Chapter 180: Whitefall XXXV
The silhouette started at my call, scaring the absolute hells out of me. Cairn? Dammit. Just a minute. I could barely make out her frame in the shadow, hands wiping furiously at her face.
Shes fine. But what was she doing, standing alone by herself in the dark?
Heart still hammering in my throat, I silently cursed Vogrin and Kilvius both. With all the talk of monsters and abductions, they had me jumping at shadows, presuming the worst every time a nonhuman I cared about left my sight.
Can we come in?
We? Maya squawked. What the hells?
Sera peeked around the corner, tilting her head back vehemently. Out of time. Patrols headed this way.
In a bit of a bind, Maya, I pressed, looking between Sera and the door.
Maya unleashed a torrent of guttural profanity and ushered us in. I helped Alten guide the drephin womans body through the door, and Sera squeezed in last. Maya slammed the door behind us, still swearing. SeraI heard her more than saw herstumbled her way to the center of the room beneath the unlit chandelier, raising an arm. She snapped her fingers and a small orb of flame appeared, perilously bright, zipping towards the many candles.
Wait! Maya cried.
Light from the chandelier flooded the room, overwhelmingly bright.
I squinted, eyes adjusting slowly. Sera took a step away, visibly unsettled. Maya had her back to me. But even that was enough to take my breath away. White scar tissue carved cruel and jagged lines across her upper back and shoulders, criss-crossed patterns and odd splotches.
Holy shit, Sera said, jaw working slowly.
Mayas hands balled into fists. I still couldnt see her face. Barely visible above the line of her sleep clothes, there were deep in-set gouges across her shoulder blades larger than the rest. I realized they must have been where shed fastened her wings, during her descent into the sanctum.
This was how she looked without the glamour.
The tension was almost palpable as she stepped forward, directly into Seras space. Something to say, Princess? After you barge into my quarters uninvited?
Shockingly, Sera backed down, averting her gaze. Ino. Apologies for disturbing you so late at night, emissary.
Mayas shoulders sank, and the fight went out of her. Slowly, she turned around and faced me. A long gash ran diagonally from her eyebrow to her jaw. The skin around her eyes was puffy and a darker shade of purple, as if shed been crying. She gave me a helpless shrug that seemed to say, I told you. Then her eyes trailed down to the drephin at our feet. Payback, for what happened on the road?
Not exactly. As I brought her up to speed, leaving out any mention of Kilvius for now, I couldnt shake the feeling of wrongness, as if we were trespassing on something personal. Both Sera and Alten seemed profoundly uncomfortable, and Sera kept eyeing the door.
Of course. Once she had a grasp of the situation, Maya nodded and crouched over the drephin. Her fingertips glowed green as she pressed them to the womans forehead. Almost immediately, the elfs breathing steadied. Theres plenty of unused space in my closet. Ill do what I can for the head injury and monitor her.
Shes a slippery one, Alten warned as he and Sera maneuvered the drephin into the space Maya designated. Nearly got away from both of us.
Sure you can keep her contained? Sera asked, wiping her hands on her trousers.
Shouldnt be difficult, Maya said, utterly unfazed. My intention is to keep her in an induced coma, but should her mind manage to free itself, I made some temporary adjustments to her spinal column. Should our intruder regain consciousness, shes paralyzed from the neck down.
Thatll do it, Alten said grimly.
Sera shivered.
From her demeanor to her precise wording, Maya was doing an excellent job of appearing composed. But from the way she held her hands behind her back, and the frantic motions of her tail, I knew the intrusion and exposure of her disfigurement was wearing on her.
Its late. Lets pick this back up in the morning. Ill help Maya with the drephin and meet you back at the rooms, I told Alten. For a moment, it seemed as if he might argue. I wouldnt blame him if he did, considering the night wed had. Itll be alright, my friend. Were unlikely to see assassins twice in one night.
Alten hesitated and eventually nodded, leaving first.
Im not going to wake up tomorrow and find youve gone to the dungeons without me? Sera asked, her tone dangerous.
Yes. As we agreed.
My elder sister backed away with a smirk, and let herself out the door. As unfortunate as the timing of her intrusion was, I found myself grateful the distance between us had been closed so quickly. For now, at least, she was an unexpected ally. But it wasnt the first time Id felt that way. I touched my stomach, where shed stabbed me in my last life, grimacing. Sera could turn at the slightest provocation. I needed to be ready for it, if she did.
Is that going to be a problem? Maya asked. She hadnt moved since the others left, and even her breathing was shallow.
Only time will tell.
Surprised she didnt turn you in.
Same, I said, feeling distinctly as if I was talking around the bigger issue. Probably no malicious intent there. At least, not yet. Seras always looking for a way to prove herself, and for the moment at least, I handed her a big one.
Ah yes, the disappearing nonhumans. I noticed you coyly sidestepped explaining your source.
I shook my head. Look, Im breaking trust by telling you this, but considering our joint resolution to be more honest with each other, theres not much of a choice. Kilvius is in Whitefall. Heading up a syndicate group for Persephone.
Lord below. Mayas mouth tightened. Give the woman an inch and she takes a city.
Pretty much, I said, noticing her negligible reaction to Kilviuss presence. You already knew?
Not for certain. Maya bit her lip. But I thought I spotted him the other day during the return procession. So brief it was impossible to say for sure.
Hes angry with me.
Hes angry at everyone. You for bringing Thoth to our doorstep, Ralakos for enabling you and sponsoring your entry into the sanctum, me for refusing to stick my head in the ground and live out my life in feigned ignorance, and mother for abandoning him with Agarin.
Damn.
Mayas mouth turned downward, and she crossed her arms. Kilvius can preach all he likes. But mother was barely in the sanctum for half a year before he went running back to that half-blood bitch.
Elphion, Maya, I groaned. Hes your father. And he treated me well. Better than I deserved.
Maya hid a smile, sliding a finger across the circular rim of her goblet. Not to keep referencing your memories, but I had often wondered why youd continually turned down so many noble prospects. Beautiful as they were.
Rebellion and lack of interest, probably. There was nothing surprising about them, and there were times I was committed enough to hating my father that Id have rejected the best match in the world simply to stoke his ire. I couldnt help but chuckle at myself. How angry Id been even before Lillian, with so little reason for it. I set the goblet aside and focused the entirety of my attention on Maya. As the night went on, Id see past the scars. Discover the warm kindness of your smile. The gentle ring of your laughter, and the way it explodes from you, as if you were trying to hold it back and finally let it loose. The soft swell of your lips, and gentle curve of your neck. And My gaze wandered for just a second, before I reined it in. Lets just say Id be thoroughly captivated.
By what? Maya asked, leaning forward. Her breathing hitched, and the corners of her mouth turned up with a smile.
I tipped my goblet, only belatedly remembering that Id already finished its contents. Abusing your power already, I see.
She laughed and leaned back on her palms, blushing. Fine. Fine. I was only teasing. Lord below knows you had it coming.
What? I stared at her and scoffed. Baring my soul over here and youre tormenting me.
Maya moved close enough that I could feel her breath on my collarbone, looking at me with an intensity that easily frayed my nerves. Torment? Like the way you strung along a certain innocent infernal smitten with you for years with constant mixed signals, until it took a literal act of god to uncover how you feel, at which point you kissed her, only to subsequently fake your own demise and disappear? That sort of torment?
I squirmed. Leaving out a lot of context, but ultimately fair. And for what its worth, Im sorry. Its not like there was a handbook. I had the mind and body of a child with the memories of an adult. It was confusing enough to navigate. And it took a long time to realize that I was idealizing what Lillian and I had. That it was deeply flawed, long before he interfered.
At the mention of Lillian, Maya sat back, a shadow crossing her face.
Sorry, I said reflexively.
No. I know what she meant to you. And how deeply Infariss meddling must have cut, Maya said. She pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them. In many ways, Lillians memory is a reminder of the fragility of the connections we form. Im still mad at you. And a small part of me might always be angry. But every time I look inside and try to justify that anger as an excuse for pushing you away, that memory pops into my head. All I can think about is the sharpness of the blade we balance on. How easily it could all just fade away. And in those moments, I realize the truth.
Which is? I asked, not daring to hope.
Maya took my hand. Even if its hard. Even if it causes us more pain down the line than remaining separate. I have waited long enough. And I dont want to wait anymore.
I nodded, barely able to keep up. Then we take it slow. You were my first friend in this life. And you continue to be my greatest ally. I dont want to do anything to jeopardize what we have.
But not too slow. Maya drained the rest of her goblet, giving me a look I can only describe as a smolder. I stammered the beginning of a response, and she talked over me, eyes going to the rolled up bearskin. You were going to take me somewhere?
***
The brisk breeze of daybreak tore at my heels as I stepped out from the astronomy tower window, balancing carefully on the span-wide beam that ran the length of the eastern rooftop. I checked thoroughly for frost, difficult to detect on the beams chestnut stain, and held one hand out, carefully counter balancing the bearskin held beneath the other.
Is this really a good idea? Maya called after me. When I looked back, she was clinging to the window frame, her eyes were as wide as saucers.
Thing is, with you having my memories and all? Cant fall back on my usual tricks. Which means Im gonna have to get creative, I called back to her with a grin. Come on, this is way easier than getting out of the sepulcher.
That was a necessary risk! This feels very unnecessary!
Well, this was already saccharine. No harm in laying it on a little more.
I held out a hand. Do you trust me?
Maya scowled at me, then ducked back inside the window.
Okay. Clearly a no
Maya reappeared, planting a booted foot on the bottom of the frame and leaping from the window to the wider, flatter roof on the other side, clearing the gap and sticking the landing with a quick hop as she regained her footing, looking back at me with a shit-eating grin.
Werent you just whinging about gratuitous risks? I grumbled.
I was not whinging. Nor was I whining. Maya thought for a moment. Simply providing commentary on your tendency towards reckless excess.
They really beat politics into you, huh?
Rude!
She put her hands on her hips in mock sternness as I passed her. How much further?
What do you mean? I spread the bearskin over my shoulders and gestured behind her. Were here.
Maya turned and breathed out quietly.
Whitefall unfurled beneath us like a river of architecture. The diverse constructions rose from the streets coursing downward with a serene grace, weaving a current of stone and frost. As the sun ascended, its gold spilled over the city walls in a languid cascade of light and dark, shifting with slow and deliberate rhythm, as the capital roused and greeted the dawn. Small mounds of wind-swept snow dotted the streets, bestowing a placid serenity, transforming the frostbitten city into a shimmering, peaceful ocean of eternal winter.
She turned back towards me, and I was delighted to see the dazed, slack expression.
Thought youd see this coming once we started climbing the astronomy tower. I said, sliding down the gable and gesturing for her to join me beneath the bearskin. Maya held the comforter up to her neck and slid closer until her shoulders touched mine. Not as magical as the Everwood, I know.
Maya shifted her head back and forth, noncommittally. Fewer bugs.
Considerably.
She was silent for a long time. So long I began to wonder if something was wrong. When she spoke, her voice was barely a whisper. Have you given any thought to the state of your soul, nilend?
Maya was referring, of course, to the deal Id made. Leveraging my soul for the support of a demonic legion. While Id done initial study on the topic, it felt presumptive to put real time into the problem. It wouldnt be relevant until I survived this power-struggle with Thoth, and Ragnarok after her. Probably less than I should.
Youll need to do so. It was more a statement than a question. For my sake, if not yours.
Thats asking a lot. I leaned my head against the gable. The truth was, I wasnt sure Id have it in me, once it was all said and done. I was tired. Had been for a while. To the point where, in moments of relative peacethis last week as a prime exampleI couldnt seem to relax anymore. Every time I turned a corner, crested a hill, I half-expected Thoth to be there. And every time she wasnt, instead of feeling better, I worried what she was doing in her absence.
She will not always hold the axe over our head, nilend. Once she is scattered to the winds, you have a whole life to live, Maya said, as if shed read my mind.
Well figure it out, I said.
And for the first time, I believed we would.
Maya and I talked well into the morning about nothing in particular, enjoying the utter absence of distance and barriers that had prevailed since my return. And for a moment that was as infinite as it was fleeting, my fear of the future faded away.
