Chapter 17 - Mixed Feelings.

"You can dance every dance with the guy, who gives you the eye, let him hold you tight, you can smile every smile for the man, who held your hand beneath the pale moonlight but don't forget who's takin' you home and in whose arms you're gonna be, so darling, save the last dance for me"

Click!!.

"The service starts soon, sweetheart....we need to leave"

"Do you know that was their favourite song?....they danced to it on their first date, my grandpa took my nanny to one of those outdoor cinema things and during the interval, they played some songs...Save The Last Dance For Me was one of them, my grandpa asked my nanny to dance and she said yes, they danced under the moonlight and it was then that they planned out their futures...my grandpa even predicted how they'd die, did you know that?"

"Erm no...no I didn't"

He said sounding uncomfortable.

"Yer...he told my nanny that they'd get married, have beautiful children, they'd grow old together and then they'd die in each other's arms...he said that he never wanted to live a day without her and that if he was going to die....he'd want her to die with him"

"Nat...."

"They loved each other....they really, really loved each other and not just because they were mates..."

"Natalia, it's ok"

Brody crouches down next to me and gently caresses my arm.

"No it's not, Brody...it's not ok at all, I'm losing everyone"

"No, you're not"

"Yes I am"

I look down at him.

"I've lost my grandparents, I've lost my parents, I've lost my mate, I'm gonna lose you when you find your mate and it's only a matter of time before I lose Angelo and Emily as well"

"Natalia, shut up and look at me"

Brody gently grips my chin and turns me to face him.

"You're never gonna lose me, do you understand that? even when I find my mate, I'll always be in your life because you're my best friend and I love you to death"

"Do you promise?"

I whisper feeling completely vulnerable, I hate feeling vulnerable but for some reason when I'm around Brody, I feel comfortable to act and feel any way that I want.

"I promise"

He kisses my forehead and stands up.

"I'm gonna go and check on your brother and make sure he's ready, I'll be back in a few minutes, ok"

I nod my head and he smiles before leaving our room.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath before standing up and going over to the long mirror to check myself out and make sure I look perfect, I know it sounds odd that I wanna make sure I look perfect for my grandparents funeral but it's not, my nanny was always known for looking her best no matter where she was going or what she was doing even when she was doing the dishes she'd always be dressed to the nines with perfect hair and make-up so I don't wanna let her down or show her up by looking like shit at her funeral.

Knock!!, knock!!, knock!!.

"Come in"

I was too busy looking at myself in the mirror to see who had come into my room, it was only when I heard his voice that I felt my body stiffen and a new pool of emotions started to stir deep with inside of me.

"You look beautiful"

"Thank you....I'd say the same about you but I don't think the word beautiful was created to be used on men"

Cole chuckles which was the most amazing sound ever.

"I'll take other words though Nat like handsome, sexy, gorgeous, hot, exceptionally good look..."

"Did you want something, Cole?"

I check my dress for any kinks, my nanny would kill me if I showed up to her funeral with even the smallest kink in my dress.

"Actually yer, I've come to give you something"

"Oh yer, what?"

"This"

I turn around just as Cole opens up a jewellery box which contains my nannys necklace.

"Oh my god, where did you get this?"

"From momma, apparently this necklace goes to the firstborn daughter of the firstborn daughter and she wants you to wear it"

I smile seeing the beautiful necklace that I've admired ever since I was a little girl but my smile instantly turns into a frown when realisation hits me.

"There's just one problem, Cole"

"What's that?"

"I'm not my momma's daughter so that necklace doesn't belong to me"

I turn back around to look in the mirror.

"It doesn't matter Natalia, nanny wanted you to have it so you're having it....shall I?"

I look at him through the mirror and he smirked, urgh!!, why does he have to be so freaking good looking?.

"I heard that"

Urgh!!.

"Whatever"

Cole stands behind me and I felt this warm fuzzy feeling from having him so close to me, I wanted to push those feelings away and bury them again but I needed the comfort, especially today.

"May I?"

I nod my head and move my hair to the side, Cole closes the small space between us and I could tell that my scent along with being so close to me must be driving him insane because of the look on his face and the way his eyes closed, he looked comforted by my presence.

"Cole"

He opens his eyes and looks at me before quickly looking away.

"Sorry"

Cole puts the necklace on me and I felt my body tense when I felt the shocks and tingles on my skin from where Cole's fingers touched me.

"You really do look beautiful, Natalia, you've always been beautiful, I was just too stupid to notice it before"

Cole places his hands on my shoulders as he rests his head against mine, I close my eyes enjoying the contact as well as the lightening of the pain in my heart, I know I shouldn't enjoy it after everything he's put me through but I couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry, Natalia, I know you don't believe me but I am and I promise, I'm gonna do everything I can to prove to you just how sorry I am"

Holy f**k, did he...did he just...did Cole Demetrius Vasquez, alpha to one of the biggest packs in the world just apologise to little old me.

The room fell silent as we looked at each other.

I didn't know what to say or do, a small part of me wanted to embrace him and take comfort in the mate bond even if it was only just for one day, this part of me also wanted to believe every single word he was saying because she hopes that one day she'll have the same fairytale ending as her grandparents did but the bigger and more rational part of me wanted to push him away and tell him to f**k off.

"Natalia I..."

"Hey Nat, are you ready to go?"

Brody comes into the room and his face immediately contorted to anger when he saw Cole and how close we were to each other, I quickly moved away from him when I saw that Brody's nostrils were flaring and his fists were clenched really tight.

Yesterday after my confrontation with my parents, Cole showed everyone to their rooms and I was annoyed when he didn't show me to mine, when I asked him where I'd be staying, he said that I had no other choice but to stay with him because the packhouse was overbooked and there was no rooms available for me, I knew that he'd planned this so that I'd have to stay with him but his plan backfired when I asked Brody right in front of him if I could stay in his room, Brody happily said yes and Cole was pissed.

After that, all hell broke loose and the pair started to fight after Cole got all possessive and punched Brody in the face, it was brutal and horrible to watch but thankfully, they were broken up by some of Coles warriors and they managed to heal themselves a few hours later but by then the damage was already done and now Brody's hatred towards Cole has been amplified and whenever he sees him, it's like a red rag to a bull.

"What the f**k are you doing in here?"

"Relax action man, I just came in here to give Nattie something"

"It's Natalia for scum like you"

"Watch who you're talking to pup, I may not be your alpha but I'm still an alpha and I demand respect"

The boys square up to each other and I could tell from the looks on their faces that neither of them was planning on backing down any time soon.

"Respect is earned alpha not demanded"

See what I mean.

"I've earned every ounce of respect I've been given little boy"

"But you haven't earned Nat's respect, have you?"

Brody said with a smirk pissing Cole off.

Coles face contorted to anger and I could tell that this was gonna turn in a way that I wasn't gonna like and I was right when I saw Cole's fist clench and raise in the air.

"COLE, NO!!"

I ran in front of Brody just as Cole raised his fist in the air to hit him, as a natural reaction, I closed my eyes and shielded my face with my hands to protect myself fully expecting to feel him hit me but instead, I felt nothing, absolutely nothing, I opened my eyes and slowly lowered my hands as I looked up at Coles clenched fist which was frozen mid-air, I narrowed my eyes from his fist to his face and I was shocked when I saw that his eyes had widened in shock and his face was filled with horror.

"Nat, I'm so sorry"

I close my eyes and shake my head slightly.

"It's ok just please don't hit him"

Coles face changes from shock and horror to a mixture of other emotions, I couldn't tell what most of them were but I could definitely see that he was sad.

"Ok"

Before I could say or do anything, Cole stormed out of my room leaving me feeling sad and guilty like I'd done something wrong but I know that I haven't, I was just protecting my friend.

"Are you ok, sweetheart?"

I nod my head.

"Yer...we need to go"

I turn around and smile at Brody who looked confused by the whole situation and I couldn't blame him, I was also confused.

"Ok, let's go"

Brody gently grabs hold of my hand caressing the back of it before leading us out of our room.

We head downstairs and my grip on Brody's hand tightened when I saw my parents talking with my uncle and his wife, Brody mind linked me telling me everything was gonna be ok, I looked up at him and smiled and he smiled back.

"Oh my god, Natalia, is that you?"

Oh for crying out loud.

"Destiny, hi...umph!!"

"How are you? this has got to be so hard on you, I mean we all know that you were nanny and gramps favourite, you were their little Nattie pie"

Destiny pulls away from me and holds me at arms length looking me up and down.

"f**k me, you got hot, how did that happen? don't get me wrong you were gorgeous before but now you're like really, really hot, oh my god, did you find your mate yet? is he cute? is he sexy? is he good in bed?"

She asks whilst wiggling her eyebrows.

"Destiny stop, you're embarrassing the poor girl"

My cousin Dean says whilst approaching us and to say I was happy would be an understatement, my cousin Destiny if you haven't noticed is a very eccentric and extroverted person, she's not shy about what she says or does even if it means inadvertently hurting or embarrassing the person she's talking too.

"Hey Nattie pie"

"Hi Dean"

Dean wraps his arms around me and I didn't hesitate to hug him back, my parents and Cole may have been abusive assholes to me but my uncle and his family were always loving and caring they even tried to stop my parents from treating me the way that they did but as you know, they never listened.

Dean pulls away from me and just like Destiny he looked me up and down with a huge smile on his face.

"Damn Nattie, puberty certainly hit somebody like a wrecking ball, what the hell happened, huh?"

"Oh you know, I went to bed and I literally woke up like this"

"Aahh, pulling a Beyonce...I like it"

I chuckle at my cousin, I've missed him so freaking much, I haven't seen him since Angelo left for beta training over a year ago and let's just say, life has been pretty damn dull without him and Destiny around, not that it was filled with all sunshine and rainbows beforehand.

"I'm sorry to break up this little happy reunion but we need to go...the service is about to start"

The room falls silent and the previous happy ambience changed to silence and sadness, I felt a stray tear roll down my cheek as the pain of my loss slowly crept into my heart once again.

"Don't cry little Nattie they're at peace, they're happy but most importantly, they're together, we can't ask for anything better for our beloved grandparents now, can we?"

Dean says as he wipes away my tear.

"You're right"

I whisper as I nod my head slightly finding peace in his words, it would've killed my nanny and grandpa if one went without the other and they would've suffered until they were reunited again so it's best that they went together.

Dean and I smiled at each other, he then winked at me before turning around and clapping his hands gaining everyone's attention.

"Let's do this family, let's go and say one last goodbye to alpha Grayson and Luna Gail Bennett"

Everyone walks out of the packhouse and I was one of the last to leave but was stopped by my parents who requested to speak to me alone, Brody and Angelo instantly refused but I told them that it was ok, my parents were relieved probably believing that I was finally giving in to their faux lies, pity and compassion but what they didn't know is that I mind linked my brother to not go too far just in case our parents decided to show their true selves.

"What do you want?"

My parents looked at me shocked at how aggressive I was speaking to them.

"Nattie, we erm...we...."

They kept stuttering unable to get their words out and I was starting to get frustrated with them.

"Hurry up will you, if you haven't noticed a funeral is about to take place and unlike you two who don't give two shiny shits about family, I actually wanna say goodbye to two of the few family members who actually cared about me"

My parents sighed and I could tell that my mother wanted to tell me otherwise, that I was cared for by more than just my grandparents, my big brother and my uncles family but she knew better and kept her mouth shut.

"Natalia, we were just wondering if you could do us a favour?"

"A favour?"

My father nodded.

"Yes, for your grandparents"

I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest.

"What favour?"

My dad was hesitant to speak at first but when he did, I found myself torn...torn between my hatred for my parents and my eternal love for my grandparents.

"We were wondering if you would sing at the funeral, your nanny and grandfather loved your voice and we thought you could sing a song for them as a tribute"

What the hell?.

I scrunched my face up in confusion.

"You want me to sing?"

They nod their heads with expectant looks on their faces, they looked so desperate and like my answer could either make their day or crush them, Coles words kept rolling around in my head about loving my grandparents more than hating them but at this precise moment...I couldn't do that, I couldn't let go of my hatred for these two awful human beings so I gave them the answer they didn't want.

"I'm sorry but no, I won't sing, not for them and certainly not for you"

I walk out of the packhouse expecting to feel at least a teeny bit happy that I caused them a little bit of pain but I didn't....instead, I felt sad and guilty that I was mean and heartless towards them, urgh!!, why do I have to be such a nice person? why can't I be a nasty, evil person who doesn't give a f**k about anyone or their feelings?.