87 Diary: Memories From The Youth 5

(Han's POV)

"Hey, you! Are you from Class S?" a boy student suddenly asks me with a frown face. There were four other people behind him as well that made the same face.

I answered, "What?"

"Call Rei Ishii! We want him to come to our usual meeting place!"

"Who are you?"

"Don't ask a necessary question! Just tell him Kei Ono is waiting for him!"

He left me and walk to the different direction I was heading.

At Class S, I could see Rei Ishii with his glasses, reading beside the window, sitting on the couch. While the other student having their tea or playing the piano or violin. The class was slightly different from the rest of the class, it was wide and a lot of things you could do inside the class. It almost like a recreation place, not a class.

Inside, I was wondering what's wrong with the principal wasting the school budget for something useless as this?

I strode to Rei Ishii direction and stood in front of him. I said to the point, "Kei Ono is looking for you."

He lifts his head and looked at me, he closed his book and stood up. I still had that usual scary expression while he had that indifferent face. Suddenly, he smirked to me, "Do you want to come too?"

"Why should I?" I asked, frowning.

He smiled even wider, he approaches me closer and whispered with a low voice, "You should~ Hey~ I know about you. You...you have a double personality, right? I wonder if the school and your family know about this?"

"!!" I step back from him and unconsciously putting my guard up.

He chuckled, "Ah~ they didn't know, huh. I was surprised your family didn't know yet."

"What do you want from me?" I asked and he only smiled at me.

"Then, come with me."

....

At some old school building, in a rusty room. Crazy Kei was there with his gaudy uniform. He add sparkling sand attached to his uniform, it made him shine. Inside, I began to complain about the school regulation!

Anyway, the student who asked me a while ago was also there standing behind Crazy Kei.

Rei Ishii walks to Crazy Kei direction and sat beside him. Now I realized what was happening.

"Your intention was to take me here from the start," I said with a matter factly voice.

He put his leg crossed and said, "Uh huh. I was wondering if these guys ask you, perhaps you won't listen. But, Rei was different and so I thought you'll come here, and now here you are~"

"What do you want from me?" with my eyes were glaring at him.

Crazy Kei stood up and walks to my direction, "I want you to work with me. I heard you an excellent soldier, your martial arts must be great, It'll be good for me if I have you on my side."

I scoffed and said with a stern voice, "So you meant, you want me to be your dog bodyguard? But, sorry, I'm a soldier and not a servant. You can ask someone else for your help."

When I tried to walk out of the room, Crazy Kei suddenly said, "Are you sure you want to walk out of this room? Don't you have a secret that you want to keep? I wonder if the school know about your true self~ You'll get drop out of school, y'know? And they'll move you to a special lab because you are a special mental case student, you know how this school is much darker than you think, right? Ckckck, your father may be disappointed with you."

I halted my foot and held my hurtful head, a bead of sweat came out surface on my face.

Hanzo heard Crazy Kei's word and he was trying to take over the body!

I said to Crazy Kei, "You check my background, huh. Do you think you can trick me? Aghh..."

Tiiiiiiiiiiiiig------

A noise came from my ear, it was a sign that in a second, Hanzo will take over the body soon.

He chuckled, "Whatever do you mean? Smart people quickly notice the difference about you, don't your friend also the same?"

'Is he talking about Stevan?' I thought.

"Besides that's not a secret you know. Although you tried your best to hide it, it makes it more obvious. Well, only for people who pay attention to you though. A lot of people tried to avoid you and divert their gaze to you because your scary expression, no surprise until now they didn't gossip about your second personality." he said while shrugging.

"Hanzo....stop!" I screamed while holding my head.

Then he threw a bomb at me with his words, "I wonder again if I TELL this to your FATHER."

"Stop!!!" (Hanzo)

It finished. Hello, black space!

Hanzo cried and whine, "Don't tell my dad, I'll tell him my self! I'll do what you want!"

I was locked up inside, sighing. Hanzo was the one who controls the body. I saw him crying in front of them and I facepalm my face. Hanzo, what are you doing?

"...." (everyone)

At first, they were stunned, they thought 'is this his other personality?', in the end, Crazy Kei was the one who broke the ice. He asked, "So, you are Hanzo, huh? You are the other personality?"

Hanzo shakes his head like a kid, "No, I'm the original. He(Han) is the other."

"..." (everyone)

The sudden stern voice to a child's voice was too shocking for them! Don't ask me, all the time I felt the same too!

"So, what do you want from me? Do this related to something bad? If it is, I don't want it!" (Hanzo)

"Don't worry is not that bad," Rei Ishii assured him.

Hanzo ponders for a while, while I was trying to coax him to not listening to them. They were just trying to take advantage of you! And so on and so on and so on to persuade him.

But, it didn't work! It. Didn't. Work!

He ignored me and said to them, "Alright, I trust you. If you lie to me, I'll make you regret it!"

'Damn!! Hanzo!!' I shouted angrily inside.

Rei Ishii and Crazy were all smiled and nodded to each other. Rei Ishii took out pictures from his pocket. He places it on the rusty table and said to Hanzo. "We want you to defeat these people, he was the southern and western region leader. It makes me annoyed when they dominate the area. Didn't they know that, I, the eastern leader who takes control? Now, If you can prove me by defeating these guys. We'll grant your wish."

I heard his explanation and couldn't help to frown. They were a gangster? I scoffed.

'Sh*t Hanzo what did you sign up to?!!' I thought.

When Hanzo heard that, he was not sure if he could win. But, he learned and practices Judo while watching me did the work. So, it should not be a problem, right?

He didn't want to do this. But these guys threaten him if he didn't listen to what they say, his father will know about Hanzo's double personality. He became mental. It wasn't good for your father to know about his son sickness when he already put in trust on him too much.

He didn't want to see his father reaction! Hanzo was simply afraid.

I was inside, sitting and couldn't go out. It looks like he had a big determination this time. Because a strong force that blocks me to get out. But, I was still there.

At the same time, I was wondering, can he just confessed everything to father and everything will be finished? But, it wasn't as simple as I thought it was. One reason, I as Han will be gone. The second reason, we didn't know if the father will accept him and lead him to make other personality besides me.

Hanzo said, "My wish? Are you sure?"

They nodded and answered, "Anything."

Hanzo looked at them with his unusual serious face, "Then, I'll carry your order. But, one more question. Why it must be me?"

Crazy Kei and Rei Ishii looked at Hanzo, blinking and smiled together. They face Hanzo and said at the same time, "Your face is intimidating!"

"..." (Hanzo)

"..." (Han)

'They still want to talk about the scary face, didn't they? Please! I make that face was like natural things to me, I didn't even know why I did that!' I said to myself inwardly.

Hanzo accepts the ridiculous reason and became their 'dog to bite people'.

Inside, I was facepalming all the time.

...

As days pass by, Hanzo had been fighting gang or thug people because of the order of Crazy Kei. I still couldn't go out but I was still there. I watched him from inside, looking at him fighting. He was surprisingly a good fighter than I thought.

Maybe because the subconscious body or this time he had a wish which was to become better and erase me from existence! I scoffed from his persisting.

I know how he thought and I could feel his frustration from inside.

When he fought a lot and went home with a lot of bruises and scars, my father looked at him with a frown face, Hanzo quickly diverts his gaze and told him his reason, that he fell somewhere and it hit his face. But it kept happening every day! Like the old man could believe his lie again!

He investigated what happened to Hanzo and he was really angry when Hanzo got involved with a gangster!

One day he called him to the living room with a dark face. He scolds him to not playing with gangster and slaps him when Hanzo tried to talk back. He had a reason! But, it was the expression his father showed that made him stopped and stunned. In the next moment, he ran away from home and stay with Crazy Kei and the gang.

He ran and hide in their secret base. He didn't know since when he develops a little trust with Crazy Kei and Rei Ishii. He asked them wonderingly, "Hey, how can you be better?"

Rei Ishii put his cigarette to his side, he asked back "In what case?"

"To be a normal person again."

Crazy Kei who lay down on the sofa, sleeping, suddenly open his voice and asked. "Is that your wish?"

Hanzo nodded slowly. Kei ponders for a while and said with a teasing voice, "Easy, maybe you just need to accept 'him' as 'you' and 'you' as 'him', right? What's so hard about it?"

Hanzo pouted from his answer. "You didn't have a personality disorder, don't talk easily in front of me. Besides, he's not me."

"He is born from you, right? Then he is you." (Crazy Kei)

"..."

He grabs Hanzo's shoulder and said, "You may consider my words later if that's helping you."

"..."

Rei Ishii prompted their conversation and asked Hanzo, "So, do you still want to work with us again? You still can ask us any wishes again."

"No, I don't need any wishes for now, but I'll keep following you guys."

"Why?" Crazy Kei asked with an amusing face.

"Just a hunch. Perhaps I could learn something from you and become better again. He(Han) still inside me, watching every movement. I don't want him to appear anymore. I've had enough! I want to get better! I want to be myself again!"

...

In a short time, he made a countless winning strike and defeating all the boss from the region by fighting them one on one. Since then, Hanzo became known as a Crazy Kei's mad dog from the east.

But Hanzo was still not satisfied, he was still the same as before. Although he won all the time, his injuries were a lot from the punch strikes, he couldn't defend himself and got a counter strike in the end. He still got that weak minded as well.

Every time he finished the fight, he would stay on the corner of some places and started to cry again. He didn't want to do that, but he couldn't stop. He started to live like a thug with Crazy Kei and Rei Ishii.

He was frustrated of himself again, he thought by doing things he didn't like, may trigger to make him normal again or he could erase Han or should I say, me.

Inside again, I was wondering why he had that crazy thought like that?

Hanzo's mind was in the break of breaking because I want to take control of the body all the time yet he didn't let me. But then, a memory of Crazy Kei's evil deed came to his mind. Crazy Kei was true to himself. He was evil and unpredictable.

A small wished surface in his heart, he wanted to become like Crazy Kei.

He was wondering, he became like this was it because of his weak, nice, kind, naive, easy to manipulate attitude?

Was this the reason Han exist and he never got better?

If that was the reason then screw all! screw all! screw me! Hanzo laughed like a madman and he started to change again. But this time there was no other new personality, but himself, the original six-year-old Hanzo who started to change. He became mischievous and sub evil mind.

I watched his changes with a frown face.

Hanzo, you...