97 Love

Mei Xue sipped her herbal tea in the illusory world while sighing. "I wonder, am I still the most attractive person in this world?"

"What the hell are you talking about," the apothecary asked her with a dumbfounded face.

The young woman stirred her cup with a metal spoon. She rested her face on her palm while staring outside the window with a thoughtful expression. "I was just counting all my good traits."

"And you couldn't do it in the comfort of your own home," the old lady said.

"It's so big and lonely in there, I'd rather have someone to bounce my ideas off of."

"Talk about losing reliability." The apothecary sighed. She squinted her eyes and pursed her lips, the wrinkles on her face pulling together, but she did not throw out Mei Xue despite her annoyance. "So are you just here to brag, or is there anything else."

"I am not bragging. I am preparing for war."

The apothecary was quietened by the unexpected answer. Afterward, she laughed out loud. "War? Here? There's no war to be fought here."

"That's not quite true, isn't it?" Mei Xue cut her off. She took a sip from her cup. It wasn't particularly delicious, but she still felt refreshed. The ingredients used must have been of high quality. She lamented, if she learned under the apothecary, just like Li Yangyi did under the cook, would it not be a useful skill? However, she has already chosen her road. "There's a person here that everybody would love to see disappear, no?"

The laughter and smiles on the apothecary immediately disappeared. "...Do you wish to fight the witch?"

Mei Xue didn't answer. But that in itself was an answer.

"You will die, you know?" The apothecary rubbed her head. "Was it because of the flutist? If I had known that I wouldn't have given you the room to stay. Or maybe it's the house itself. We oughta pull it down by its roots and rebuild it. Lord knows, the people in this village have nothing better to do anyway."

"You don't look like it, but you do care about me don't you," Mei Xue asked with a smug face. "Heh." 

"Shut up," the old woman reprimanded her sternly. "What reasoning do you have to fight anyways? Do you want to be a hero or something?"

"It's just that I am bored," Mei Xue replied honestly. She did not feel anything particular towards the witch or the inhabitants of this village. She was not one to become attached fast, and even then, she'd never show her true emotions on her face. Everything was to complete the quest given by the Store of Fates.

"Don't lie. We all fight for something," the apothecary said. "I know you do too. Is there someone waiting for you in the other world who you wish to see again?"

"Bleh. No way in hell." Mei Xue stuck her tongue out.

"What are you, a kid? We all do things for love," the apothecary spoke. "Love for one another is what drives our society forward."

"Love is just another form of lust," Mei Xue spoke. "Lust, Greed, and Anger are what destroy a human. I've seen many men, some who were great, fall into the trap of lust before. They all start out the same." Mei Xue looked at her fist. "They arrive, with a high sense of duty and justice, but in the end, no matter how high you sit, love will drag you down to the deepest bottom within hell." She smiled, though it did not reach her eyes. "And lust turns into greed, or envy even, for these men wish to possess something that they do not have or belongs to them. And it culminates in anger. Anger at the lust, themselves, and the world that created such disgusting dilemma." Mei Xue slashed her thumb over her throat. "And they will fall—woman and man alike. No doubt."

The other customers within the Store of Fates felt a cold chill, as they shivered from Mei Xues' words. They were unsure if what she said were her true thoughts, but they were real enough regardless of that. The vulnerabilities of a person, even a king, to have it highlighted so easily was not a comforting idea to them.

"This is why, when preparing for war, when others sharpen their swords and polish their armor, I look into the mirror," Mei Xue explained. "For I am the most beautiful woman in this world."

"Fair enough." The apothecary waited for her to finish speaking. She didn't show any particular expression, though she began snickering after a while. "Then hast he most beautiful woman ever fallen in love with someone else?"

Again, Mei Xue did not reply.

The sun outside came close to setting. The last hues of its rays, painting the sky a light pink, slowly rescinded, leaving way for the endless expanse of darkness and the moon. The apothecary stood up, closing the windows and lighting a candle. 

"Truthfully speaking, I too am without love," the apothecary spoke. "I have survived this long because I have no lingering attachments to those who I have lost. Those who cannot bear the burden of love will inevitably perish underneath its pressure. I've seen that many times." She shrugged. "Maybe we are just two cynical women in a single room, discussing a topic we have no perception of."

She paused, filling Mei Xues' cup with hot water.

"But unlike you, I still believe in it. And when you continue down the same road as I do, you too will come to envy it. And by then, you will be no better than the men of justice and duty who fell from their grace," the apothecary spoke.

"Nonsense." Mei Xue frowned, her pretty face scrunching together. Whether it was because of the apothecary's words or the bitter tea was hard to tell.

"It's true." The old woman cackled. "You may think you have found the perfect solution, but giving up on your emotions is easy.  It is to carry on with them and persevering that is hard."

"That is because love is a weakness." 

"They are what makes us human." The apothecary shrugged. "But you wouldn't understand that. Just like me, you see escaping from your emotions as a sign of strength and maturity."

"Hey, I don't need to hear all that from you," Mei Xue spoke and pointed at the apothecary. "I am just here to fight against that witch." She returned to the first topic. She wasn't here to gain enlightenment, like the other customers. Maybe on normal days, she would have calmly listened to what the apothecary was saying. She was fond of self-reflection herself, as staring at beautiful things calmed people down, and what was more beautiful than her? But she did not wish to be calm today, she wished to see where the ending of this story lay.

"You seem to have it all planned out, don't you? I suppose you know something that we do not? Was it what the flutist left behind? Or maybe even more?" The apothecary spoke slowly, aggravating Mei Xue. "But regardless of that, you will not succeed."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I've failed too, and I had to learn the idea of love the hard way." She pointed at her ankle.

Mei Xue deflated. "You really do know how to ruin the mood, old lady."

"Well, I am just looking out for you. Maybe I am wrong and you manage to do it after all."

"So what now? At first, you tell me not to try, and now you encourage me to fight? What exactly do you wish for me to do?" Mei Xue squinted her eyes in annoyance.

"How the hell should I know." The apothecary laughed. "I ain't a fortune-teller. Nor am I the God of Love. I am simply telling you about my experience. Look at the chef, he was full of love, but has lost it all. Though he went a different road, we still ended up the same."

"Then why would you preach about love this much?" Mei Xue was skeptical. In the end, love or not, did they not both fail to defeat the witch?

"At least he got to experience happiness momentarily. I shut it all away, for what? Just to end up the same as the old miser. What a drag." The old woman complained while resting her head on her fist. She stared out the window, in the direction of where the old man lived. A slight smile appeared on her face.

Mei Xue bit her lips. What a waste of time! She only wished to give the apothecary a heads-up out of courtesy for taking her in, but was roped into a long and drawn-out conversation. This village is truly scary. Maybe it was because they had nothing better to do, but they truly loved indulging in deep talk.

"Have you ever loved someone," Mei Xue asked.

The old woman thought about it. "I did, but it was useless. He had someone else in mind, and even now, when she had disappeared, he continued grieving, his eyes not on me." She cackled. "It's funny, no? The one time I choose to find courtship, and it ends in a tragedy."

Mei Xue remained silent. She clenched her fist. The worst thing about all of this was that she could relate with this old woman a lot.