Chapter 718
I know this is the inevitable question of Chu Yuan and the answer I am destined to face, but I never thought that this shy girl would condense the answer to this question into three words with such impact.
My heart has been pulled into a thin line, intertwined and disordered, so that my head can't be found. I can feel the rigidity of facial muscles, and the corners of my mouth, twitch like wry smirk. "I've known for a long time, you like it"
"not like it, it's love!" Chu Yuan's emphasis is loud this time, but then the voice is like alpine skiing, falling rapidly. "You say 'don't like' and 'hate', then I say 'like' and 'love' are not the same, I don't like Cheng Liusu, because I like you, I hate Cheng Liusu, because I love you"
"you little girl, know what love is ?”
"I know! Love is the love that covers up, love is the love that doesn't need to cover up! " Chu Yuan's lips were shaking, her eyelashes were shaking, her body was shaking, her voice was shaking, but she still summoned all her courage, looked into my eyes, and said, "I wanted to tell you for a long time, I wanted to tell you when I was very young, but I don't know why I always wanted to cover up. I regretted my death after you left home after graduation from university. I can't remember and can't remember I don't want to think about how I survived that year. I can't stand such a day. I look forward to the relocation of the school every day. Finally, when that day comes, I become the only one who doesn't complain and complain. I summon up my courage to say to my parents that I want to move in with you. I do. I think it's a chance for God to make up for me. I began to learn to be brave, but I started to I don't know how to hide it, how to tell you what I'm thinking, until now - I don't have to worry anymore, because you already know, I still want to hide it, but I have no way to hide it, so I can finally determine that it's love, no longer like it! "
A flash of lightning tore the sky above her head, and a thunderclap exploded in the crack. This was the thing that Chu Yuan was most afraid of. But at the moment, she had no response. So I knew that what she was more afraid of was my answer
maybe Chu Yuan thought that she had expected the answer for a long time, so she grabbed my hand and refused to release it.
Maybe I also think that I have known the answer for a long time, so I agreed to her request without hesitation.
But we are all wrong.
It's love, no longer like when this sentence and that thunder poured into my ears, I suddenly found that the secular moral vision is not as penetrating as I imagined, and the shackles of ethics and ethics are not as heavy as I imagined, penetrating, is the voice of Chu Yuan's heart breaking, which makes me feel heavy, and is her heartache.
I smiled. I couldn't tell the taste of the smile. I was a little scared. I was a little vain. I was a little bitter. I was a little sweet?
"You can laugh," the simple Chu Yuan couldn't see through the complicated me. She bit the bloodless lower lip, forced herself not to lose to fear, forced herself not to cry and admit her vulnerability. She wanted to laugh at herself, but for the first time, the beautiful self smiled with ugly expression, ugly so haggard, ugly, so lovely. "Laughing, I'm not only a small fart child, but also It's a little boy with twisted psychology and perversity. I always pretend to hate you, but now I say I love you naively, but I tell you, I'm not sick! Sick is the world! Dad and mom are just the reason why I met you. Why is that the reason why I can't like you or love you?! If you change one reason, if you change one reason, if you change one reason, if you change one reason, if you change one reason, if you can't breathe, Chu Yuan can't even say the next word because of her choking. Between her, my back is inlaid. "Whoa -" a sound, Chu Yuan is crying. She is still crying. She is crying.
She fell into my arms and put her left hand close to mine in her heart, as if to make me feel the pain of her tearing. The blood on the back of my hand seemed to flow out of her heart. She hit my shoulder with her weak right hand, "why? Why? Why is this wrong? Why is this wrong? Why can mom and dad be together forever, can't you and I be together forever? Why am I the closest person to you, but I can only watch others reasonably take you away? Why do I just want to stay with you, are unreasonable? unfair! This world is too unfair to me! Let me meet you, but let me be your sister! "
Every word and word of Chu Yuan is beating my heart. I can't answer her "why", even any "why", which I can't answer. I can't tell the taste in my heart, except for a little comfort at the moment - Chu Yuan finally cried, and finally didn't need to suppress the secret of heart, let it destroy the weak self.
Just now, I'm afraid that Chu Yuan, who refuses to cry, will pass out in such a breath. At that moment, there is only despair in her face and her eyes, and there is no even a trace of vitalityI don't know if she was afraid of "loss" at that moment, but I am sure that I am afraid of her despair and what I will lose? God knows, but when this girl pours into my arms and wails, when she still hasn't let go of our clasped hands, when I abide by the agreement and haven't let go of her hands, when I hug her and touch her head as usual, I feel that I won't lose
life is like a note, with the happiness I expect to write in a limited number of pages
however However, the appearance of someone and the disappearance of someone tear up all the blank pages that have not been described yet
since then, happiness has no place to write
since then, the disillusionment of vision etc.
Yes, if there is no happiness of Chu Yuan in my life, then how to describe happiness in my blank pages?
Maybe I never dreamed, so I don't know what is disillusionment, but if there is no place to write happiness, the result must be disillusionment.
If the emergence of disillusionment is doomed to make Chuyuan's happiness disappear from my notes, then
go + his + mother + disillusionment!
, and
sitting in the last row of the last bus, Chu Yuan, who was already tired of crying, was still sobbing. He put his arms around me for fear that I would slip away like a drop of water on the window if he didn't pay attention to it In the eyes, apart from ambiguity, it's still ambiguity
two men and women who are all wet -- a crying girl, a young man with a calm face, clasped tightly to each other's hands and snuggled up silently together. The girl is so delicate and beautiful. If I see this scene, I can't help being curious, and I will take it for granted that they have stories Along the way, Chu Yuan didn't speak any more. I know that she needs to calm her mind, and I also need to reorganize my mind.
The most difficult person to face is always myself. I thought that I was an alternative who could stand on an objective position and have a dialogue with myself, and finally chose to have a dialogue with Chu Yuan, which also proved that I could do this - I had the same psychological problems as Chu Yuan, so if I could not objectively jump out to see myself, I would not admit this, and then I would be subjective Knowing the trend, like in the past, I chose to escape and deceive myself in order not to bear the heavy weight of those weird eyes and ethical shackles
but now, Chu Yuan's questioning and tears, let me fall into a kind of chaos, I can't tell whether I'm still objective - I'm not without the courage to hurt myself, but I'm not brave to hurt Chu Yuan
Chu Yuan is not It's said that she only said what she was afraid of losing, but my feelings are still unsolved for me, and the only thing I know is that I can't persuade myself to give Chu Yuan any more harm, even if I know clearly that the feelings of my brother and sister are not tolerated by this society, but I'm still confused about the emotional problems. I'm not long gone Is there a society that tolerates it?
I don't know if I am using contempt for this society to hypnotize the objective self-consciousness of subjectiveness, but I am sure that, like Chu Yuan, I have my own bottom line, and we are not allowed to cross our own bottom line.
Chu Yuan's bottom line is to hold hands even if you lose everything. Then my bottom line is to lose everything and never let go!
My heart has been pulled into a thin line, intertwined and disordered, so that my head can't be found. I can feel the rigidity of facial muscles, and the corners of my mouth, twitch like wry smirk. "I've known for a long time, you like it"
"not like it, it's love!" Chu Yuan's emphasis is loud this time, but then the voice is like alpine skiing, falling rapidly. "You say 'don't like' and 'hate', then I say 'like' and 'love' are not the same, I don't like Cheng Liusu, because I like you, I hate Cheng Liusu, because I love you"
"you little girl, know what love is ?”
"I know! Love is the love that covers up, love is the love that doesn't need to cover up! " Chu Yuan's lips were shaking, her eyelashes were shaking, her body was shaking, her voice was shaking, but she still summoned all her courage, looked into my eyes, and said, "I wanted to tell you for a long time, I wanted to tell you when I was very young, but I don't know why I always wanted to cover up. I regretted my death after you left home after graduation from university. I can't remember and can't remember I don't want to think about how I survived that year. I can't stand such a day. I look forward to the relocation of the school every day. Finally, when that day comes, I become the only one who doesn't complain and complain. I summon up my courage to say to my parents that I want to move in with you. I do. I think it's a chance for God to make up for me. I began to learn to be brave, but I started to I don't know how to hide it, how to tell you what I'm thinking, until now - I don't have to worry anymore, because you already know, I still want to hide it, but I have no way to hide it, so I can finally determine that it's love, no longer like it! "
A flash of lightning tore the sky above her head, and a thunderclap exploded in the crack. This was the thing that Chu Yuan was most afraid of. But at the moment, she had no response. So I knew that what she was more afraid of was my answer
maybe Chu Yuan thought that she had expected the answer for a long time, so she grabbed my hand and refused to release it.
Maybe I also think that I have known the answer for a long time, so I agreed to her request without hesitation.
But we are all wrong.
It's love, no longer like when this sentence and that thunder poured into my ears, I suddenly found that the secular moral vision is not as penetrating as I imagined, and the shackles of ethics and ethics are not as heavy as I imagined, penetrating, is the voice of Chu Yuan's heart breaking, which makes me feel heavy, and is her heartache.
I smiled. I couldn't tell the taste of the smile. I was a little scared. I was a little vain. I was a little bitter. I was a little sweet?
"You can laugh," the simple Chu Yuan couldn't see through the complicated me. She bit the bloodless lower lip, forced herself not to lose to fear, forced herself not to cry and admit her vulnerability. She wanted to laugh at herself, but for the first time, the beautiful self smiled with ugly expression, ugly so haggard, ugly, so lovely. "Laughing, I'm not only a small fart child, but also It's a little boy with twisted psychology and perversity. I always pretend to hate you, but now I say I love you naively, but I tell you, I'm not sick! Sick is the world! Dad and mom are just the reason why I met you. Why is that the reason why I can't like you or love you?! If you change one reason, if you change one reason, if you change one reason, if you change one reason, if you change one reason, if you can't breathe, Chu Yuan can't even say the next word because of her choking. Between her, my back is inlaid. "Whoa -" a sound, Chu Yuan is crying. She is still crying. She is crying.
She fell into my arms and put her left hand close to mine in her heart, as if to make me feel the pain of her tearing. The blood on the back of my hand seemed to flow out of her heart. She hit my shoulder with her weak right hand, "why? Why? Why is this wrong? Why is this wrong? Why can mom and dad be together forever, can't you and I be together forever? Why am I the closest person to you, but I can only watch others reasonably take you away? Why do I just want to stay with you, are unreasonable? unfair! This world is too unfair to me! Let me meet you, but let me be your sister! "
Every word and word of Chu Yuan is beating my heart. I can't answer her "why", even any "why", which I can't answer. I can't tell the taste in my heart, except for a little comfort at the moment - Chu Yuan finally cried, and finally didn't need to suppress the secret of heart, let it destroy the weak self.
Just now, I'm afraid that Chu Yuan, who refuses to cry, will pass out in such a breath. At that moment, there is only despair in her face and her eyes, and there is no even a trace of vitalityI don't know if she was afraid of "loss" at that moment, but I am sure that I am afraid of her despair and what I will lose? God knows, but when this girl pours into my arms and wails, when she still hasn't let go of our clasped hands, when I abide by the agreement and haven't let go of her hands, when I hug her and touch her head as usual, I feel that I won't lose
life is like a note, with the happiness I expect to write in a limited number of pages
however However, the appearance of someone and the disappearance of someone tear up all the blank pages that have not been described yet
since then, happiness has no place to write
since then, the disillusionment of vision etc.
Yes, if there is no happiness of Chu Yuan in my life, then how to describe happiness in my blank pages?
Maybe I never dreamed, so I don't know what is disillusionment, but if there is no place to write happiness, the result must be disillusionment.
If the emergence of disillusionment is doomed to make Chuyuan's happiness disappear from my notes, then
go + his + mother + disillusionment!
, and
sitting in the last row of the last bus, Chu Yuan, who was already tired of crying, was still sobbing. He put his arms around me for fear that I would slip away like a drop of water on the window if he didn't pay attention to it In the eyes, apart from ambiguity, it's still ambiguity
two men and women who are all wet -- a crying girl, a young man with a calm face, clasped tightly to each other's hands and snuggled up silently together. The girl is so delicate and beautiful. If I see this scene, I can't help being curious, and I will take it for granted that they have stories Along the way, Chu Yuan didn't speak any more. I know that she needs to calm her mind, and I also need to reorganize my mind.
The most difficult person to face is always myself. I thought that I was an alternative who could stand on an objective position and have a dialogue with myself, and finally chose to have a dialogue with Chu Yuan, which also proved that I could do this - I had the same psychological problems as Chu Yuan, so if I could not objectively jump out to see myself, I would not admit this, and then I would be subjective Knowing the trend, like in the past, I chose to escape and deceive myself in order not to bear the heavy weight of those weird eyes and ethical shackles
but now, Chu Yuan's questioning and tears, let me fall into a kind of chaos, I can't tell whether I'm still objective - I'm not without the courage to hurt myself, but I'm not brave to hurt Chu Yuan
Chu Yuan is not It's said that she only said what she was afraid of losing, but my feelings are still unsolved for me, and the only thing I know is that I can't persuade myself to give Chu Yuan any more harm, even if I know clearly that the feelings of my brother and sister are not tolerated by this society, but I'm still confused about the emotional problems. I'm not long gone Is there a society that tolerates it?
I don't know if I am using contempt for this society to hypnotize the objective self-consciousness of subjectiveness, but I am sure that, like Chu Yuan, I have my own bottom line, and we are not allowed to cross our own bottom line.
Chu Yuan's bottom line is to hold hands even if you lose everything. Then my bottom line is to lose everything and never let go!