Chapter 49: Enclave XIX
I found myself wondering how my father did it. At some point in his life, he must have felt something. Guilt at the very least, if not remorse. Yet, he remained completely unflappable and unconcerned. I could chalk it up to him being a homicidal monster, but in reality, that wasnt true. He didnt care for his children, but Id seen him treat my mother kindly on more than one occasion, when there was no pragmatic reason for doing so. He had sired a few wartime bastards in the early years of their marriage, but there were no whispers or rumors of more recent indiscretions. So it stood to reason that he felt something for her. Thus, reductively speaking, he felt something. Just less.
I didnt want to be like my father. The very idea of it was nauseating. But if it meant quieting the ocean of turmoil within me, maybe there was something to be learned from him.
If youve recovered enough, try to unsettle the target. Ralakoss deep voice roused me from my thoughts, back to the matter at hand. I focused, digging deep for the rage, sending the ocean of my mental landscape into an uproar. I let it flow outward towards the paper construction on a table five feet awaya horse made from folding paperand felt a slight adulation as the current of air rippled through the hairs on my arm.
The paper horse lifted onto its back legs, as if intending to rear-up, only to suddenly and anticlimactically change its mind. I growled deep in my throat, fist clenching in frustration. I could remember it like it was yesterday, picking up the demons like they were nothing and hurling them to the side. The difference between that night and today was so drastic it was almost painful.
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Ralakos was delighted to hear the news of my second awakening, tossing around overly complimentary terms like, Prodigy, and, Genius. Words that had generally never been applied to me before. His enthusiasm shined brightly, even when he witnessed the paltry nature of my current ability. I didnt understand why. Compared to the demon-fire, air magic was practically useless, even in its most raw elemental formwhich was, coincidentally the only form I could use. I mumbled something along those lines to Ralakos, who just shook his head in that infuriatingly cryptic, sage manner of his.
You are being too practical by half. What would you say of a miner who discards a gem embedded in stone for the exposed bronze that lay next to it, just because it is less bothersome to trade? Ralakos asked.
A terrible miner, I groused. His expression turned chiding and strangely morose.
Yes. Because only a fool trades exponential long-term growth for short-term gain.
In something of a rare series of events, hed escorted me past the personal library we typically held our lessons in, up the long winding stairs of the foyer, and through a maze of halls to a private training area adjacent to his study.
I took this to mean he was finally taking me seriously.
Instead of traditional targets like straw-men or rings, there were a series of crystal spheres that measured magical output to the decimal point. Some of them stood alone on posts. Others were mounted on the branches of something that looked very much like a wire tree. The idea was, when you hit it, it would rotate, forcing you to adjust your aim for movement while measuring the strength mana imbuing the element.
Ralakos admitted to me they werent particularly accurate for anything other than measuring raw output of mana. He demonstrated this by casting three spells. A simple fire bolt, a spout of water, and a rock the size of my fist. The level of force exuded by his magic increased exponentially with each spell, ending with the boulder, which sent the iron tree spinning frantically. Yet, each of them showed the same number. The demonic marker for twenty-five, exactly halfway on the scale.
A marker of one was so small even the most recently awakened child could manage it, while a marker of fifty generally only resulted from the type of spells you were better off not casting inside, especially in a warded room.
But even in elemental form, the slight breeze that resulted from my attempt at air magic didnt even register. In a flash of heat, I sent a simple fireball at the nearest target sphere. It lit up with a dull red, showing the indicator for thirteen.
No matter what I tried, the gust of air didnt summon a number. Hence, the paper horse. Casting air magic felt fundamentally different than demon-fire. Demon-fire felt like creating something from nothing. One moment it was there, the next, it was gone. Air magic was like trying to access an invisible and intangible network that connected the world. It just felt too big.
I tried everything. Compressing it in my palm down to a single point and using my hands to shape the direction. Putting more muscle into the movement. It felt silly and childish.
Worse, it took significantly more mana than the demon fire. In less than a half-hour Id tapped myself out, sweat beading on my forehead, my vision graying around the edges.
And the stupid horse hadnt moved.
Things have changed. Back then, you represented a vague packaging of unpleasantness with little upside. Then you demonstrated your value. That little trade deal with the dwarves was a stroke of brilliance. Ralakos drew water from an octagonal receptacle in the corner. The water flowed around his arms in a diagonal loop. I watched, feeling more than a little envious. Spell weaving was often beautiful to look at, filled with complex motions and intricate entwining of mana and elemental particleselemental was, by comparison, rather crude. But Ralakos was hadnt generated this water, he had drawn it, meaning that what I was seeing was pure elemental manipulation. The level of control was unbelievable.
Youre not worried about her at all? I asked dubiously. The water jumped from receptacle to receptacle, occasionally reversing or defying gravity altogether.
Ralakos scoffed. Im always worried about Ephira. The woman is as attached to gold as she is unbound from reality. Theres no trusting a person like that. Predicting them, on the other hand, is easy.
I mulled that over, feeling the strange prickling of my pores as I absorbed the surrounding mana from the air. If material gain is her goal, its possible that she is being bribed by an outside entity.
The water darted at my face, and I dodged, glaring at Ralakos.
Just making sure youre maintaining presence of mind, Ralakos said. And youre massively underestimating the amount of gold generated by the sanctum, and by extension, Ephira.
It was true that I didnt know much to that end. There was so much nuance to the arcane side of the Enclave that I hadnt paid much attention to the economics.
So she cant be bought.
He waggled a finger at me. I didnt say that. More that the price to buy her is likely so exorbitant that any looking to do so would likely resort to other means. Blood is always cheaper than diplomacy.
The water hopped towards the container nearest me, directly over the paper horse. I reached out one last time with the air, picturing a sideways cup. The stream of water impacted the invisible barrier and rained in a deluge down onto the paper horse below, knocking it over.
I nearly let out a whoop of triumph beforein a demonstration of insufferable showmanshipthe stream of water seemed to move in reverse down to the movement of the individual drips, gathering on the podium and righting the paper horse. I watched, slack jawed, as the constructed paperonce waterlogged and flattenedbecame as dry as the moment Ralakos had built it.
I glared at him.
Thats cheating, counselor.
Besmirching a respectable infernals honor. How crude. Ralakos said, flicking his wrist absentmindedly and sending the stream of water back into the original stone receptacle You know, I just realized what you need.
What?
Accessing a newly awakened element is difficult for any magician, but it should not be this difficult. You have not been classically trained, so that explains the lack of potency. Still, having seen the dantalion for myself, your abilities should not be this deficient. I would wager self-doubt is your primary obstacle. Stress is a factor of course, it always is, but at the moment you are having trouble feeling the element itself.
So whats the solution? I asked. It hard to pin down what works when nothing I do seems to result in significant gain.
If you yolk an ox, they learn quickly how to make efficient movements to lessen the strain of the load. You need a yolk.
I suddenly had a vague notion of what he was talking about and shivered slightly, remembering a wooden sword striking the ground so hard it kicked up dirt.
You need a void magician. And I know just the one. Ralakos smiled.
