14 Chapter 14: My Dear Wife

SALEM: I watched her eat. She was humming a tune I've never heard before. She seemed happy.

Which was a problem.

If a witch was happy, then it meant she has schemed something. If she has schemed something, then it meant trouble for me.

I reached for a potato. She slapped my hand. She kept eating. Non-stop. I wondered if her mouth actually led to a stomach or just a bottomless pit.

Anyways.

Whatever she has schemed, it shouldn't be anything significant. Because she can't do much in her current form.

I stood up.

Elina stopped chewing and looked up at me. Her brown eyes curious.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I'm going to talk to someone."

"The innkeeper? Order another plate of food while you're at it."

"I'm not talking to the innkeeper."

"Oh."

She looked at her plate. Then she looked at me again.

She said, "I'm still hungry."

"That's your problem."

I left the table before she could say more. Although I did feel her angry gaze on my back.

Not that it mattered. There was something else that needed to be done. Something important.

I crossed the hall and stood at the table where the two men from the Church sat. Full armor. Swords and daggers. Thick leather gloves. Combat ready.

I said, "Gentlemen, may I join you?"

One of them looked up. Green eyes with suspicion in them. I gave him my best smile. Which was a great smile. But Yulia always said it was creepy.

I said, "Traveling on this road is a lonely journey. It's a pleasant surprise to see fellow members of the Church out here."

Suspicion turned to doubt. Green eyes didn't like me. Don't know why. I guess I'll find out. But the other man gestured for me to sit down. I ordered the cheapest ale the inn had.

Green eyes said, "You work for the Church of Deliverance?"

"How rude of me, I haven't introduced myself. I am Salem. I'm not a fully fledged member like you two. I work as a contractor."

"Contractor doing what?"

"Witch hunting."

Silence. Disbelief. Doubt.

I said, "There's always some witches that need hunting."

The second man said, "That is true."

Green eyes said, "A witch hunter traveling with a witch?" He glanced back at Elina.

Huh, this green eye bastard was sharp. Maybe he's been observing me the entire time. But to guess that Elina was a witch. He's sharp. Too sharp.

I laughed and said, "Oh no, she's no witch. She is my wife."

Green Eyes raised an eyebrow. "A witch hunter traveling with his wife?"

I said, "It's a long story, but I met her during a witch hunt and..."

I dished out a story pieced together from different witch hunts, embellished with a little fantasy here and there. An evil witch. An innocent maiden. Life and death. A happy ending.

The story lasted through two pints of ale. Enough to get them drunk and merry.

Merry men tell tales. Drunk men tell the truth.

I asked, "What brings two great knights from the Church all the way out here?"

They opened their mouths. They talked.

Exactly what I wanted.

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ELINA: I watched Salem talk to the two men from the Church. All of the sudden he changed. A smile that doesn't fit him. A deferential tone in his voice.

The man with green eyes pointed at me.

"Oh no, she's no witch. She is my wife." ]

I bit my lower lip and suppressed a laugh. He said it like it was the most natural thing in the world. It seems like Salem wasn't just good at killing. He was good at lying.

A dangerous combination of skills.

He went on to tell a tall tale of how we met. He spoke as though I was the love of his life. As though the girl in his story actually existed.

Maybe she did.

Maybe I'll ask him.

The two men from the Church seemed impressed by the story. Salem asked him what they were doing there.

The two men talked, but in hushed tones. Salem listened and nodded. I couldn't hear them anymore.

Not that it mattered. I had my own ways of gathering information. I'll make my move later.

I called the innkeeper.

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SALEM: I excused myself from their table. I returned to my corner table and saw a pile of plates. Elina had a fork in her hand, cheeks bursting with food. The gransia handcuffs were poking out.

I said, "Hey."

"??"

"Who told you to order more food."

She took a pint of ale, washed down whatever was in her mouth and said, "I was hungry."

"Doesn't mean you can order whatever you want. I'm the one paying for it. You don't have any money."

"Just deduct it from your taxes as a business expense."

"Like I said earlier, that tax loophole doesn't exist."

Elina tilted her head, an innocent pout on her lips.

She said, "You are going to force your dear wife to starve? Didn't you tell those two men about how you risked your life to save me from an evil witch? And you did that because your heart wouldn't allow you to leave me? That your love was holy and pure?"

As she spoke, her pout turned into a grin.

I sighed. I sat down. I gathered the information I wanted. But at what price?

Elina put a potato before me. "Here, this is yours."

"..."

I grabbed the potato and chewed on it. The insides were filled with some kind of herb butter. It was delicious.

Elina said, "It's good, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"See? Your dear wife cares for you."

"My dear wife will drive me to bankruptcy."

"Then you can — "

"You can't write off bankruptcy as a business expense."

I finished my dinner, or rather whatever Elina hadn't eaten. Then there was another problem to solve.

How to sleep in the same room with her.