60 Taking the Reins

She smiled humorlessly up at Lord Alfwin. Well knowing what the response would be, she asked in a teasing manner, "Should I defer to your authority again?"

"Only if that's the answer you wish to give the Queen," he replied with all seriousness. At this juncture, they probably both knew without question that Hilde was very much in his camp now.

She laughed, which raised many eyebrows. She didn't care. This order was one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations, and she deserved to let out a bit of steam.

It was quite a neat trap, objectively speaking. If she steps up to the plate, there were at least two ways it could go. She'd merely be obeying her monarch's orders, who perhaps wanted her to replicate the results she'd gotten that morning at the small village outside Oste – to pacify another, much bigger beast so all of them at the hill could leave safely as well.

But in so doing, she'd once again be announcing to all, no matter how inadvertently, her preparedness to become her sister's rival.

Give way to the Lord General, on the other hand, and she'd signal not only disobedience but also weakness, unmistakable and inexcusable this time around.

No matter which choice she takes and no matter its outcome, one thing was for sure: she'd somehow be set up to take the blame for one thing or another later. If there'd even be a later.

And the Queen did this seemingly with no concern whatsoever for the judgment that would land on her own doorstep.

Did she really not know what she was doing? She might be severely affected by grief, she might be smarting from freshly inflicted injuries and the possible reopening of old ones, much like the country she represented, but that didn't change the bottom line – her most recent actions were extremely destructive, not just to herself but to everyone she's responsible for.

Hilde forced her most personal feelings into stillness. Once again just a Princess performing her duty, she turned to formally address Leal.

"Prince," she said, curtseying. "My deepest apologies for how your visit has turned out. You sought to honor us and this is how we repaid you. You will be entirely justified in severing ties with our Queendom after this."

For a split second, the man had appeared taken aback that he was being addressed at all, but it was almost like an illusion in how quickly it got replaced by a small, one-sided smile, his eyelids dropping a millimeter or two to create a laidback, unconcerned effect.

"It's quite alright," he replied lightly. "I can think of a better way to demand repayment."

Even while knowing he only said that to rile her, Hilde's eyes flashed behind the "Princess" mask. She truly couldn't help it when it came to the topic Leal was hinting at.

The Prince's smile simultaneously widened and softened before he turned his face away again. "It's fine, truly," he said, looking at nothing in the distance. "We're still in capable hands."

At the words that had sounded suspiciously like an endorsement of Hilde taking the reins, she was forced to do a rapid reassessment of what she wanted to happen moving forward versus what she should expect could happen instead, given how many other players were in the board.

Soldiering – a given. Becoming an officer, even a general – that would depend on whether or not she truly had the aptitude for it. Becoming Queen? The desire had never possessed her before, but she knew it was an open possibility she couldn't reject out of hand just because she didn't like it.

Still, she was not cooperating with the Lord General for whatever grand-scale schemes he may or may not have. She didn't want war for its own sake, and she'd avoid civil war if she could.

It was vengeance for Lothar and Dieter and the others they'd just laid to rest that was her second driving force for siding against her own sister. Deep down, she was hoping the threat she represented to her power would be enough to move Queen Heloise to action. But though moving, the woman's going a different direction entirely.

Given her lies and recent betrayals, it would be foolish of Hilde to believe the Queen was really just "waiting for spring." She could have just told that to the crowd downhill, if so, not leave her aides behind to speak for her while she fled. Judging from how that crowd's shouting had quieted a little, however, answers and assurances were probably all they had wanted under their hostile words and threats.

Once again, the thought of what the people were most in need of gave Hilde the final push. For the moment, she stopped focusing on what-ifs and consequences in order to just act.

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She turned to Inge, her expression one of grim purpose. "Please ask Captain Judda to join us."

With a prompt salute, the soldier obeyed.

After a couple of beats of silence in which everyone else understood she'd taken on the burden of command, Lord Alfwin observed, "I see he's still by your side, despite the procession being over."

"Inge is in my service now," Hilde explained levelly. "In an informal capacity, for the time being."

"You don't have to wait until you've come of age," Sieglind interjected. "Father could help swear him to you right here."

She showed a spare smile. "Thank you, but I'd like to wait and do it personally. I owe him that much."

Sieglind shrugged and let the matter go. Upon turning to the Lord General again, Hilde found him looking at her with a complicated expression in his careworn face.

"I thought before that it might be my wishful thinking…" he began. In the process, his features melted into a tender expression. "You too have changed, haven't you, Princess?"

Not for the first time, it crossed Hilde's mind to wonder if she should've just continued acting like the old her, if only to avoid the constant and, frankly, demotivating remarks about how much she'd changed. She knew she hadn't exactly been the most well-behaved young royal in Arnica's history, but had she really been THAT bad?

'And he'd have made do with what he had anyway, I suppose. Or molded me to his exact liking. Is he happy or not I turned out this way, I wonder…'

"I had to grow up some time, Uncle. The process just got forcibly accelerated." As she was speaking, Nadia returned to her side carrying a tray with a full cup of juice and a few small plates of assorted breads. With palpable urgency, unable to even look at the others because she was busy eyeballing the food, Hilde said, "Please excuse me, and feel free to dig in too."

Taking the sound of three throats coughing as consent, she proceeded to eat, unmindful of other onlookers' judgment. Not fainting from hunger in the middle of what may come later was more important than appearances.

Of course, she was the only one who knew just how desperately she needed refueling. Since she couldn't do anything about what others would think about something she herself could not help, she decided for simplicity's sake to just not give a damn.

'There's a line there… somewhere.' Without quite meaning to, she briefly found herself missing being her former "self" and no one else. 'Yong Fan Shu would have given no f*cks at all, whatever the circumstance.'

She was halfway through polishing a second plate undisturbed when Inge returned with his Captain – or was it former Captain now? With regret, she made do with topping off her hurried meal with the last of the juice. She barely remembered to use a napkin and not her sleeve to wipe her mouth after. Old habits.

"Princess Hilde." Captain Judda saluted her as if nothing happened after they parted at the House of Contemplation. "My sword is at your command."

Her expression neutral, Hilde looked the middle-aged man straight in the eyes and asked, "Will you be giving it to me again?"

"If you wish for it," the Captain replied without missing a beat.

"I actually have my own, thank you. And you may be sure I'll wield it, when I must." She smiled. "I'd rather borrow your entire troop for myself, but I ask that you and your men would not draw your blades lightly – not against our own people. Lord General," she next addressed the older officer. "I'm placing all the household soldiers present under your command, and with the same reminder. Also… make the rest of the Queen's Guards understand that as well, if they do not already."

Hilde paused before letting her eyes stray towards Leal, who represented the primary problem that needed to be solved. All of them in the meadow could get hurt, but the Lyseans were the only ones here in actual, immediate danger.

There was this one way to protect them, but…

Huffing, she threw caution to the wind and asked both officers: "Who's in command of the female troop?"