stranger? What if you'll get pregnant and you don't even know who's the father?" She scolded her friend.

"Are you even aware that time when you were making a bed scene with someone you just met?" Asked Janrez.

"Yup?" She replied hesitantly. "I'm not sure. I was drunk for heaven's sake! Just like I told you, Rez, you should be aware of yourself when you're drunk. You don't know what will happen to you in case you lost your sanity."

My stomach cringed at the thought of having sex with a stranger. How could that be? They said it hurts for the first time-- no! No, Raphaela. Stop thinking about it. You're too young to be exposed with those sinful things. You're just 18 for goodness' sake! Don't be like those women who got pregnant in their early age. If that so, you won't enjoy your life being a single.

"Okay, okay." Janrez hang her hands in the air in resignation. "We'll go to the bar just to relax, enjoy and forget about heartaches." She declared then turned to me. "Even just for awhile, Raphaela will forget about Royal. And maybe, just maybe, this will be her last bar with us. You know... she'll move to her grandma."

"Yeah," they agreed in torpor. "I hope you'll change your mind, A." Angelika says in a hopeful voice. "I know you're doing this for yourself. And lately, I realized maybe it's the right time to consider yourself. Like you know, you've been through a lot for your whole life. You need a break. You need some time and space to ponder. Maybe one day, you'll realize you deserved to be happy. You deserved freedom. And maybe, just maybe, you'll find the right guy for you."

I smiled bitterly. "I hope so. I badly want to forget. And yes, the only way to get rid from everything is to move away. To be remote from everyone who keeps on hurting me."

They smiled bitterly. Somehow I feel my chest lightening. I feel like something slowly loosening up from a tight grip.

After that, we decided to drive away. I'm happy and content at the same time. I can't imagine my life without my friends. They may bring me down sometimes, but I know they're always there to lift me up. And I thank heaven for giving me such a wonderful gift. They are like my second family.

"Just remember this, A." Trixie started.

We're still inside Trixie's car which is parked in a parking lot of the said bar in Quezon City. It's almost five in the morning. I don't know if it's still a good idea since the sun is rising up.

"What?" I asked.

I'm seating on the shotgun seat while Trixie occupied the driverseat and the rest of my friends took the backseat.

"I know you're not used or fond of any clubs or bars. So I'm expecting you're naive when it comes to this. Just don't talk to any stranger. Do not accept any drinks from them 'cause it might have a sleeping pill. And of course, do not entertain them if you feel threatened or uncomfortable."

"Oh, sure." I only said.

Honestly? I don't need any advice from her. But I'm happy she's concerned of me.

"Shove it to your mind, A." She said in warning. "I'm telling you this because I've been here for how many times. I don't want any of you to repeat my mistakes."

"Yeah, thanks for the concern."

"Thank me later." She quickly replied and I nodded as a response.