8 Chapter 8

"Are you feeling better?" Royal asked as we're inside his room. I finished drinking a glass of water that he gave me then placed it on his bedside table and nodded as a response.

"Thank you so much, fratello. Without you, I don't know what to do with my life."

"Why? What happened?" He asked as he sat beside me.

I heaved a heavy sigh and looked down. Even if he's doing nothing, my heart races on its own like I ran for a mile.

"They're still blaming me for Omega's death." I started and looked up. "It was accident. But mom insisted I was irresponsible."

"I'm sorry about that." He said and I turned to him with confusion written on my face. "I'm sorry if I can nothing to change their minds."

"It's okay," I replied with a heavy breath. "As long as I can count on you, I'll be fine no matter how tough life is."

He sighed and captured my hands and I looked down then captured his as well.

"I'll be by your side, baby. You can always count on me."

I looked at him and smiled bitterly.

"I wish I am free to love you... I am free to express my feelings for you."

"Why not?" He asked quickly. "We can stay like this even just in private places."

"Yeah," I whispered and looked down. "I guess so..." I looked at him straight again. "... 'cause I really don't know what to do. Every single breath I take, I wish you're mine." Tears pooled over my eyes. "I wish to hold you so tight and never let go of you."

"I always do, Alpha." He said and planted a kiss on my knuckle. "I always want to hold you in my arms but I'm just afraid to do it because your parents trust me the most. And I know you only see me as your older brother."

I remained quite though my mind is screaming.

"So what's your plan by now?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"It still depends on you, Alpha. I want to take it easy... take it slow 'cause I don't want to end this cursorily."

"Yeah, sure." I agreed with a nod. After all, he knows how to handle this. And mind you, he'll be my first boyfriend if ever we'll take the next stage of relationship.

I stayed inside his room the whole night. How I wish the sun won't shine tomorrow. I just want to stay like this. I want to stay with him 'cause I know I'm free, I'm safe whenever he's around.

"Won't you go home?" He asked all of the sudden.

"Nope." I plopped the letter 'p', emphasizing I don't have any plan of getting home.

"Come here," he said and tapped the space beside him. He's sitting on his bed while his back rested on its headboard.

I moved towards him silently. I crawled onto his bed and he chuckled at my action.

I sat beside him and immediately wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my face on his chest. My heart is beating cursorily and I have to take a deep breath for me to survive from his presence.

He rested his cheek on my head and wrapped me inside his arms. I smiled and closed my eyes because of the overwhelming feelings.

"Will you be busy tomorrow?" I asked as I broke the silence.

"Hmm?" He hummed and gently squeezed my hand and he entwined it to mine. I must admit, it feels good. His hand fits in mine like it is made for me.

"Don't you have any plan of chasing Ria?" I asked again. My question stung my heart. I just can't avoid thinking of Ria. Did he really love her? Why it's so easy for him to move on?

"She let go of me. You know me, Alpha. I'm not fond of chasing."

"Yeah," I whispered. "I'm sorry 'bout that, though."

He loosened up from me and I looked up to meet his deep eyes. Then he sighed and kissed my forehead.

"Let's not talk about her. What matters in me now is I know you love me. And I'll always hold on to your words."

I smiled, got nothing to say. I'm happy that I'm free to express my feelings for him. I'm happy that we both feel the same way. I just hope that we would last. I'm scared of waking up one day in the thought of being alone in life. That I lost him because I was crazy.

The following morning, I woke up with the sound of dripping waters. I got off from my bed and set aside the thick curtains so sunlight would verge in. And just few seconds passed when I heard the door opened and when I whirled around, my eyes got nailed on a rocky body. My cheeks flushed in red and I hastily whirled around, biting my lower lip.

"Good morning," he greeted between a giggle. My cheeks heat up more at his laughter and I bit my lower lip because of embarrassment. And just in a couple of seconds past by, I heard footsteps towards me.

"Halt." I warned but he giggled more.

"It's just my body, Alpha. You look like a scared cat."

"Stop!" I whined and he chuckled more.

"Hmm," he hummed sexily. "Playing innocence, aren't you? You've seen my entire body. What else are you ashamed of?" He teased.

"Oh, goddess." I murmured. "Why are you doing this to me?" I curse under my breath as I pant.

He bursted into a laughter. "Worry not, baby. I'm done."

"You sure?"

"Yup." He plopped the last letter and I whirled around like a snail, afraid to see something I will regret for the rest of my life. "See?" He voiced out between a grin and I gulped once because his presence is too much to bear.

I sighed in relief and he giggled at my reaction. I rolled my eyes and walked past behind him. I think I have a bad breath. But even if I have none, I still have to brush my teeth in case he hates bad odor.

After I brushed my teeth, I washed my face with soap. Good thing I have few stuffs here since I almost live in here. And when I'm done, I went outside his bathroom and saw him immediately, who's sitting beside his bed while typing something on his phone.

"Bullshit." He cursed under his breath and I flinched because I was caught off guard. And when he looked up, I saw a glint of startle on his eyes but immediately disappeared as he recovered from the situation.

"Why? Is there something bothering you?" I asked curiously.

Why would he curse if it's just nothing?

He sighed in frustration and switched his phone off and throw it onto the headboard.

"Ria wants to come back to me." He said, sounded annoyed. "She broke up with me and now, she's begging me to come back."

I nodded as a response. What shall I say, anyway?

But if I'll be Ria, maybe I'll do the same thing. But, if and only if I really love Royal.

"What's with your face?" He asked, making me back to my sanity and I shot my brows up then knotted them together. "You're lost again, aren't you?"

"Hmm," I hummed as I marched his way. "I was thinking something."

"And what is it?" He asked quickly.

"If I were Ria, probably I would do the same thing."

"What do you mean?" He knotted his brows together and I sat beside him.

"I would beg for you to come back to my life. But, if and only if I really love you."

He grimaced, puzzled.

"Why? Do you love me falsely?"

I grimaced at his question and suddenly bursted into a laughter.

"I mean... if you're the only one I want and need for my life, I would swallow my pride just to win you back again."

"And do you really think you could win me back again after what you did to me?"

"Why not?" I asked and suddenly frowned at him. "You love me, don't you?"

"Yes." He quickly answered with confidence. "But once you'll hurt me, don't wish to have a single word from me."

"I doubt it." I objected and shook my head in disapproval.

"What do you mean?" He asked curiously.

"If you really love someone, you would lower your pride down. I mean, can you stand there and watch someone bleeding because of you? Knowingly you love her so much."

He remained silent at my question so I decided to brush everything off. I don't need any further explanation.

We moved down when I felt my stomach rumbled because of hunger. We ate together in silence. Sometimes I'm breaking it so I don't have to feel awkward with him.

"Do you think my parents will look after me?" I asked all of the sudden.

We're inside his room. I prefer here because this is my comfort zone and if my parents would allow me, I'll live here forever with him. But I know it's too impossible.

"Why not?" He asked back. "You're still their child. You are their responsibility."

I never thought hearing the word "responsibility" hurts me so much. I just can't elude what's inevitable.

He sighed and I looked down because tears are slowly pooling over my eyes.

"They love you, Alpha." He said as he walked towards me.

"How do you say so? When they can't even show their love for me."

He sat beside me and I watched his every move. He's wearing a v neck ashy shirt, revealing his collarbones. I really love them.

"It'll take time to forget the past, Alpha. It takes longer time to heal wounds."

"I'm bleeding too, Royal. I didn't even had any time to mourn." I whined under my breath and rolled my eyes in annoyance. Anger's starting to rule over me. "And why are they blaming me? How many times do I have to convince them that it was just an accident?"

I broke down into tears. It really hurts me so bad. That feeling when I want so bad to feel their love but all I could accept is their rants about how irresponsible I was as a sister. It wasn't my fault! It wasn't my plan to kill her. She's my sister for heaven's sake!

"Shsh." He shushed me in a soothing manner and I steeked immediately.

Until when I'll grapple? Every single day, every time I wake up and even every breath I take, I wish peole would treat me right. That they would stop accusing me for Omega's death. It wasn't my fault! It was just an accident!

"Everything will be alright, baby." He said and I nodded a bit.

Couple of weeks had gone and we're getting ready for the final semester in senior high school. We're getting closer. And maybe by March, we'll start practicing for our graduation march. I can't wait to move to grandma's house. I'm sure I'll be okay there. No one will remind me of the past. No one will accuse me for killing Omega because I know grandma believes in me. She believes that it was just an accident.

"How time flies so fast." Trixie blurted out. "Next year, we'll be in college. I'll probably miss you all, guys." She declared in her dramatic voice.

"We'll still see each other. Right, guys?' Angelika butted in.

"Of course!" Janrez quickly replied. "But I'm not sure with Alpha. She'll be moving to Italy, right?"

"Yeah," I replied in a bored manner. I then yawned because I felt like I wanted to take a nap.

We're still inside the coffee shop where we usually stay. We don't have any class today so we decided to dwell here and find some time to relax.

"You mean... you're willing to leave Philippines for Italy?" Via concluded and I grimaced because I didn't like her line.

"Of course not." I grimaced in disapproval. "You know my situation here, guys. And everytime I see our pool, it'll just remind me of my horrible past."

"Yeah," Janrez agreed in torpor. "But we all hope you'll get a better relationship with your parents."

"I hope so." I replied. "Mom loathes me. She's been accusing me about Omega's death."

"What's new, people?" Angelika scoffed. "You got nothing new to say but your mom accuses you for Omega's death." She then grimaced and rolled her eyes.

After a while, a group of boys came in and immediately wandered their eyes around. Obliviously, they got some attention of girls inside the cafeteria.

"There go the so called superstars." Via scoffed, referring to Lars' group.

"Why are they here?" I asked in furrowed brows.

"I have no idea." Angelika responded as she sipped her frapuccino.

"Me too." Seconded by Trixie, who's eating a piece of cake.

"Let's see." Janrez said confidently and I shrugged, brushing the topic off.