Chapter 18 - Perfect.

"Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the Vasquez Bennett families, I thank you all for being here today as we pay our respects and bid our final farewells to our much beloved former alpha and Luna of The Dark Shadows Pack Grayson and Gail Bennett"

The pastor talks about my grandparents and the amazing lives they led from the moment they met each other to their peaceful deaths, he also spoke of all their achievements as well as all of their contributions to not just our pack but also to other packs as well as helping out the human world, my grandparents were great benefactors, they were always doing everything they could to help out a cause or a charity, they were pretty incredible people and the world is now a sour place without them.

The pastor talked about my grandparents never ending love for their family mentioning both my mother and my uncle, my father and my auntie and their five grandchildren, my body stiffened when he said five because we all know now that this number isn't exactly accurate and I have a feeling that the pastor knows as well when he said something which I felt was directed at me.

"Alpha Grayson and Luna Gail were big on family, in fact, they instilled a very good value in both of their children, that value was that family isn't always blood, it's the people in your life who want you in theirs, the ones who accept you for who you are, the ones who would do anything to see you happy and see you smile, the ones who love you no matter what"

I looked over at my parents and my eyes caught my fathers devastated ones which were filled with tears, he looked like a broken man but I didn't care, at least that's what my mind is saying, my heart, on the other hand, is hurting seeing him in so much pain, I hate my heart sometimes.

"I'd like to call up our former alpha Lucas Vasquez to the podium"

My father breaks eye contact with me and stands up fixing his jacket, he then walks up to the podium and shakes hands with the pastor before standing in front of it and addressing everyone, he tells his own stories about his experiences with my grandparents, he made everyone laugh, cry and even gasp in shock, horror and surprise with some of the stories he told, he even inadvertently caused me to smile and even laugh when he spoke of certain times like when he first met my grandparents and when he and my momma told them they were expecting Cole, I have to admit that's always been my favourite story.

"You all may find this hard to believe but my parents in law were extremely loving people especially to their grandchildren...ALL of their grandchildren, Dean, Cole, Angelo, Destiny and Natalia"

Myself and my father once again make eye contact when he mentions my name and a stray tear falls down my face.

"Like with all grandparents, their grandchildren were the apples of their eyes, Dean and Angelo were their bad boys, Cole was their golden boy, he was even nicknamed alpha golden boy by his siblings and cousins"

Everyone chuckles but I cringed hearing him call me Coles sibling, I know I call him big brother all the time but that's punishment, for some reason or another, Cole hates it when anyone especially me, refers to him as my brother.

"As for my daughter and my niece, my parents in law always referred to them as their little princesses, Destiny always hated this ever since she was young because she was the tomboy who loved to get her hands dirty, hang with the boys and play big boy games, looking at her now, I can see nothings changed"

Everyone once again chuckles, even myself when I looked at my cousin and I saw her glaring at my father, these days Destiny is a bit of both, she dresses like a badass and a lady but no matter what her dress sense is, she's still the badass tomboy who doesn't give two f***s about ruining her hair and make-up or breaking a nail.

"And Natalia...my beautiful, amazing daughter"

Urgh!!, I think I'm gonna be sick.

"She was a true princess to her grandparents and the title fit her perfectly, tell me Natalia, do you remember what your nanny and grandpa used to tell you when you were younger?"

Urgh!!, this bastard.

I look at my father with a stoic face.

"No, I don't"

"Oh come on Nattie, of course you do, it was almost a nightly ritual between yourself and your grandparents"

The grounds fell silent as myself and my father stared at each other or more like he looked at me with love and affection and I glared at him with pure hatred, I was glaring at him so bad that I didn't feel the thousands of eyes that were staring at me waiting for my answer.

"Sweetheart"

I hear Brody whisper, I look away from my father and look up at him, he winked as he gave me a reassuring smile, I smiled back at him before taking a deep breath and looking at my dad.

"Whenever you feel overwhelmed or feel like you're losing your faith, remember whose granddaughter you are, straighten your crown and remind the peasants who their queen is"

I smirked at my father who was smiling brightly at me, little did I know at this point that what I said was true in more ways than one.

"That's right Nattie....I hope you know that your grandparents loved you so much and they would've been so proud of the woman you've become"

I narrow my eyes away and look down at mine and Brodys entwined hands, a trail of tears left my eyes and landed on my hand.

"It's ok, sweetheart"

I rest my head on Brody's shoulder and he kisses my forehead.

One Hour Later....

"Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling, do you feel my heart beating, do you understand? do you feel the same, am I only dreaming, ah, is this burning an eternal flame? close your eyes, give me your hand, darling"

It's been an hour since the service started and everyone from my father to my cousin Destiny have spoken about their love for my grandparents and all of the sweet memories they have with them, I wasn't focused for most of it because I was toying with whether or not I should stand up and say something, as much as I hate my parents, I really loved my grandparents and I know that I'd regret it if I didn't say anything to honour their memory.

"Is there anybody else who would like to speak in honour of our late alpha and Luna?"

Should I speak? even if it's only just a few words.

"Do it, Nat?"

"Why should I, Lucky?"

"Because you're not doing this for your parents, you're doing it for your grandparents....for you"

"Nobody?....ok then...."

"Me...I'd like to say something"

I could feel everyone's eyes on me once again but all I could think of was oh shit, I really should have kept my mouth shut, I'm not really good with public speaking.

"Natalia, of course, come on up"

I take a deep breath before standing up and walking up to the podium.

"Natalia Vasquez everybody"

I stand in front of the podium and look down at the two gold coffins in front of me both of whom have been engraved with a huge A and L on them along with The Dark Shadows Packs logo, my grandparent's full names, their birth and death dates and an engravement which says 'loving father, grandfather and alpha' on my grandfathers and 'loving mother, grandmother and Luna' on my nannys.

My heart was racing a mile a minute and I couldn't control the tears falling from my eyes, I was looking at two people who loved and protected me and now they're gone, where do I even begin to speak of how amazing they are?.

"Speak from the heart, Nat"

I hear Angelos voice through our mind link, I look at him and in typical Angelo fashion, he winks at me before giving me his beautiful smile, it was then that I found the courage to speak about these amazing people.

"When I was a little girl....my nanny and grandpa were the ones to sit me down and tell me all about mates, I was six or seven years old and my nanny was telling me about the day she met my grandpa...she said that she was sitting in the cafeteria with her friends at school and my grandpa came up to her and tried to ask her out with a really cheesy chat up line, it must run in the family because I'm pretty sure I've heard my dad, my brothers and my cousin use similar lines on women as well"

Everyone laughs and I continue on with my story.

"My grandpa, who you all know as the chivalrous man that he is....was...asked my nanny are those space pants you're wearing because your ass is out of this world?"

I along with everyone else laughed, it's true my grandfather was a gentleman but he wasn't always like that, my guess is that the moment he became alpha is when he became the man that he was.

"It's safe to say my grandpa went home that day with his nice white shirt stained red and his body and hair was sticky from the slushie that my nanny had thrown in his face....my nanny also gave him a firm warning that....that if he wanted a date with her then he'd have to court her like a lady and not treat her like a common streetwalker which he did and after many, many months of my grandfather courting my nanny, he finally got his date and the rest, as they say, is history"

I take a deep breath as I wipe away my tears.

"The point of my story is that when my nanny told me about mates, she told me to never settle....not even for my mate and if a man ever treated me with disrespect or caused me any pain then I had to make him work for my forgiveness"

My eyes drifted over to Cole who was staring at me intently, his face was filled with mixed emotions and his eyes were filled with numerous unshed tears along with something else...determination.

I quickly looked away from Cole not wanting to see it because the more I looked at him the more I saw all of the empty promises that he'd make and no doubt fail to keep so instead, I looked down and focused on my breathing before I spoke again.

"The last time I saw my grandparents was a few months ago, I'd gone to have some dinner with them and midway through, I received a text from my best friend Emily"

I smiled at the memory and almost chuckled remembering the conversation I had with my nanny, my nanny and grandpa weren't old, they were in their fifties and yet they'd often act like they were in their seventies or eighties.

"I barely got my phone out of my pocket before my nanny started to rant about young people and how we're always on our phones or obsessed with social media sites like facetube...I tried to explain to my nanny that it was Facebook and youtube but she wasn't having any of it and continued to rant about how young people wouldn't know their ass from their elbow if we were around thirty years ago because there wasn't any gadgets or internet"

The grounds roared into laughter and I even noticed some of the elders nodding their heads in agreement as well as some elders nodding to their youngins and telling them how right my nanny was.

"Despite not liking the new era, my grandparents did love one thing about it which is how creative some people can be, one time I showed my nanny a video which she loved, the video showed an elderly woman waiting for her son to return home for Christmas but instead, she received a gift with a letter that had an apology in it because her son couldn't make it home for the holidays, the mother was sad but loved her gift which was a robot because not only did it help her out but it also gave her the one thing that she'd always wanted which was companionship, my nanny was grateful that she wasn't anything like this woman because she knew that when she would eventually die...that she wouldn't be alone...she'd have her whole family by her side, I guess the moral of the video is that we should never ever take our loved ones for granted because we never know when we're gonna lose them"

I whispered the last bit as the weight of the words that I'd spoken had started to weigh heavy on my heart, I quickly composed myself and wiped away my tears which was a waste of time because they kept on flowing like a waterfall.

"Anyway, the video featured a song which my nanny loved...she said that she felt like it had been written for her and my grandpa because it sounded a lot like their love story....so in honour of the two most amazing people that I will always and forever love....I'm gonna sing that song for them"

I turned my head and nodded to the band behind me before turning back around and inadvertently looking at my parents who were smiling like two kids in a candy shop, I closed my eyes and quickly mind linked them.

"Don't look so happy, I'm doing this for nanny and grandpa, not you"

"You're doing it Nattie, that's all we care about"

I opened my eyes and looked at my father in the eye as he smiles sadly at me, I look away as the music begins and I take a deep breath to keep myself composed.

"I found a love for me, darling, just dive right in and follow my lead well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet I never knew you were the someone waiting for me 'cause we were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was, I will not give you up this time, darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own and in your eyes, you're holding mine, baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms, barefoot on the grass, we're listenin' to our favourite song, when you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath but you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight"

Tears flowed down my face as I sang the perfect song for my perfect grandparents, by the end of the song I was a sobbing broken mess and I had to be escorted off the stage by Brody who held me in his arms comforting me and reassuring me that everything will be ok and my pain will eventually go away, it'll just take time.

I really wish that I could believe him but right now I can't and all I can think about is the unbearable pain in my heart and how it doesn't seem to be easing.