Chapter 835

Xu Heng kept silent for a long time and looked at me like this. After a while, he smiled bitterly and said: "I never thought about my tomorrow, nor what is the future. A man with a full brain filled with hatred may not want to think about so much, to challenge the rules, to destroy the laws that I can't stand. They all sound good, can hypnotize himself, and firm the belief of revenge excuse? I'm not very clear myself, but everyone who has done something bad and done something wrong is willing to find a reason for himself, isn't it? I didn't really think about what happened after I retaliated against long Xiaotian until I came back to Beitian, because there was only one thing in my heart in recent years. I live and die for it. I really don't care. So how to live or how to die, I don't care. I just drift with the flow. I've been wandering outside these years, and I'm not so alive? It seems to be a natural thing to kill long Xiaotian and then run away. I don't need to think about it at all, but who would have expected that one day in a certain year before everything came, in a certain city, I met such a little girl who was betrayed and abandoned by her companion, just like I was betrayed and abandoned by the society, by the so-called justice. It's a bit of sympathy with each other Mo yiruan took her away. Loneliness is a terrible thing. At first, I just sympathized with her and pitied her. Later, I slowly took her as my sister's double. Later, I unconsciously took her as my sister. So I was aloof, indifferent and merciless. I told her everything, including that I wanted to revenge on long Xiaotian who was me I didn't plan to let her participate in this matter. I tried my best to stop it, but she still joined in. She went to Beitian earlier than me and waited for me for more than a month. When I knew that she was also in Beitian, it was a time when I had to start. At that time, I just cheated Xiao Zhanhe into the materials for reporting dragon Xiaotian, and I had to deal with green snake The barbarians and their animals, on the one hand, have to appease the girl who is dead or alive. They are afraid that she will run to get revenge on long Xiaotian, and they are also afraid that my friends, especially the green snake, will know that Xiao Nuo is really a snake. He is suspicious and ruthless, but he has a very smart head. As long as he suspects that I have left a hand for him, it doesn't need to be very practical Evidence, he will kill me, so I let Xiao Nuo come to this hotel, open that room, and live here quietly. I told her that her identity and this room are the best cover for me, Mr. Chu. You are right. She tied you up, which I didn't expect. I am too self-centered. I am used to living alone, and I can't help but live with things Subjectively, I didn't pay attention to the gun you shot me, so I ignored Xiaoyou's feelings. In fact, if someone shot her, I couldn't stand it. The reason why I was angry was that she exposed herself. Once the police went to check her account, they found that I helped her move around, and then contacted me before and after the crime She has been staying in Beitian for a long time, and her life is over "

" then why don't you take her with you? " I said, "Why are you looking for me? If you don't let her come to me, she won't be exposed, and the police won't be able to check her for no reason. Can you beg me again? Before that, you thought about turning yourself in, didn't you? "

Xu Heng doesn't answer the question, "Mr. Chu knows why the girl has to help me get revenge?"

In a daze, I felt that there was a correct answer in my heart, but I shook my head.

"She is afraid, afraid that I will go to the end of the world after I get revenge on long Xiaotian, then she will become a lonely person again. For her, I am the only family member in the world, and I will become a criminal together, just so that I can't find an excuse to put her aside." Xu Hengxiang is envious, and it seems to be self mocking: "Mr. Chu has family and friends, maybe, can't It's really terrible to understand loneliness. It takes great courage to live alone. Compared with death, it's nothing. "

Yes, I've never been lonely, but I'm not totally unable to understand their thoughts

" people are very strange animals. Many times, they can't understand themselves. We don't know how to think about our own not Come, but always worry about the future of others, "Xu Heng said with emotion:" she is not afraid of crime, because I am not afraid to lose my head, because she, I can't take her to the end of the world, and I can't live those days that can't see the sun, and I have to worry all the time, I can't let her be a criminal like me, and I have to tell her that the things I have done, in fact It's all wrong, it's a price to pay, so I have to turn myself in, because she is my sister, the only family member I have now. She should live well and live openly. I think about it many times. Why I took her out of that city at the beginning, the answer is the same, because I want to give her a future, not destroy her future "

I only know that Xu Heng surrendered himself because of God's blessing, but I don't know what gave him such courage. Now I know that it's the responsibility to be a family member and a brother. Xu Heng drove me and Dong Xiaoye back home. In order not to be met by the police, the car stopped a little distance from the community. On the way, we didn't talk again, straight When I got out of the car, I took the little winter night out of the car and carried it on my back. Then I said to Xu Heng, who had not been in the car all the time, "there is no point in showing off. You don't need to please me, and I don't lack your human feelings. You turn yourself in and take your credit. If I want to, I've already got it. As for her," I looked at the tiger sister who was in a coma and said, "she won't care. "Xu Heng asked with a smile, "Mr. Chu doesn't really think that if I turn myself in, I can have a trace of life?"? Ha ha, I don't want this credit for nothing. "

I looked at him indifferently and said, "surrender and want to die are two concepts. Which one do you belong to?"

Xu Heng's expression is smothering, and his smile is not so natural. "Is there any difference?"

"There is no difference for me. I can not catch you, but I can't stop you from turning yourself in. You come out on your own. You are the creator of life and death. I am curious." I said: "you seem sincere and I take out my heart and lungs. What you say is not necessarily a lie, but not all the truth?"

Xu Heng just smiled and didn't answer, but his eyes were obviously dodging something.

I sighed and said: "in fact, I've been doing one thing recently. I've been devoting myself to it. I've put all my energy into it, and it's getting closer to success. But I don't have a sense of achievement. Instead, I'm getting more and more scared and confused. With the clear results, my expectations have been growing day by day. Suddenly, they have plummeted. I began to think about this goal After that, what should I do next? Just like you are now, when you finish your goal, you have to say goodbye to your past life. But I'm used to my previous life. Facing the inevitable changes in the future, I have no confidence and motivation. Every time I think of it, I have an urge to die, because I can't seem to find the purpose of living, and it's too difficult to start from scratch "

Xu Heng stopped laughing, as if he had been hit by the most vulnerable concealment in his heart. There were some flusters in his eyes, some twitches in the corners of his mouth, and he seemed to want to talk, but he didn't know what to say.

I smiled with emotion, turned around and walked towards home with my back on winter night, raised my hand and said: "the tomboy is very pitiful. My parents don't want her, my relatives don't want her, and I've been cheated by others. I finally met a person who thought he wouldn't cheat her, but the one who would cheat her the most"

"Mr. Chu!" Xu Heng yelled at me, but when I looked back, he didn't know what to say. After a while, he said, "you promised to be friends with Xiao you, didn't you?"

"Yes." I said simply.

"Can you not tell her what you just said?" Xu Heng's words are no different from his acquiescence in my guess.

Sure enough, his motive of turning himself in is not only for God's protection, but also for himself. He turns himself in because he has lost the faith or motivation to live and wants to die.

"As I said, although surrender or want to die are two concepts, there is no difference for me. Even if you don't want to die, you should also take responsibility for what you have done. I admire the courage of you to take responsibility. Although you have piled up so many nice and great excuses in front of the tomboy, you just hope that the tomboy will be honest in the future As a human being, you left her with an image of knowing the wrong, being able to change, being brave to bear, being magnanimous and tall. I have no reason to destroy these positive and imitative things, even if it is not completely true. "

"Thank you" Xu hengxiao's joy, but also smile bitterly.

"You're welcome." I smile bitterly, also smile happily.

Xu Heng may be a smart, insidious and cruel person, but as I felt at the beginning, he is not an unforgettable person, and "sinner" is the definition of him in this society. His crime is forced out by the society. Unfortunately, the law cannot convict the society, so he can only be convicted.

Xu Heng is the victim of this sad society. No one can say that he is innocent, but only hope that his crime can make more people realize that some things have been above the law and rules, that is unreasonable existence, that is an undeserved phenomenon, that is the tragedy of the society

what I can do is just for the person who is willing to be the victim, a little bit psychologically So I agreed to his request.

Xu Heng is right. I was tortured by Stockholm syndrome, and I didn't think he deserved to die. So, like him, I found an excuse to cover up my cowardice - I don't want to be a hero, I don't want to be an accomplice of this distressing society, so I don't want to catch him

in the current era, in the current society we live in, I'm alone It's not shameful, but it's just a matter of mind