23 You are now my habi

[Five years ago]

Nam Ji Won discovers that she is a ghost. She couldn't explain it. She is suddenly looking at her and her father's bloodied bodies. She is too shocked to move.

She sees their bodies taken to the hospital. She sees her sister, her brother, and her mother. She sees Son Jong Pil and Park Na Young come. She sees Seo Tae Il come. She sees everything. She screams at everyone to look at her.

She runs away when she hears that her father died. But, she returns. She is too shocked when she hears that she is alive. She looks at her body again to confirm. But no matter what she does, she couldn't enter her body. She couldn't wake herself up.

Nam Ji Won knows that she should be dead. It's her father who should have lived. She wants to tell her family, but nobody hears her. She is alone in her agony.

Is she paying for her sins? Perhaps.

Three years later, they move her body to a hospital in Seoul. It's hard for her siblings to look after her after they get the jobs in Seoul. Her mother sells her house and her restaurant. She also moves to Seoul. She watches everything quietly.

At first, her sister blames her. But later, she watches her cry a lot of time. Her sister is some with the hard shell, but she is really soft inside. She reads books to Nam Ji Won. She would tell her about her days at work. She would even scold her for sleeping too much. Her mother is barely holding on. Her brother abandons his dreams to study abroad and decides to become the man of the house. She watches everything changes.

"I don't like you," Her sister tells her sleeping body. "But you are my sister. I want you to fight with me instead of letting me scold you like this. I want you to fight for my clothes or my things. I want to be jealous when our mother loves you more than me. I want to beat you up when you accidentally curse or make trouble. I want to hear you call me sister again. Ji Won, I will treat you better if you wake up. Please don't go like our father. Don't follow him. Please come back. If you can hear me, please wake up."

Nam Dong Min, her older brother, often speaks to her when they are alone. "Little sister, are you not coming back because you are afraid that we will scold you? You shouldn't think about those things. It's not your fault. We won't blame you or punish you if you made any trouble. Just come back and make trouble again. It's okay if you steal my clothes or my money. It's okay if you throw the blame on me for the things you did. As long as you come back, everything is okay. It's not okay if my only younger sister goes away from us. Mother is not well. She doesn't say anything, but she cries whenever she is alone. You are the only one who can cheer her up."

No matter what she does, she couldn't enter her body and wake up. Her hands would pass through her body like she is air. She wonders if it was just a nightmare.

If it is, it is a long nightmare.

Seo Tae Il visits her regularly. Why is he coming every day? When did he find out her real identity? Does he hate her for it? He seems mad sometimes, asking her why she has been doing ridiculous things. He would softly sing to her, hoping that she would wake up and tell him that his singing was horrible. He would read to her. Sometimes, he would just speak to her about his life.

She always listens to him.

"You are now my habit," He says to her sleeping body. "I feel uneasy when I don't come to see you. I wonder when you will wake up and break my habit. It's not healthy for me."

"If you don't wake up soon, your sister will kill me."

"You promised me that you will let me carry you on my back. If you break your promise, you will go to hell."

"I can't get a girlfriend because of you." He flicks her forehead. "Your sister will kill me if I get a girlfriend now. You better wake up and explain things to her. It's better if you beat me up and send me away for deceiving your family like this. I don't mind an excuse to not see you again. If you don't stop me, I am afraid..."

"Someone is taking her sweet time." He pokes her nose. "Are you lazy, Ji Won? Should I call you Jimin? I am embarrassed for punching you or letting you carry me on your back. Are you a pervert? You kept looking at me when I was walking around half naked when we shared the room. I really believed that you were a man who liked men."

"I am sorry." He caresses her cheek. "I don't know why I come here to see you. I should stop coming. But I want you to wake up. After that, I will stop coming then."

"I wrote this song for you." He puts earphones in her ears.

"Women confess their love to me daily." He glares at her. "Why I am here? I should spend my youth with them. But I am here...spending my days with you."

"I wish you could explain why I am here." He slaps his forehead in frustration. "It's been four years. When will you wake up and explain things to me? Park Na Young told me that you like free food. I will buy you food until you die. Just wake up already."

Nam Ji Won hears all the words quietly.