95 A Chance 2

(Alexandra's POV)

Currently, it was 21:03 PM as I finished having dinner with the eccentric professor beside me. Because we didn't have a driving license we ended up walking back home. We were planning to go to chikatetsu[1].

However, before I could take another step. A familiar red car was coming to my sight. The car stopped beside the side road and a man came out from inside.

It was Stevan! (again)

I frowned when he suddenly came to my side. He looked angry and his easy-going aura was gone as well. He stood up in front of me and the professor. He said with a cold tone, "I searched for you in the university, but I found out you were having dinner with an unknown man?"

"Stevan, he is my supervisor. He's a professor from my university."

"Hah...Is he not one of your s*x buddies?"

"Stevan!" I growled angrily with him.

He glared at me with red eyes."You said you wanted to think about our relationship more? So why are you doing this thing to me?" I could hear his tone became irritated.

I didn't want to back down and faced him head-on. I retorted, "Stevan, I told you if you keep acting like this, we will end our relationship, right away!"

He sneered from the word 'relationship' which I said. He said mockingly, "What relationship? Friendship? Laura...I told you many times I want to be more than friends with you."

I gritted my teeth and said it with a calm yet not calm tone. "Stevan, I said to you I will give you a chance. But, it doesn't mean you must stalk and act like this to me."

He scoffed and said, "Laura, I didn't stalk you. I just get back from China how could I stalk you? I visited your university, hoping to see you. But later found out you were gone and went to have dinner with this guy."

I sneered, "Please Stevan, I knew how you were monitoring on me somewhere. I didn't know how you do it, but I knew."

His brows were making a straight line, "Laura, are you talking back at me?"

"I am."

"Laura!"

Swiftly a voice interrupted the two people arguing. "I think you should let the lady alone tonight." Prof. Mastshushima said while chewing his gum that he took a bit a while ago.

Stevan looked at the bunny mask man, strangely. "Who are you to interrupt our conversation?"

"Stevan! I'm sorry, professor." I bowed apologizing to the professor.

"Laura, why are you-" bowing to him?!

Prof. Matshushima said to him, "I think as a gentleman you should not force your feeling to the lady. Don't you see that she feel uncomfortable?"

"Don't try to talk righteously with me. If I didn't come here who knows she will not come back to her home today." Stevan said with his hand folding in front. He looked at the professor with a contempt feeling.

He scoffed and he felt a little offended by his words. Prof. Matshushima fixed his mask and with his sarcastic tone, he said, "Did you misunderstand something? What's with this s*x buddies? I am her supervisor and not her suitor. I have the right to talk to her about something related to our works, and a dinner meeting is very common nowadays for people gathering and socializing. I think you should fix your conservative brain a little."

A pop of a red vein on Stevan's face. "Did you just say that I'm a narrow mind person? Well, I tell you about what I'm seeing today. You two went to that famous restaurant for a lover only. To enter that restaurant you need a special reservation about three weeks before. So tell me, is it a coincidence you have the reservation ticket today?" he accused him with a matter of fact tone.

Prof.Matsushima yawned and answered with half heart feeling, "Yes, I really did make the reservation for the place from three weeks before. As you said, it was for a lover only."

"Ha! I knew it!"

"But, I booked it only for me."

"What?"

He put his hands to his pants pocket while tilting his head. He said to Stevan, "I had been curious lately about that restaurant. I never tried the foods in a place like that before. Fortunately, I have a friend who works there. Today, I asked him if he could book another one seat for her. He is the manager of Restaurant Z. You could investigate it if you like." he looked at his watch and continued without much thought."...and are you wondering why I booked the place for me alone? Well, I was hungry. I wanted to eat. That's all."

"..." (Me)

"..." (Stevan)

.

.

.

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Of course! I should expect that answer!

...

...

Because I didn't want to make more complicated the situation, In the end, I went back with Stevan. I left Prof. Matshushima to go back home alone, and he didn't really mind about it.

Before I went back to Stevan's car. Out of the blue Prof. Matshushima told me with a small voice, he warned me, "Be careful of that guy."

I halted my step and looked at him strangely. 'That 'guy'? He meant Stevan?' he didn't elaborate any further as he walked to chikatetsu not so far across the road and disappear from my sight.

Inside the car, we didn't say any words to each other. One could hear our breathing mix with the sound of street noises.

I opened the window's car a bit because I felt suffocated inside. Although the wind felt chilly at this night, it didn't cease my annoyed feeling. Stevan was angry. As he ignored me, his sight was focusing on traffic lights in front.

Red light. The car stopped.

'Now, it's more awkward.' I sighed inwardly.

Eventually, I was the one who spoke to him first.

I said, "I told you it was just a simple meeting between coworkers. He had something he wanted to talk about and it's related to my new job as a lecturer. Can you stop acting like this?"

"Right, you explained to me already." He said the words without looking at me.

I creased my eyebrows and glancing at him. I asked, "Why are you so difficult today?"

"What do you mean difficult?" he retorted my question with a confused expression.

I said, "You're having a bad mood."

He sneered, "Well, that was because of you, wasn't it?"

"Why me?" I glared at him, like 'What's wrong with you?' face. Why did he blame me? I didn't do anything wrong?!

He said, "Have you seriously think about my marriage proposal? I thought you were changing, but I was wrong, you are still the same."

I shouted, "I'm seriously thinking about that!!" I was a little offended by his words.

"Oh? Are you?"

"I am!" I growled.

"So, what's the hesitation? Your family already agree with our marriage and now, if you are ready with it, we can process our wedding right away."

How many times did I hear that already? Uh, 4C%BXSUR times?

After that day I ran from Stevan's apartment. I had been avoiding him. He didn't pursue me for a while, but suddenly I got noticed by my family in three weeks later. Because he was close to me since childhood until now, as well as his father was my father's friend. My father asked me to marry him!

When I heard that I was flabbergast. Did he ask my father to do this?

I knew that he kept proposing me over and over again. However, I always rejected him. He didn't give up and kept pursuing me. So, I told him about a chance. If he could make me fall in love with him. I'll marry him right away. He agreed with me and his interaction with me became more than before yet he kept it minimum space. He didn't want me to avoid him like before.

I was glad, of course. Finally, I got my breathing space after one month avoiding him, yet I felt a regret from my words. Why did I give him hope by that 'chance'?

I was in no condition to fall in love with someone when I still have someone that I couldn't forget.

I took a deep breath and said calmly to him."Stevan, that was my parent wish and I'm not ready to get married. I know I'm almost thirty and I should get married right away, but I just can't right now."

He said with a desperate voice, "It's 'right now' Laura. In the future, you can change it. I know you didn't love me. Wasn't it the reason you want to give me a chance to you? But from the way I look at it, you never ever did appreciate the affection I showed to you!"

I scoffed from his words and pointed my index finger to my temple, "Think! How can I fall in love with you if you act like that before?! And it wasn't only one time, Stevan."

"Do you think I want to act like that? Laura, you seem to hate me?"

"Soon I will hate you! If you act like that again before, in the future, I don't want to see your face ever again!"

"Laura!"

Greenlight came to sight.

Stevan with his painful head, stepping his pedal gas and drove the car. The colorful light building outside was really stunning, but I couldn't erase the inflame feeling inside. Panting from anger, I tried to calm down my breathing.

My eyes were slightly red. I didn't know the reason for it. Was it because I was sleepy? Angry? Sad? I just didn't know how I felt right now. It was a mess feeling.

After we crossed the bridge and entering the residence area, Stevan pulled the car to the side road. My house was in front. But, I stay inside with no intention to go out. I was waiting for him to say something.

After a minute, with his guilty and sincere tone. He said to me, "Laura, I'm sorry. I did that because I was worried about you."

I glanced at him while scornfully saying from his words. "Uh huh. Like you force me to have s*x for you. That's one of the 'worried' you talk about?"

"Laura! I knew you like our s*x, don't pretend you hate it."

"I didn't have any choice, did I?" I muttered the words.

His tone suddenly changed. He pleaded to me, "Laura, please, tell me one thing. Don't you like me at least? A tiny bit just fine. I want to know."

I turned my head and looked at Stevan with a serious face. I took a quick breath and determine myself that this time, I must tell him.

I stared at his red eyes and said with a calm tone. "Stevan, you are my friend, you are my beloved friend. From childhood until now, you always treat me good, If you didn't feel if I didn't appreciate you, yes, you can blame me. I was an immature person at that time. I felt so horrible when I thought about the time I used to be a bad person. That's why I want to change"

Sorry, that was my excuse for you.

I continued while trying to keep my voice clear as possible yet came out with a quivering voice. "Stevan, I'm not good at words. I can't become you who are easy-going and cheerful. You could easily convey your feeling with words and action. While I need time to be like you. As you said, I changed. I'm not the old Laura anymore."

"Even though we usually did those things together. It didn't mean I'm yours already. I will tell my parent that in this lifetime, I don't want to get married. I'm sorry Stevan. You are a good guy to me. But, I just can't help to lie to you about my feeling. I DON'T LOVE YOU. I felt bad all this time I always give you hope, just like I said about the 'chance' I promised you. But, on second thought, it's better we end this relationship. Not only the s*x relationship but our friendship as well. LET'S BECOME A STRANGER."

I opened the car's door and went outside. As if something boiling inside him, with a trembled body, he quickly followed and pulled my arm into his embrace. He shouted with his red eyes, "Laura do you hate that I like you?!"

I shook my head slowly, lowering my head, I answered him. "Do you know how I felt when you confessed to me many times? I felt a little happy, but I'm not sure if you can be happy with me. You'll be disappointed by the end." I choked from saying it.

"Laura! Why?! Is this because you are still in love with Han?!" he asked with a quivering tone. He looked desperate.

I answered him, "No. I don't love him."

"So why?" he asked. I pushed his chest and step back a little. But his hand was still there holding my right arm.

Tilting my head up, I looked at the night sky.

Which was only dark that I could see.

'Why there's no star tonight?' I scoffed.

'And why my eyes became blurry?' I thought.

I turned my head to face him again and said with difficulty, "I-I'm in love with someone else."

As if lighting came to strike him, he said with trembling voice. "Who's that man?"

I smiled sadly at him, "He...he died already."

Stevan let go of my arm and stared at my eyes disbelief."He..."

I halt my tears and said to him slowly so he could hear clearly my remarks "In this lifetime I don't want to fall in love with anyone besides him. I'm sorry Stevan, I don't want to betray my love to him. You are a good man, I know you will find a better woman than me. So, let's keep our distance from now."

"....Lau."

"Goodbye."

I left him alone on the spot. I looked back at him and he was still there. His head was lowered.

I already said all the truth to him and I felt relieved. I didn't want to torture myself again with this feeling.

In truth, my heart almost shook by him. But, I remind myself that I didn't want to betray my feeling. I love my old fiancee. I knew that he probably married with another noble lady, or now he had kids already.

But the memories we spent together were just too beautiful to forget. He was my dear beloved. I loved him for eighteen years. I couldn't forget about him easily.

So, Stevan. I'm sorry.

...

Later in the future, I would regret my decision to talk to him this night. I should have been quiet the entire time and just let him drove me to my house.

[1] Subway station