37 Cheeseburger

"Boss! I finished spreading the word" the henchmen reported

"Excellent, now to sit back and watch the show" the italian looking man said as he kept his gaze on the double doors

The sound of the doors opening could be heard as everyone turned their attention to the person stepping through. A certain crimsonette in an orange prison jumpsuit could be seen casually entering the cafeteria. A tall man with a chinstrap narrowed his eyes and stood up followed by nearly everyone else in the mess hall. The silver-eyed jumpsuit wearing shinigami didn't say anything as the mob surrounded him.

"Word is, you're in here cuz you got the hots for little tikes." The chinstrap man said as they cut off the crimsonette's path.

"And we don't take kindly to you're kind. We make an example of you types of peo- no you fuckers." he said as the mood started to get hostile

Shiro raised a brow and smirked as he chuckled "I wouldn't do that if I were you" he said nonchalantly

"Oh? And why not?" the leader of the group asked a bit more aggressively

"Cuz I got the hook-up!" Shiro exclaimed

"The hook-up?" he asked dumbly

"WATCHU GOT?!" a loud dark skinned man with dreads asked

The smirk never left the shinigami's mouth as he began to strut around the mess hall.

Everyone's eyes followed him as he said

"I got the shakes that'll make you quake." he said as he pulled a shake out of nowhere and left it with a random inmate

"I got the fries that'll cross your eyes." He now pulled out a plate of fries to set down

"I got the burger that'll take you further!" he stopped in front of the chinstrap leader while pulling out the burger to present to him.

"With cheese" he finished as the man took the burger.

He eyed the burger for a moment before taking a bite. His eyes widened and he raised the burger in the air

"IT'S GOOD!" he roared to his other inmates as they all broke out into a cheer

"YEEEAHHHH!"

"WOOOO!"

"EVERYBODY GETS ONE!" Shiro yelled as he started throwing cheeseburgers in the air

The italian man and henchmen who were watching in the back dropped their jaws dumbfounded.

∞

A lanky prisoner standing behind a table could be seen on the courtyard as he spotted the crimsonette with his group

"Hey psst, hey man" the lanky man called out as Shiro and his new friends turned their heads

"Come over here man." the man said as he waved them over

"Sup?" Shiro said questioningly as he walked over

"WATCHU GOT?" the same man with dreads asked as he also made his way over

"Okay, right off the bat! No big deal. Playing cards, boom! Okay, made in germany. You know the germans always makes good stuff alright?" the man presented as the cards clumsily fell through his hand

Shiro and the gang turned around to leave until the lanky man called out again

"Hey! Hold on a minute. Wait, let's talk cigarettes okay?" he said as he got their attention again

"Other things, you try to lightem on fire, nothing's gonna happen. Boom!" he said as he failed to light the lighter the first time. "You can't light that on fire. This, it's a cell phone. It's not gonna light!" This time he took out a cell phone out of nowhere "You take a cigarette, you light it in you're mouth and you got a buzz" he said as everyone nodded

"Okay woman." he cleared the table of everything just presented " You want woman? You don't havem? I'll tell you what you gotta do, you get yourself one of these." pulling out a magazine with an attractive woman on the front "Hooters" he flipped the page to large breasts "Cooters" The page was flipped to something censored "Tutors" The next page showed a man teaching a child "Computers." the last page showed a computer

"Computers?" A random person that joined midway asked questionably

"Okay, check this out. You guys are gonna love this!" the lanky man ignored him

"What are you in here for?" The man next to Shiro who he believed was named Johnson asked

"I hired a hooker, she bit my tongue off, I beat the shit out of her" the man quickly responded

"Okay guys, you want to get outa here? Ofcourse you do. You tried everything." he went back to his advertisement "A spoon. Not on my watch, a file, not happening. A rock hammer, in your dreams." He pulled out multiple items only to discard them the next moment

"Okay, what you gotta do is you gotta get back to the classics! Okay?" he said as he bent down to grab another item to present

"A cake, with a saw inside of it." Everyone looked at the tiny cake "Boom bam bam. Ribbit damn damn" everyone was amazed as he pulled out a large sparkling hand saw from the cake

"A hooker tried to bite you're tongue off?" the man with dreads asked

The advertiser simply ignored him "Okay let's talk drugs. PCP, cocaine, heroine." an assortment of drugs were thrown down on the table.

"Okay guys, were gonna do some real time so pay attention to me alright?" he said as he started to wrap a band around his arm "First you get this, you get the needle in there. Put it in you're big vein. Now I just jam it in, I don't pat attention to=" The band snapped off as the lanky man began to talk slower "Okay, now... my blood feels like a bubble bath and you guys look like you're made out of cotton candy and this guy's a hippo!" he said much more slowly as everyone nodded their heads at the scene infront of them

"Camera, you gettin this?" The man asked in a random direction

A man in the crowd said something to him in Spanish

The drugged up advertiser lazily looked at him and replied "Who are you talkin to?"

"Let's talk knives." His speech surprisingly picked up again "Now say you're in the shower and Mitch over here tries to **** you." he picked up a plastic knife " What are you gonna do with this plastic knife? Okay. Bendy bendy. Look at this, stop having a boring knife. Stop having a boring life." he threw away the plastic knife as the man called Mitch stood next to him. "Okay, what you gotta do is. You gotta have one of these." he pulled out a switchblade from his jumpsuit causing everyone to step back

"One flick you're in business. Okay check this out, one stab. Flesh wound." he took one stab at Mitch's chest startling him "Two stabs, dead. Okay?" Mitch was then stabbed two more times in the stomach dropping dead "Add an egg, slice of ham, a pickle, three stabs. Breakfast, I'm kidding." the ingredients were dropped onto the dead man as he listed them out

"Order in the next 20 minutes and I'll throw in this grater. It's a cheese grater, it's also a zip gun." when he finished that sentence, Shiro dodged the projectile sent towards him leaving the man behind him to die. "Oh shit" the crimsonette called out alarmed

"Now buy fast cuz you know I can't do this all day. I just killed two guys and I'm gonna get the electric chair"

∞

The Vali team were sitting around having dinner until they noticed a certain crimsonette show up.

"Where were you? We were about to look for you." Arthur asked as Shiro took a seat

"I was just picking up a new outfit" He said while presenting the orange prison jumpsuit

"Shiro, food" the goth loli spoke up as the group ate through all the food while the shinigami was locked up

The silver-eyed shinigami just deadpanned at he