11 Chapter Eleven: I Forgive Me

"What does that even mean?" I asked Orth. "Why do angels and gods have to be so cryptic?"

Orth laughs slightly, and I'm shocked by how melodic the sound is. The calm panda roars, yet the raging dragon laughs.

"Call it an ancient secret. The statement just means that the life energy that surrounds you is muddled with anger and confusion. If you continue on this path, you will be in a state of mind that is no better than the demons I battle daily. We will have to correct that. We will save the combat training for later, right now we must strengthen your mind."

With his announcement Orth pulls out an odd looking grape, and places it in my hand.

"What-"

"Swallow it." Orth tells me, cutting me off. "Let it help you be free."

Cautiously I eat the grape, and look at my instructor.

"Now that you've eaten the grape, just remember to abandon all humanity," he tells me with a smirk on his face. "I wish you well on your journey."

"What jour-"

Before I finished the sentence, my vision goes dark, and I feel weightless.

When I reawaken, I am in a familiar place. It's dark, and as I get my bearings I see the race cars of my childhood room. I scream, as I'm afraid of the dark, and my mom comes running.

"I don't like the dark, it's too scary." I tell her, with tears in my eyes.

"It's okay to be afraid. Fear is what drives us. It helps us to create. The fear of death, helped us to create ways to live. Modern technology, medicine, even our homes that help to protect us from storms. The lights that help keep the dark at bay. So use your fear, and use it to create." she tells me in a smooth voice. I never want to leave this moment, but was forced to by whatever is guiding me.

I then appeared in front of my mother's dying body, at the moment she whispered in my ear.

"It's okay to be afraid. Use that fear to create new life."

Then I look, and I crouch to the ground, and I'm now forced to relive Kana's death as well. As she dies before me, my anger erupts again, and I destroy everything in sight.

This scene repeats itself, so many times until I'm unable to keep count. I'm unable to contain my emotions, tears streaming my face as my heart is consumed by frustration. Again and again, my mom whispers those words, and again Kana is killed before me, until finally I'm left in a dark room alone.

"What do I have to do? What is the purpose of this?! What is there to gain?!" I cry out.

"You have nothing to gain by all of this anger," I hear. It is the voice of my father, as he appears, standing over me. "Just abandon your human emotions Daichi, and you will be able to unlock your potential. You have so much strength in you, all you have to do is let it go."

As I scream "No" I'm pulled into another vision, my father now sitting next to me on a park bench.

"Once you find the love of your life, you will do anything to protect her. To please her, you would even give up your humanity."

An image of Emiya instantly shows itself, and I refuse to abandon my heart.

As I'm pulled back to the dark room, my father finishes his statement.

"What if she died because of you. All because you could not abandon your humanity."

"I will do everything to protect her, everything but give up my humanity."

"And why is that?" He asks me in anger.

"Because, humanity is stronger than you think. As individuals they may be weak, they have too many emotions. They even complain a lot, but as a whole they are powerful. And I'm human, and that power is how I'll protect her. The power of unity."

When I finish my statement, my mother, and Kana appear next to my dad.

"I hope what you're saying is true," they say in unison, smiles on their faces.

When they're done, I'm brought back to reality, now staring at the sky's of the Holy Training Grounds. When I get to my feet, Orth stands before me.

"I'm impressed, it usually take people a month to get through that. It only took you five days" He says with a wide grin.

"You mean to tell me I was out for five days?!"

Ignoring my question, Orth asks me another question..

"Well, have you done it. Have you abandoned all humanity?" Orth inquires.

"No. I simply forgave myself for being weak."