6 Black Mail and the Decision 2.2

I opened my eyes, all I could see was stone walls every direction I turned. The only color in the room was a vase of flowers. they were in colors of yellow, purple, and orange random assortments of types. I was alone. That was the first time in last few days that I haven't had a nightmare; I think to myself. A sharp pain jolts from the front of my right side of my head to the back. Ouch! Damn my head hurts so much. What did I hit? Wait; my memory suddenly jogged as scenes play before me. I was remembering everything that transpired. Least I think I do. I climb out of bed, was it a bad dream?

"My clothes!" Standing there I was wearing nothing, but my wrap and undergarment. My hope sink, it wasn't.

WHAT THE HELL! I shout out. I wanted to cry, tears began to swell up in my eyes. I was afraid and also mad at myself for getting caught, for being so stupid. Even more then my fear of what would happen, I felt even more angry at the state I was in. Why the hell did I have to be this naked? I was hurt in the shoulder that perverted bastard. My body began to quiver in rage. I have to leave. Looking through the one dresser I found a set of robes and slipped it on. It was really big on me, meaning they weren't mine. It was so long it bunches up at my feet, but it would have to do. Covering my head with the hood I held up the excess material of the robe so it didn't drag and trip me up, and I bolted out of the room.

"I see my robes fit you." I heard a man's voice who had been standing outside the room. Master Alastar had been waiting for me to try and leave. My heart began to race at his words, I didn't dare stop and give him a chance to capture me and turn me in. I just keep running down the hall up the spiral stone staircase, out through the front door of the chapel. Outside of the monastery I took a deep breath noticing no one was chasing me. My body was shaking. I will feel better when I can change into my other clothes so no one from monastery will recognize me. The walk to Piera a clothes store halfway between the monastery and the Dorms took 40 minutes it was growing dark out. The street lights had come on. I hated being alone at night even though there where people out on the streets I still felt alone and scared as the sun set. I felt as if I had to move faster, my feet picking up the pace until I was in full sprint through the street. I subconsciously look back repeatedly as if running from something. I didn't stop until I ran through the doors into Piera the clothes store I was trying to reach. Catching my breath inside, I walked to a fitting room at the back of the clothes store. The racks where neatly filled with beautiful floral and luxurious dresses. to skinny jeans, and assorted women's blouses. The sales ladies keep a changing room locked at all-time allowing me to hide my back pack there at times without asking questions. Though the woman was always expressing concern when I would return beat up with cuts and bruises. Trying to mother me.

"Please be there it's been three days already." I mumble as I look under the changing room door.

I was in luck as I spied the strap of my back pack dangling down from the bench. Quickly I crawl under the door and open the bag. I relax as I begin to change into my clothes. It's bad enough I revealed the spirit energy that master was afraid to let them know about, but to then be discovered that I'm a girl. I was always told if they knew I'd be hunted and killed. I can never go back again; not that there is a reason to. I tried to stop thinking about the whole incident. Why are all the girls' jeans always so tight?" I groan to myself as I stand struggling to pull my jeans on. I'm not fat, but I don't care a whole lot for these skinny jeans not like I'm trying to attract anyone anyways. Honestly do all girls really like having trouble moving just so they can show off their figure? I have to wear proper woman's clothing though so that I don't look anything like a boy, but I hate these clothes most. I'd rather be in loose jeans and a tee shirt. All right I pucker my lips as I finish putting on my makeup, hair brushed, and parted to the right. I look myself over taking out a black fedora hat with a black belt that goes around the brim of the hat and put it on. It goes well with the white cotton blouse that has princess puff frill short sleeves for the arms and the pull string that cress crosses from the upper chest to the top of the wide collar, and black skinny jeans, knee high black stylish biker boots with a three inch heel and to finish off the look the chain belt around the waist that hangs diagonally for style. Ever since I was young Master Briggs had me studying how to dress like a woman to be able to transition from one gender to the other better. All he ever brought me though is the newest hottest fashion magazines so I always dress weird I guess. He seemed to like it though and I wanted to make him happy. I always felt like a clown though but I guess it's a hard habit to break, I dress like this without trying. Taking one last look in the mirror "Okay I think it's safe to go outside now" I say as I turn and grab my stuff walking out, no one will recognize Jarret.

"Stacy there you are; I was worried; I hadn't seen you for 3 days; ever since I told you about the funeral you just disappeared. Did you get freaked out about the thought of seeing a creepy dead body or something? Jen says suddenly bouncing on my giving my her best creepy expression. "Oh my; that's a stunning outfit, you always have great taste." Jen rambles from one subject to the next not even giving time for an answer.

Jen….

"Oh; I know help me pick something out, please will you! Oh; I know you will, let's go!" She chirps merrily pulling my arm.

I couldn't help giggling that was Jen for you. Always so hyper and perky, you never get a word in edge wise.

"So, what are you doing here so late and where have you been?" Jen mumbles as she flicks through clothes and hold them up to me asking me my opinion.

"Oh well, umm, I went and visited the orphanage I was raised at. I just got back in town and was heading home when I thought I'd try on some clothes as I passed by here." I nonchalantly reply back.

I hated lying to Jen, I wanted to rip out my own tongue every time I had to lie. Living a double life one as Jarret, and one as Stacy; no one really knows who these people are and that they are one in the same. Well no one any more except Kakuya. It's so frustrating I feel my fist tighten as I think about it, but I can never let anyone to close in my life ever again. I won't let anyone enter completely I can't. I'll stay alone, all alone. I think to myself. That would be for the best. I'll leave here, yeah that's it, I can't stay anyway; I….

Thinking to myself I guess I let my feelings slip because Jen spoke with concern on her face. "Stacy what's wrong? You zoned out. Your face is as white as a ghost, and looks as if you want to cry. Is something bugging you? Is it that time of the month?" She whispered the last part.

Jen has always been straight forward, though sometimes it can be annoying when I am already frustrated.

"No! it's not that time of the month!" I couldn't help shouting.

I get upset easily, it's one of my biggest flaws. It wasn't her fault it's just that no one will never know me, and know what's going on in my head. She can never understand what I'm going through because my life has all been one big made up lie. I have been nothing but an actor playing a part in my life even getting to know who I am. I want to get mad then I look at her. I see the hurt in her eyes and on her face, she is filled with shock and pain at my attitude.

"Sorry, I'll see you later Jen. I got to go." I had to leave after that. I hated myself, it's not her fault. I could feel tears forming as I ran out of the store. Jen is probably standing there blaming herself. It's okay I tell myself. I'll leave soon anyway. Far away from this place. There's no place here for me now anyways so it's better if she hates me that way she won't be sad I'm gone. I wipe away my tears.

"Woo wee, never thought that shy little boy was such a hot-tempered person." A smooth deep voice spoke suddenly.

"Who's there and what do you want." I look out to see a man emerge from among the people walking by.

The man has flaming red hair tied back into a ponytail. His face was handsome; broad shoulders, his body toned to where his muscles where just barely visible through his ironed white button up dress shirt. He stood there in jeans that fit him well and wore black dress shoes. He looked like he was in his early twenties. Wait! What the hell was I thinking, what hell was I doing being hypnotized by his looks? He puts his hands in is jean pockets as he walked slowly closer to me swerving between the crowds of people, I couldn't move. The wind blew and the smell of wild flowers came off him.

"You know; this look suits you better little miss." He says leaning in close.

I don't know why but his words scared me I turn and ran. The sound of my footsteps on the pavement as I ran into the night. My breath so heavy I could see it in the cold night air. The sound of dogs howling grew closer to me. I don't know who that was, but he doesn't seem to be following. However, what he said shook me up calling me little miss like that, and I think before that he said something about little boy. It couldn't be him could it. It has to be a coincidence. Trying to calm down I slowed my pace trying to catch my breath. It's so dark this part of town, there is little street light here. I hate the dark. It's still so hard to breathe even though I'm walking. The echoing of dogs howling makes the night more uncomfortable. What's wrong with them that they are going crazy like this. The sudden feeling as if my heart staggered for a second causes me to fall to my knees hand clenched over my chest. What is this, I can't breathe. I felt dizzy again, I feel as if I will puke and everything starts to go dark.

"Open your eyes you idiot!" The voice from that man from earlier calls out.

Is he the one doing this? I'm scared. I feel a strong hand grabbing onto my arm and am being jerked around. Why can't I see? I hate the dark.

"I said open your eyes already, I need some help here. What's wrong with you?" The man is shouting his breath heavy and hoarse.

I could feel the person dropping me. My legs folded and my knees hit the concrete. I'm weak, I can't stand, I'm no good, and no one will come save me now. The darkness was suddenly consumed with blue and red light that took it's place. As if I was surrounded by a fire, would I die by burning to death? The howls became shrieks one after another.

"After all your training are you afraid to even open your eyes now? Jarret! Will you die by them or your own hands? Jarret!" Hearing my name called.

Master? The image of my master flashes before me I feel Master Briggs with me. That's right what am I doing? Placing my hand on the ground I felt the pebbles sticking to it I balanced myself. I opened my eye. I could feel it, the static. The pain in my heart tightened as I wobbled trying to stand straight. The creatures came for me for my anguish, well I'll show them my pain.

"Finally!" Alastar sighed in relief. "Took you long enough!" He watched her stand.

"Sorry master I will get stronger like I promised." I stepped in front of Master Briggs I would protect him mumbling as if half asleep.

Alastar stood watching as clear blue tentacles appeared around the girl, her eyes blue like the particles of the shinigami same as before. It was like her whole essence was on fire slashing at all that came near. Her spirit was filled with hate and the rage the pain are seeping out.

"GO BACK TO HELL YOU BASTARDS!" I scream out.

Laughing hysterically as the attacks came. One after another they died returning to blue dust falling to the earth. The man watched as darkness once again consumed around him and me. The flame around me fizzled out.

"Lucky for us they were only M class Shinigami, don't you agree Jarret?" Alastar spoke patting her on the shoulder.

There it was again he called my name. I longed to turn and look upon my master."Master Briggs I …." However, when I turned to speak to my mater I was thrown back into reality. It wasn't Lance, it wasn't lance Briggs it wasn't my master, my master is dead. It was the man from outside the clothes shop. My face drained of color. I'm so stupid, I knew my master is dead but still unconsciously I thought.

"Hey Jarret, life to Jarret is anyone in that brain." Alastar waved his hands in front of my face trying to get my attention. "Can you at least tell me your actual name so I can stop calling you by a boy's name?" He spoke playfully and over friendly.

"Stacy" I had replied without thinking. Realizing I had answered a stranger who seemed to know my secret or who had recognized me somehow, I ran off into the night.

I took many turns as to not go straight to the dorms in case I was followed again. I took the elevator up to the second floor and ran to my room. The dorms where nothing like the school they were more modern, but only had enough closet space for your clothes, a dresser, a desk to study, and a bed that had a red canopy over it, with red drapes to cover the window.

I started packing my belongings I need to leave tonight. Hitting my desk with my hip as I rushed by, I cry out cursing in pain as grab my side. I notice a picture that I knocked to the floor, hearing the crack as it made impact, I bend over to pick it up the glass was shattered. I pulled out the picture gently. The only family I had was dead. This picture was taken when I was still in the orphanage. He was the only one who came to play with me, the other kids were afraid of me. I'd have done anything he asked of me. I was so stupid I just wanted a father that would love me like any stupid kid. I must have seemed pathetic to him, but at least for me he smiled. That night I fell asleep with the picture held tightly to my chest, forgetting about running away.