18 Demise And Vicissitude
Pardon my mistakes...
i was so lost in my thoughts sitting out in the lawn chair in cool breeze the wind blowing my hair wasps to the right side of my face i wasn't even bothered about removing them, how was my life once how had it become now so painful and worthless fresh tears formed in my eyes on remembrance of Remus words 'i hate you', his words are stabbing my heart silent tears rolled down my cheeks.
abruptly a knights body fell in front of me with the thud on the ground, just a feet before me i got up from the lawn chair terrified he was dead his body was totally drained his body looked so pale and there were two holes on side of his neck, the blood was smeared all over his neck, i felt like i lost my voice i wanted to scream out in agony by the scene before my eyes ,but nothing was coming out of my mouth, i stood there in complete whammy disable to scream, i felt a hand on my shoulder turning me around and engulfing me into hug "Zeri are you hurt" father asked in dread, i looked at him i was unable to answer him i was appalled he shrugged me holding my arms "Zeri, answer me" i was out of my consternation and answered "no" panicking my whole body was shaking father engulfed me into embrace and took me away from the scene inside the castle.
He took me to his chamber holding me close to him wrapping an arm around my shoulder and holding my other hand, he sat me down on his bed and sat beside me he took my hands into his tears formed in my eyes.
"Zeri what happened out there, who killed the knight have you seen" he asked.
"n-n-no. father" i replied still shaking, tears slipping down .
"it's alright Zeri i'm here" father said by pulling me into his chest, i wrapped my arms around him and silently sobbed in his chest, he caressed my hair cooing me he pulled away and wiped my tears cupping my face, the death of knight gave me a reason to cry my heart out in my father's arms, which i wanted do from the couples of weeks the tears which i cried in my solitude, in my pillow, in my lonely nights, i was in a situation where my father who loves me so much who will do anything to make me happy and who had done so much for my happiness, is in front of me but i can't tell him my pain, there was no one to share my pain with even Laura was gone her son was queasy and needed her, i can't be so selfish to keep a mother away from her son, she denied to go leaving me all alone in such dreadful situation, but i promised her that i will be fine and i won't cry i forced her to go i feel so alone without her ......,
father was so worried about the incident i saw the knight falling on the ground with my eyes, how could that happen his whole body was drained it was an horrible thing to ever encounter, i can't imagine what might his family must be going through.
i was walking back to my chamber wondering about what kind of animal would do that, though father said it was an animal attack but i don't think so it was any animal who did that perhaps it was an animal.
i left father chamber when he was talking about attack with Lord vettori and other knights he was being so desperate about the security of the castle i don't know what was making father so apprehensive that he was increasing knights in the castle, as i opened my chamber's door cold air hit my face, why always my balcony door is open i think i should lock it from tonight, i swiftly closed the door behind me and walked to close the balcony door when i was closing the door i saw something red glimmering at the edge of the gardens i walked out and tried to look at it the bright blood red eyes looking at me through the hood, in the blink of an eye it was gone, i was astounded i think it's happening due to stress and lack of sleep, i got inside and locked the door my chamber was so cold even my bed was cool, i laid on my bed and covered my self with the quilt.
i thought about the ball which is after three days, it can't be cancelled at this stage invitations were send to all the kingdoms, it was our time to held the ball for our new relation with Villintine kingdom, the part of me was happy to see Remus he won't talk to me but i could see him and that's fine for me, my heart will find bit of ease after seeing him, i hope that he will come.....
____________________
Ball Night
father has ordered this dark sea green color gown for me to wear in the ball, it was so magnificent, it was full sleeved and had aquamarine color parallel slanting line of stones on my sleeves circling them from shoulder to wrist, the gown from my stomach was covered with light sea green color net cloth which had some peace color spark-lings covered all over my stomach line, the drizzles of spark-lings reaching the end of the gown.
after long time i was kinda feeling good, i wore the gown Ela and Nina helped me getting ready, i was missing Laura she was the one always who helped me in getting ready and arranged things according to me, they two did their best in making me look presentable and they worked wonders on me, they literally made me look so enthralling my hair was braided into the side braid, leaving some curly wasps at the side of my face and some out of braid, i was wearing sapphire sea green necklace and matching earrings, i put on my brooch which was mended by my love, every time i remember him tears start pooling in my eyes, i sniffed and controlled my tears in front of them.
"you look so beautiful, Princess "
"you look so magnificent, Princess " they both said in unison looking at me through mirror, i smiled looking back at them and said "thank you Ela and Nina, you both made me look pretty"
i waited in my chamber i was beset about Remus, would he come or not i wanted to see him very badly i heard a knock on my already open door Nina stood there and said "Princess his majesty want you to come and join the ball and many of the guests has already arrived" i nodded in reply and followed her looking last time at myself in the mirror i wanted look my best for Remus.
As i was nearing the ball room i was getting excited and anxious, excited to see Remus and anxious for his absence, i halted myself just before the entrance of ball room afraid that what if he will not be there, Nina halted her steps and looked at me "Princess is there any problem" she asked, "no" i replied and entered into the ball room looking down as i entered the ball room, the whole room went silent and i can feel all the gazes on me, i didn't looked at anyone keeping my gaze down i walked towards my father following Nina, i held his arm and felt bit of relief "you look pretty my daughter" father said covering my hand with his which was on his arm i looked up at him and smiled" thank you father" now guest removed their gazes from me and moved back to their conversations, i looked all around the ball room but there was no one from Xenia.
I saw King Elrond and Queen Riven having conversation with our guests but Raiden was not with them he was nowhere to be seen, it's means he hasn't come he is the reason for all this pain and suffering of mine. I shouldn't blame him he said what he had in his heart it was my mistake to kiss him back I'm the one to be blamed not him.
I was getting depressed but i heard the commotion at the entrance of ball room "here comes his majesties close friends the King Edmund Zorla and Queen Aila Zorla with their sons Prince Remus Zion Zorla and Bloom Rey Zorla" as i heard his name i felt a relief in my heart as the commotion ended they entered the ball room, as soon as i saw Remus i felt like breathing again, as Remus saw me his mesmerizing smile was faded from his his face and he gave me an hatred look, which caused an piercing pain in my heart i looked away cause my heart can't bare hatred looks from him, i became overwhelmed and walked into antechamber, my heart felt an inexpressible pain, tears pooled in my eyes i don't want to cry i was controlling my tears, i was experiencing a intense pain in my throat due to controlling my tears, i didn't let a single tear leave my eye, i sniffed repeatedly and controlled myself,' you can do it Zeri control your emotions, don't let your emotions control you' i said to myself after wee minutes i walked out in the ball room, i found a perfect place from where i can see all the corners of ball room, i sat there and i started looking for my Prince, i found him he was having a conversation with Bloom and this person was not expected to be here and be with Remus, it was Ashley she was nerve-wrecking, after couple of minutes Bloom left them two alone, they both were giggling which caused an exquisite pain in my heart and angered me to my very core, i saw Bloom walking towards me with a glass of wine in his hand, he looked so desperate, i just looked at him with smile and he sat beside me, i faked a smile and asked "how are you Bloom" i thought he will believe me but after listening what he said, i was dumbfound, "you're a good actor Zeri, you disguised yourself well with your innocence and i never thought you would betray my brother, you're such a liar i let you go for Remus's happiness and foremost for your happiness, my brother loved you so much unconditionally but what you did you betrayed him" he infuriated, before i could say anything he said "i'm not done yet, i wouldn't have believed it but i saw it with my own eyes from carriage, when Remus came to Aaira for picking up Raiden i too came with him, Raiden waved at you and you waved back at him with a smile you weren't even bothered about my brother, when we reached Xenia he described me everything you did to him i saw it myself in how much pain my brother was and is, so this was your way of handling him huhh, you don't deserve Remus's love" he said and scrammed.
He didn't even gave me a chance to speak, i may not deserve his love but i didn't betray him and when did i waved back at him, the window through which i saw them was covered in fog and i was standing behind the drapes, i was at the edge of crying but i controlled myself with every second i was becoming uncontrollable, i saw Ashley and Remus getting close his hands were on her waist and her hands were wrapped around his neck, there was only mere difference left in between their bodies they were on the dance floor with others, my eyes were filled with tears and burning pain in my heart, he looked towards me and pulled her closer to him crossing the mere distance between them and smiled slyly their bodies were abutted and tears leaked from my eyes, now it was unendurable if i'll be here anymore i'll burst out into tears in front of everyone, so i just gave him a hurtful look and i wiped my tears looking at him, he was still staring at me i stood up i wanted to run away from their crying but i walked into antechamber before entering into antechamber, i looked at Remus who was adhered to Ashley and was still staring at me tears rolling down my eyes uncontrollably, and i ran away to the back wing of the castle which led to gardens, i opened the door and i was hit by the cold air, there were no knights guarding there so i took the advantage and ran out into the gardens tears making it difficult to run, so i stopped in the middle of the gardens and collapsed on the ground sobbing i wiped away my tears and started running again as i heard someone coming towards me "Zeri, stop where are you going" i halted running and turned around to look on hearing familiar voice, it was Remus " you shouldn't care about where i'm going when you hate me" i hollered and started running out of the gardens towards the woods,"Zeri please stop listen to me don't go in there i don't hate you please" he yelled whilst running behind me, i know he hates me he's lying so he can stop me from running into woods.
Ihalted running and turned around to look at him with teary eyes he stopped few feet away from me panting "but i hate you now" i sniffed turning my back on him, my braid was messed up due to running so i opened it tossing my hair behind.
Remus fiercely turned me around holding my waist " look at me" he yelled but i didn't so he grabbed my hair pulling my head back to look at him i groaned in pain holding his hand "you're hurting me Remus" i cried out.
" not as much as you hurt me Zeri" he infuriated looking into my tearful eyes "why don't you just go and be with your Ashley" i quoth my voice was breaking he tighten his grip on my hair and pulled back harshly my head was throbbing with pain and i cried out, " you're the one who betrayed me, your'e the one who kissed Raiden, you're the one who lied, i only loved you so much Zeri and i still do" he said his eyes softening and he let go of my hair caressing them, his eyes were full of tears i moved away from him angered " how many times do i have to tell you, i didn't betray you why don't you believe me Remus i agree i kissed him back i didn't wanted to kiss him but my body was working on it's own i was disable to stop myself" i yelled.
he smirked" what about you waving at him, when he was leaving your castle you didn't even came out to meet me, but you waved at him how can i believe you when i saw everything with my own eyes"
"i didn't waved at him, i only stood there and i didn't came out cause i thought you will come to meet me and even if i tried you would be gone until i come out there" i replied.
"stop lying i saw you waving at him"
"i didn't "
"you did"
"you don't deserve my love you're still lying" he stated.
he don't know how much he's hurting me, he's accusing me for the things i haven't done, punishing me for the mistakes i haven't made, i can't take it anymore
"okay fine i don't deserve your love, i'm a betrayer i'm the definition of every bad thing in the world, a person like me doesn't deserve to live you will know one day that i wasn't lying, you will regret it you will cry for me and miss me but i won't come back" i said acrimoniously and tears slid down my cheeks he was appalled on my words and didn't said a word, saying that i ran towards the woods, he was running behind me yelling my name but i didn't stop and kept running holding my gown i entered into the woods, everything was pitch dark inside i didn't understand where to go i heard Remus still hollering my name so i continued running deep inside the woods, i halted near the tree panting hard, it was chilling in here i sat down leaning against the tree, i closed my eyes and rested my head against it, i heard foot steps approaching towards me, but i didn't opened my eyes i was so tired due the running i did, the sound of foot steps stopped just in front of me, i thought i might be Remus and didn't opened my eyes, he started moving closer to me and stopped few inches away from my face, i felt his cool breath on my cheek i snapped open my eyes and found myself looking into bright blood red eyes, i was petrified and pushed him away letting out a scream......................................
i was so lost in my thoughts sitting out in the lawn chair in cool breeze the wind blowing my hair wasps to the right side of my face i wasn't even bothered about removing them, how was my life once how had it become now so painful and worthless fresh tears formed in my eyes on remembrance of Remus words 'i hate you', his words are stabbing my heart silent tears rolled down my cheeks.
abruptly a knights body fell in front of me with the thud on the ground, just a feet before me i got up from the lawn chair terrified he was dead his body was totally drained his body looked so pale and there were two holes on side of his neck, the blood was smeared all over his neck, i felt like i lost my voice i wanted to scream out in agony by the scene before my eyes ,but nothing was coming out of my mouth, i stood there in complete whammy disable to scream, i felt a hand on my shoulder turning me around and engulfing me into hug "Zeri are you hurt" father asked in dread, i looked at him i was unable to answer him i was appalled he shrugged me holding my arms "Zeri, answer me" i was out of my consternation and answered "no" panicking my whole body was shaking father engulfed me into embrace and took me away from the scene inside the castle.
He took me to his chamber holding me close to him wrapping an arm around my shoulder and holding my other hand, he sat me down on his bed and sat beside me he took my hands into his tears formed in my eyes.
"Zeri what happened out there, who killed the knight have you seen" he asked.
"n-n-no. father" i replied still shaking, tears slipping down .
"it's alright Zeri i'm here" father said by pulling me into his chest, i wrapped my arms around him and silently sobbed in his chest, he caressed my hair cooing me he pulled away and wiped my tears cupping my face, the death of knight gave me a reason to cry my heart out in my father's arms, which i wanted do from the couples of weeks the tears which i cried in my solitude, in my pillow, in my lonely nights, i was in a situation where my father who loves me so much who will do anything to make me happy and who had done so much for my happiness, is in front of me but i can't tell him my pain, there was no one to share my pain with even Laura was gone her son was queasy and needed her, i can't be so selfish to keep a mother away from her son, she denied to go leaving me all alone in such dreadful situation, but i promised her that i will be fine and i won't cry i forced her to go i feel so alone without her ......,
father was so worried about the incident i saw the knight falling on the ground with my eyes, how could that happen his whole body was drained it was an horrible thing to ever encounter, i can't imagine what might his family must be going through.
i was walking back to my chamber wondering about what kind of animal would do that, though father said it was an animal attack but i don't think so it was any animal who did that perhaps it was an animal.
i left father chamber when he was talking about attack with Lord vettori and other knights he was being so desperate about the security of the castle i don't know what was making father so apprehensive that he was increasing knights in the castle, as i opened my chamber's door cold air hit my face, why always my balcony door is open i think i should lock it from tonight, i swiftly closed the door behind me and walked to close the balcony door when i was closing the door i saw something red glimmering at the edge of the gardens i walked out and tried to look at it the bright blood red eyes looking at me through the hood, in the blink of an eye it was gone, i was astounded i think it's happening due to stress and lack of sleep, i got inside and locked the door my chamber was so cold even my bed was cool, i laid on my bed and covered my self with the quilt.
i thought about the ball which is after three days, it can't be cancelled at this stage invitations were send to all the kingdoms, it was our time to held the ball for our new relation with Villintine kingdom, the part of me was happy to see Remus he won't talk to me but i could see him and that's fine for me, my heart will find bit of ease after seeing him, i hope that he will come.....
____________________
Ball Night
father has ordered this dark sea green color gown for me to wear in the ball, it was so magnificent, it was full sleeved and had aquamarine color parallel slanting line of stones on my sleeves circling them from shoulder to wrist, the gown from my stomach was covered with light sea green color net cloth which had some peace color spark-lings covered all over my stomach line, the drizzles of spark-lings reaching the end of the gown.
after long time i was kinda feeling good, i wore the gown Ela and Nina helped me getting ready, i was missing Laura she was the one always who helped me in getting ready and arranged things according to me, they two did their best in making me look presentable and they worked wonders on me, they literally made me look so enthralling my hair was braided into the side braid, leaving some curly wasps at the side of my face and some out of braid, i was wearing sapphire sea green necklace and matching earrings, i put on my brooch which was mended by my love, every time i remember him tears start pooling in my eyes, i sniffed and controlled my tears in front of them.
"you look so beautiful, Princess "
"you look so magnificent, Princess " they both said in unison looking at me through mirror, i smiled looking back at them and said "thank you Ela and Nina, you both made me look pretty"
i waited in my chamber i was beset about Remus, would he come or not i wanted to see him very badly i heard a knock on my already open door Nina stood there and said "Princess his majesty want you to come and join the ball and many of the guests has already arrived" i nodded in reply and followed her looking last time at myself in the mirror i wanted look my best for Remus.
As i was nearing the ball room i was getting excited and anxious, excited to see Remus and anxious for his absence, i halted myself just before the entrance of ball room afraid that what if he will not be there, Nina halted her steps and looked at me "Princess is there any problem" she asked, "no" i replied and entered into the ball room looking down as i entered the ball room, the whole room went silent and i can feel all the gazes on me, i didn't looked at anyone keeping my gaze down i walked towards my father following Nina, i held his arm and felt bit of relief "you look pretty my daughter" father said covering my hand with his which was on his arm i looked up at him and smiled" thank you father" now guest removed their gazes from me and moved back to their conversations, i looked all around the ball room but there was no one from Xenia.
I saw King Elrond and Queen Riven having conversation with our guests but Raiden was not with them he was nowhere to be seen, it's means he hasn't come he is the reason for all this pain and suffering of mine. I shouldn't blame him he said what he had in his heart it was my mistake to kiss him back I'm the one to be blamed not him.
I was getting depressed but i heard the commotion at the entrance of ball room "here comes his majesties close friends the King Edmund Zorla and Queen Aila Zorla with their sons Prince Remus Zion Zorla and Bloom Rey Zorla" as i heard his name i felt a relief in my heart as the commotion ended they entered the ball room, as soon as i saw Remus i felt like breathing again, as Remus saw me his mesmerizing smile was faded from his his face and he gave me an hatred look, which caused an piercing pain in my heart i looked away cause my heart can't bare hatred looks from him, i became overwhelmed and walked into antechamber, my heart felt an inexpressible pain, tears pooled in my eyes i don't want to cry i was controlling my tears, i was experiencing a intense pain in my throat due to controlling my tears, i didn't let a single tear leave my eye, i sniffed repeatedly and controlled myself,' you can do it Zeri control your emotions, don't let your emotions control you' i said to myself after wee minutes i walked out in the ball room, i found a perfect place from where i can see all the corners of ball room, i sat there and i started looking for my Prince, i found him he was having a conversation with Bloom and this person was not expected to be here and be with Remus, it was Ashley she was nerve-wrecking, after couple of minutes Bloom left them two alone, they both were giggling which caused an exquisite pain in my heart and angered me to my very core, i saw Bloom walking towards me with a glass of wine in his hand, he looked so desperate, i just looked at him with smile and he sat beside me, i faked a smile and asked "how are you Bloom" i thought he will believe me but after listening what he said, i was dumbfound, "you're a good actor Zeri, you disguised yourself well with your innocence and i never thought you would betray my brother, you're such a liar i let you go for Remus's happiness and foremost for your happiness, my brother loved you so much unconditionally but what you did you betrayed him" he infuriated, before i could say anything he said "i'm not done yet, i wouldn't have believed it but i saw it with my own eyes from carriage, when Remus came to Aaira for picking up Raiden i too came with him, Raiden waved at you and you waved back at him with a smile you weren't even bothered about my brother, when we reached Xenia he described me everything you did to him i saw it myself in how much pain my brother was and is, so this was your way of handling him huhh, you don't deserve Remus's love" he said and scrammed.
He didn't even gave me a chance to speak, i may not deserve his love but i didn't betray him and when did i waved back at him, the window through which i saw them was covered in fog and i was standing behind the drapes, i was at the edge of crying but i controlled myself with every second i was becoming uncontrollable, i saw Ashley and Remus getting close his hands were on her waist and her hands were wrapped around his neck, there was only mere difference left in between their bodies they were on the dance floor with others, my eyes were filled with tears and burning pain in my heart, he looked towards me and pulled her closer to him crossing the mere distance between them and smiled slyly their bodies were abutted and tears leaked from my eyes, now it was unendurable if i'll be here anymore i'll burst out into tears in front of everyone, so i just gave him a hurtful look and i wiped my tears looking at him, he was still staring at me i stood up i wanted to run away from their crying but i walked into antechamber before entering into antechamber, i looked at Remus who was adhered to Ashley and was still staring at me tears rolling down my eyes uncontrollably, and i ran away to the back wing of the castle which led to gardens, i opened the door and i was hit by the cold air, there were no knights guarding there so i took the advantage and ran out into the gardens tears making it difficult to run, so i stopped in the middle of the gardens and collapsed on the ground sobbing i wiped away my tears and started running again as i heard someone coming towards me "Zeri, stop where are you going" i halted running and turned around to look on hearing familiar voice, it was Remus " you shouldn't care about where i'm going when you hate me" i hollered and started running out of the gardens towards the woods,"Zeri please stop listen to me don't go in there i don't hate you please" he yelled whilst running behind me, i know he hates me he's lying so he can stop me from running into woods.
Ihalted running and turned around to look at him with teary eyes he stopped few feet away from me panting "but i hate you now" i sniffed turning my back on him, my braid was messed up due to running so i opened it tossing my hair behind.
Remus fiercely turned me around holding my waist " look at me" he yelled but i didn't so he grabbed my hair pulling my head back to look at him i groaned in pain holding his hand "you're hurting me Remus" i cried out.
" not as much as you hurt me Zeri" he infuriated looking into my tearful eyes "why don't you just go and be with your Ashley" i quoth my voice was breaking he tighten his grip on my hair and pulled back harshly my head was throbbing with pain and i cried out, " you're the one who betrayed me, your'e the one who kissed Raiden, you're the one who lied, i only loved you so much Zeri and i still do" he said his eyes softening and he let go of my hair caressing them, his eyes were full of tears i moved away from him angered " how many times do i have to tell you, i didn't betray you why don't you believe me Remus i agree i kissed him back i didn't wanted to kiss him but my body was working on it's own i was disable to stop myself" i yelled.
he smirked" what about you waving at him, when he was leaving your castle you didn't even came out to meet me, but you waved at him how can i believe you when i saw everything with my own eyes"
"i didn't waved at him, i only stood there and i didn't came out cause i thought you will come to meet me and even if i tried you would be gone until i come out there" i replied.
"stop lying i saw you waving at him"
"i didn't "
"you did"
"you don't deserve my love you're still lying" he stated.
he don't know how much he's hurting me, he's accusing me for the things i haven't done, punishing me for the mistakes i haven't made, i can't take it anymore
"okay fine i don't deserve your love, i'm a betrayer i'm the definition of every bad thing in the world, a person like me doesn't deserve to live you will know one day that i wasn't lying, you will regret it you will cry for me and miss me but i won't come back" i said acrimoniously and tears slid down my cheeks he was appalled on my words and didn't said a word, saying that i ran towards the woods, he was running behind me yelling my name but i didn't stop and kept running holding my gown i entered into the woods, everything was pitch dark inside i didn't understand where to go i heard Remus still hollering my name so i continued running deep inside the woods, i halted near the tree panting hard, it was chilling in here i sat down leaning against the tree, i closed my eyes and rested my head against it, i heard foot steps approaching towards me, but i didn't opened my eyes i was so tired due the running i did, the sound of foot steps stopped just in front of me, i thought i might be Remus and didn't opened my eyes, he started moving closer to me and stopped few inches away from my face, i felt his cool breath on my cheek i snapped open my eyes and found myself looking into bright blood red eyes, i was petrified and pushed him away letting out a scream......................................
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