13 Chapter 13

After that moment, I decided to excuse myself because I can no longer endure the pain. I realized how awful I was for falling in love with someone who treats me no one but a younger sister. I should have known about it.

I locked myself inside the vacant cubicle and cried my heart out. I'm so fucked up and I don't know how to get up.

If only I knew it was an engagement party, I shouldn't have shown up here even if my parents will kill me 'cause what's the difference? The pain is killing me slowly.

I held my chest as I felt it tightening. No matter how hard I try to settle down, I always fail miserably. Tears stream down like a river and all I can do is to go with the flows.

How I wish this night would end. That pain wouldn't be felt no more 'cause I suck in moving on. It takes years before I can finally say that everything is over. That what we had before will always remain in the past 'cause it's been over. It'll never belong to the future.

I cupped my mouth as I heard voices and the sound of heels. And in a moment, the sound of dripping waters followed.

"Oh, god! Ria's so lucky to have Royal!" A voice of a woman exclaimed.

"True." Seconded by another girl. "And I can see Royal's really in love with her."

"I thought they'll totally separate their ways but look at now? They're engaged in front of everyone!" Butted in by another girl in excitement.

"True. I can hear wedding bells." Said by the first voice.

I purse my lips together. I feel like I want to die right now. The pang is eating me, slowly making my body numb.

"I want to be her bridesmaid!" declared by the third voice.

"No way!" The second voice quickly disagreed. "I will be her bridesmaid 'cause I'm prettier than you."

"Wow." Blurted out by the first voice with sarcasm. "Sorry but your beauty is like your phone passcode."

"Hmp!"

They talked few stuffs before they finally decided to go out like they thought they were the only one who's here. Good thing I didn't make any sound 'cause they might freak out if I did so.

Couple of minutes since they left, I decided to move out from my cage. I immediately saw my face on the mirror. Swollen red eyes and lips, messy hair and wet face. Good thing my make up is waterproof as well as my mascara.

I gobbled an air as I finally settled myself. Numbers of sobs are escaping but I know I'm fine already. Maybe I just need to rest or give myself a space and time to ponder. I know I'm hurt. I know I'm broken at this moment but I know this won't last... that wounds will be healed in a short span of time. Yet, I easily break down into tears 'cause scars are still bleeding. I'm not yet mended.

"You can do this, Alpha. You've been here before, right?" I said and asked myself, as if I'm going to have an answer from my own reflection.

I remember when I got brokenhearted by Bernard. I've been teaching myself not to get near to him because I knew he liked Desirque, my bestfriend. But of course, Desirque loved other man. And I hope they will be for each other 'cause I know how much my bestfriend loves the man of her dream. And I know how much he loves my bestfriend too.

As I stepped outside the restroom, I immediately wandered my eyes around and hit a familiar physiques of a man. He looked at me with his worried eyes and I looked away 'cause I know I'm such a mess. I'm a failure and most awful woman.

"A-Alpha." He called out, hesitant to step forward.

I looked down and tears pooled over my eyes. I really hate this thing! I thought I'm okay now but I can feel my heart is sinking over and over again. "I... was looking for you." He added and I looked up to smile in torpor.

"Why?" I asked, looking at him straight and he gulped once for some unknown reasons.

"Ahm," he paused and I smiled because his chubby cheeks are attention-seeker. "I... saw you crying..." he said and looked at me like a guilty pup.

I chuckled under my breath.

"Do I look like a ghost or something worse than it?" I asked in between a soft chortle.

"N-No," he quickly replied. "It's just that... I-I can't talk to you 'cause... you're..."

I narrowed my eyes at him. He's opposite of Rocco. Rocco has a high level of confidence while Riley has low, like he's always guilty of something.

"I'm what?" I chuckled. "Come on, let's go back to our table."

"Y-you sure you're okay?"

"Hmm?" I hummed instead of answering him. "Yup. And..." I paused for awhile. I remember Trixie. She told us Riley will dance her.

"Why?" He asked, making me knock off from my trance.

"Trixie said you'll dance her tonight. Isn't it you're going to attend our school party?"

"Oh," he slapped his forehead like he just remembered what he forgot. "Yeah... about that..." he sighed heavily. "I know your friend will understand."

I felt the sadness pricked my heart. Poor Trixie. I hope she'll understand.

"Okay," I said, brushing the topic off.

"Let's go? Your friends must be looking for you."

"Yeah," I smiled faintly and followed his way back to our table.

As we're getting near to our table, Rocco eyed us and scrunched his brows in curiosity. And then Thali, his girlfriend, also noticed us.

"We're have you been, Alpha?" Asked Rocco as soon as I sat beside him. Riley, in the other hand, eyed me as he took his seat.

"Just... somewhere else." I replied curtly.

"I thought you're already home, Raphaela." Thali commented and I turned to her.

"I forgot my bag." I said.

"Oh, yeah. I think someone called you. It kept on ringing awhile ago."

"O-okay." I said and took my phone out from my pocket and I gasped in silence when I saw Trixie's name on my screen.

"Why?" I heard Thali asked.

"I missed Trixie's call. And I found out it's already eight in the evening."

"Are you going to join the school party?"

I put back my phone and turned to her with a nod.

"I promised my friends that I'll show up before nine drops."

"You mean... you're going by now?"

"I guess so." I curtly replied and turned to Riley, who's watching at me intently. "Are you coming with me or you'll ditch Trixie?"

"Trixie?" Mouthed by Rocco and I turned to him whose brows were furrowed.

"Yup."

"What's with Trixie? Are you..."

"No." Riley buts in with his cold voice and I turn to him whose eyes are shoved into mine.

"Okay," Rocco muttered under his breath. "So, you'll stay here?"

"Still no. I'll drive Alpha to our school."

"Thanks, Ri." I said with a smile and turned to my friends. "I guess let's call it a night, guys. In case you'll change your mind, you can visit our marriage booth and vow to each other that you two will remain in love no matter how hard the situation is."

"Sure, Raphaela. Thank you for inviting us." Thali said in a smile.

"No worries, Thali." I said and smiled too. "I'm glad that you two found each other."

"Thanks, A." Said by Rocco and held Thali's hand and smiled at her. "I will always remain in love with her no matter how hard she is to understand."

"Hey." Thali pouted at her boyfriend and I smiled 'cause I'm really happy for them.

"Well," I butted in and stood up. "We'll be going now, guys. I think my friends are searching for me. They might think I'll ditch them."

"Yeah, sure." Rocco answered and turned to Riley. "Take care of her, bro. She'll still marry you someday."

"Hey." I snapped at Rocco but he just chuckled at my reaction and when I turned to Riley, he looked away immediately like he's guilty of something.

"Bye, guys." I heard Thali said and I smiled at her with a nod.

As we're walking down the hall out of the mansion, we were silent. I didn't dare to say a word. I don't want to make the first move but because my mind is my greatest traitor, I asked him a question.

"Ahm," I started and he turned to me with his curious eyes. "If you wouldn't mind, I'm gonna ask you a question."

"Sure. What is it?" He smiled at me like he's comfortable with my presence.

"Ahm," I paused for awhile. "I'm just curious about you and my friend, Trixie."

"And?" He shot his brows up.

"Nothing. I mean, you're friends with her, right?"

"Yup." He quickly replied.

"You mean... only friends? Not... friends with benefits?"

"What?" He chuckled between furrowed brows.

"I-I mean... don't you like each other?"

He remained quite as he looked away and I watched every emotion on his eyes but I can see nothing.

As I subconsciously wandered my eyes around, I saw a familiar deep set of coffee eyes. My breathing twitched as my heart suddenly twisted in pain. And I remember it all. I remember  from the very moment I laid my eyes on him.

I was in nineth grade of my high school when I first saw him. He was strikingly tantalizing with his black shirt, black jeans and black shoes. He looked so hot because his skin was more defined by the radiant of his outfit and he was wearing round eyeglasses which made him look more professional. Since then, I kept it to myself that I wanted to have someone like him. He was really caring to Desirque and I thought to myself that I want him to be my brother. I want him to be part of my life. I want to experience all the things Desirque experience with him. Like those times when he was so worried when Desirque got sick. I remember it all. I remember how he took care of my bestfriend.

But after that, as summer started, I barely saw him or I hadn't seen him at all. Just when after the mass. It was in the middle of my tenth grade and I was with Desirque that time.

"You're going home, Desirque?" Asked by a familiar voice. It was Bernard. I was about to cross the road when I heard his voice. And yes, I admit that I was pretty excited when I heard his voice. He was with his cousin, Matthias.

"Yup." Replied by my bestfriend between a smile but it didn't last for some unknown reason.

"That's good, then. We'll go home together." He presented.

"I'm sorry but I can't." Desirque humbly rejected him and a smirk was drawn beside my lips.

Sorry, Bernard. My bestfriend isn't interested with you. If I were you, you'll choose me. Who knows we're meant for each other?

"But why? You'll commute?" Desirque didn't answer him immediately 'cause she took a glance at Matthias then turned to him again.

"I'm not going home." Desirque announced.

"You're off to somewhere?"

"She'll have a date with someone." I butted and Matthias and Bernard mouthed my word in unison.

"Date?" The boys repeated like they haven't heard any word like that.

"No!" Desirque defended herself. "Please stop annoying me. Just trust me. I have some important thing to do."

"Where?" Bernard asked abruptly.

"Questionnaire, aren't you?" I scoffed, a little bit annoyed.

"Come on." He blurted out and I rolled my eyes in disgust.

"Araña!" Called out by a familiar voice and my heart twitched and my breathing hitched at that. We all whirled around to face him. And there I saw a familiar man, walking towards me.

"W-Who is he?" Bernard asked.

"Oh my freaking goddess!" I blurted out, shaking Desirque's shoulder.

"You're going home?" Royal asked the girl beside me between his mesmerizing smile and I couldn't help but to get lost with his deep set eyes 'cause they're freaking innocent but wild. Looking at his eyes is like riding a roller coaster.

"Yup." Desirque answered. "How about you? Why are you here?"

"To fetch you up?" Half statement, half question.

"Okay." Desirque nodded and turned to the two boys. "This is Royal." My bestfriend introduced her cousin to the boys.

"Your boyfriend?" Asked by Bernard in curiosity.

Desirque turned to Royal, who looked confused and they bursted into a laughter.

"No." Desirque answered, laughing. "He's the son of Aunt Graciana."

"Ah." Bernard.

"Can I take Araña home?" Royal suddenly spoke up.

"Sure." I answered confidently.

"Bye, guys." She waved a goodbye. I noticed boys' face like they're grieving for something.

"Take care." I said in a smile. And for the last time, Desirque waved before she followed Royal.

How I wish I can be Desirque. She's so lucky to have Royal in her life. I also want him to be part of my life but I guess that's too impossible. But who knows? Even just as my brother?