Chapter 0

I remember you, who was my duty.

A day at the hut goes by slowly. But it’s not always the same. Did you know that even the same sky has a slightly different shape every day?

There are also many birds that I do not know their name in the forest. Wouldn’t it be great if I could call out their names?

Birds communicate in a way that only they can. On some days, they chirp as if they are chatting, and on other days, they are noisy as if they are having a fierce discussion. How great would it be if I could understand their conversations?

At the academy, I learned philosophy, mathematics, and speech, but not the language of birds. So, as you say, I’m stupid.

Do you know this?

The weather here is awful. It’s getting harder and harder to get out of bed. But in the forest, you have to be diligent to survive the winter.

At dawn, I wake up from my bed, and it happens even though no one is waking me up. Of course, it is more difficult to not wake up when birds start crying while feeding around that time.

A few days ago, I put a trough in front of the hut for the birds in the forest. I put the oats and barley that I got, and it felt like the birds really liked it.

Do you like stories like this?

I still don’t know you.

I wanted to read the countless stories in your eyes. Things like your past and future that I don’t know. I even dreamed that I was drowning in the shade of a tree reflected in your eyes.

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I knew it was a dream, but I didn’t want to wake up. Maybe we were different species. Like swallows and thrushes. Even if I had stayed up countless nights, I wouldn’t have been able to cry.

I remember you, who was my duty.

Being in the forest inevitably reminds me of you. A few days ago, it snowed heavily, and the snow that had piled up to my knees still hasn’t melted.

I thought of you as I was clearing the snow in front of the hut. It’s just a lonely house under the grey sky and in the snowy forest, but I hold you in my thoughts every moment.

There was a birch tree. Without any leaves. Birch trees with dry branches stretched out as if supporting the forest.

I remember being with you in the birch grove in the summer. There was a birch grove in your place, and the summer greens were in it. How did you feel when you were with me?

Were you a little happy?

I asked for a reply to my letter that I couldn’t even send. This question will remain unanswered forever. I’ll think as I always have been. Because you ignored me no matter what I did. I believe you will do that again this time. 

Looking out the window, it is snowing again. Have you ever heard the sound of snow falling? When I’m alone in the forest, it feels silent, as if I’m alone in the whole world.

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When that happens, I stay up all night with an empty wine glass in front of me. In a hut that no one is looking for me, I will endure it as I ponder each day.

Remembering you, who was my duty,

(To be continued…)