45 Chapter 45: We Are Always Grateful to You.

In all of my life, I had always been called as many things.

"You Devil!"

Devil.

"Y-you are a Demon Incarnation!"

Demon.

"Inhumane!! Someone like you is not a human!"

Inhuman.

And lastly,

"You are just a monster with a human skin!!"

"Get away, you monster!"

"MONSTER!"

...Monster.

Why do they call me that way?

Why do you fear me that much?

I'm also a human just like you people!

But they can't understand.

....No.

Maybe, they DON'T want to.

No matter how passionately I persuade them, no matter how hard I act like a normal human, they never accept me as their own even once.

I was....alone.

Condemned, rejected, and stabbed.

Ah....maybe, this is my punishment.

My sin for acting selfishly.

Because I want to be selfish.

Because I was too arrogant.

Because I didn't obey my parents' order.

But all of that didn't matter. The start is just something insignificant to care about.

I was already stained, dirtied my hands, and piled thousands of bodies for my dream.

No self-justification would free my wrongdoings.

No excuses would escape from this heavy guilt.

I do this because I wanted to.

To achieve my goal.

In the end, I did succeed.

But...when I look back on my road,

All I could see are bloody paths and ghosts filled with vengeance haunting me for the rest of my life.

******

"....."

After Rein finished the transaction with Diavel, he and his guild members excused themselves without waiting. It is natural since they have lots of things to do.

But after that, he can't turn his back to Fuurinkazan and his own guild members.

There are lots of things he could say.

Are you okay?

Thank you for helping us, Fuurinkazan.

Do you need help?

But... he can't do it.

(...Is this what it meant? To be scared?)

Fear control his mind and body in every fiber.

His legs and hands are shaking.

His chewed his lips due to nervousness.

His eyes are closed but the closing lid is trembling fiercely.

"....Rein." (Kirito)

*Jolt*

(Note: In Japanese, they called it as biku.)

Kirito called his name but Rein still didn't turn his back and greet back. Instead, he only jolts out.

When he faced the three guilds, nothing stopped him from fighting against them.

When he negotiated with The Impregnable Shield, he claimed his wants boldly without stopping.

But when Kirito only called his name, he becomes scared helplessly.

He never felt this kind of emotion.

No, actually he did but the levels are far too different than the current one.

Because...

(Please...) (Rein)

He's afraid of being rejected.

"Rein." (Kirito)

For the second time, Rein slowly turns his body and faced them. But this time, he didn't greet them with a smile just like the usual.

He only stared at them silently with a pained face.

"...."

Seeing Rein who is silent, Kirito ask him slowly without fluctuation.

"What's wrong? You've begun to quiet down after Diavel left. Anything bothering you?"

During the confrontation with Kuradeel, he didn't feel this kind of emotion. Most probably, it was him preoccupied to outwit the three guilds.

But when he thinks about it now, he can't control his emotion anymore.

In his past life, he never minded what did people around think about him.

No matter what is it, 'James' was already used to it. No, to be more accurate, he never opened his heart to anybody.

What he only see to them is whether they have uses to him or not.

Of course, he himself realizes that thought is abnormal. Crazy is more fit to describe him.

That's why he has to draw the line now.

"....Kirito, aren't you scared of me?" (Rein)

"....." (Kirito)

He needs to be true to his feelings. If they reject him, then he will accept it.

He doesn't want to force their will for following him just to soothe his heart.

While seeing Kirito directly to his eyes, Rein smiles mockingly to his pathetic self.

"Just for a rare item, I killed tens of people with my hands. I also threaten them to get their belongings. ....I'm the worst, right?"

"....."

Kirito didn't respond back. He only closed his eyes after hearing that.

By blackmailing the three guilds, Rein was able to get 50% of their possessions easily. Since he already grabbed their throats, all they could do is to grudgingly give the items.

To himself, it was just one of the ordinary things he did to benefit himself.

But he's not alone anymore. What he does will affect the people around him.

The worst scum?

"Yeah, I 'did' think like that." (Kirito)

"Tch!!"

Unconsciously, Rein bit his lips after hearing that honest confession.

It hurts him very much compared to getting slashed.

It pains him deeply compared to getting tortured.

He never thought that, by having someone close to, it affects him this much just because they reject him.

"Not only this time, but I was keeping a distance from you. Both of them didn't tell you, but Asuna and Agil were the same." (Kirito)

"...Truthfully, I thought you had a screw loose. you can even act indifferently after killing somebody, you know?" (Agil)

"...Me too. I'm sorry guild master. But... I was also scared of you." (Asuna)

"I...see. No,...I guess it's natural." (Rein)

Each of them tells their honest feeling from the bottom of their heart without falsehood.

When they travel as a guild, many tribulations were coming to them without end to it. One of the problems was the murderer guild aimed to take their heads.

Of course, they repelled them successfully.

The problem was the ways.

Every time it happened, Rein always step forward to take their head mercilessly. When their lives reached the red bar, they even beg and hit their head to the ground for sparing own lives while crying.

For Kirito, Asuna, and Agil, they thought it's probably fine to let them go. Since they know the differences between them, they won't aim their lives anymore.

But Rein didn't even blink his eyes nor hesitate.

In front of their eyes, he killed them. Fortunate or unfortunate, there is no blood nor flesh flying around so it wasn't that grotesque.

However, the action itself didn't change.

"....."

"Do you remember? The first time you killed a player, you say this with a smile plainly, "If we don't kill him, then they will kill us back.". ....That's when I was scared of you. ...helplessly so." (Kirito)

"...Yeah, you are right. I am abnormal. A crazy guy.... a murderer." (Rein)

(...This is where we part ways.)

There's no more word needed to exchange. They already expressed their feelings this much to him.

How could a murderer able to be friends with a normal person?

Rein didn't condemn them nor feel disappointed at all.

This is the normal reaction. He vaguely realized it will happen someday. No, he should be prepared for it from the start.

That he will never be understood nor be accepted as his true self.

.....Even so,

".....*sigh*." (Rein)

(What am I hoping...)

He wishes they could accept him, just like Athena.

In the past, he never got emotional until this much. No matter what people said to him in the back, he could still face them with a fake smile.

He always did it, because he never had hope in the first place.

After all, the more expectations a person has, the more disappointing will be when it won't be granted.

That's why Rein who has experienced it too many times give up easily.

NORMALLY, it is supposed to be that way.

"Listen to a person's saying until the end, you idiot." (Kirito)

"...Huh?" (Rein)

What did Kirito and the other say to Rein at all times?

They 'were' afraid of him. They 'kept' distance to him.

All of them have two common factors. One, it's fear toward Rein.

Second,

(....it's in past sentence?)

Realizing it, he immediately raises his head to face them. What he sees is not expressions of rejection, but only smile warmly to him.

Seeing him like this, Kirito could only shake his head with a bitter smile.

"Geez, that's your bad habit you know? You always try to understand things quickly, even though it's wrong." (Kirito)

"....."

"If you are just a cold-blooded murderer who takes people's lives for whim only, all of us would leave you a long time ago." (Kirito)

"....But I---"

"You did kill tens of people with your hand. But, it's not like you 'want' to do it right?"

Continuing Kirito, this time Asuna steps to the front while grabbing one of Rein's hand.

"....Asuna?" (Rein)

"Guild master.....No, Rein. No matter how dire the situation is, you always stay at our side. You never leave us even once. ....Moreover, you did it, because it's for us, right?" (Asuna)

".....That's--"

Before Rein could continue his word, Asuna strengthens her grip while staring him directly with strong-willed eyes.

She never met Rein in real life so, she can't say much for that. However, in this world, he pushed her back when she needed it the most. Even if this world is a death game, he gave her the way to enjoy it.

He didn't have the obligation to do that. No, with his strength, he could do fine in front line alone.

But he didn't do so.

"Because you care for us. You don't want us to suffer in any way. Am I wrong?"

"That's how it is."

"Agil..." (Rein)

Just like Asuna, Agil also steps up to the front while putting one of his hand on Rein's shoulder. Although his hand is heavy, it makes the receiver feels warm on the heart in this cold weather.

"The item that you took from them, it's not like you'll monopolize it all. That deal just now, it was for the overall players, not for you only. Also, you want to sell the rest of it on my shop at a reasonable price, right?" (Agil)

"...I really can't hide from you."

A Hero is truly a cheat like a figure. Rein can also be considered a hero too, considering his high spec. But in most stories, they will always be accompanied by their close ones. Even if they could charge alone to defeat the evil, that path will be a thorny and long one for a lone individual.

Just like what Rein said to Diavel, this world is never meant for one player only.

WIth the items obtained from the top three clearing guilds, he plans to sell it on a low price for the mid-level players to raise their power quickly. Ultimately, more players will be added to the front line.

In other words, he's like a Robin Hood who steals from the rich for the poor.

Will that kind of guy be a selfish tyrant who does bloodbath on every possible occasion?

The answer is obviously no.

In fact, Rein will take the losing end in this kind of scenario.

That is why three of them could accept Rein.

Because he is a guy who never stoops from the strong and cares for the weak.

"Is it enough to convince you now?" (Kirito)

"...Are you all fine with me? In the future, I will still do this if it's necessary. You all will be bad-mouthed in the back." (Rein)

"Hah, then they are really just a coward who doesn't even have a shred of pride."

"Even if there is one, I will stab them without mercy!!" (Asuna)

"Ahahaha!! We, the Familia Myth are the strongest guild!! Nothing could stop our path!" (Agil)

Each of them answers according to their personality, but every one of them didn't cower from the upcoming difficulties.

"....Haha, how reliable."

(Yeah, I really should look properly.)

Before, he always saw them as people to protect. That is his role as their guild master, he thought.

How wrong he is. How arrogant he is.

(They are all people who could stand on their own.)

Rein truly realizes how blind he is. Just because nobody accepted him, that doesn't mean every single person he meets will do so.

"Thank you, everyone. Please take care of me in the future too."

Responding that, the trio look to each other.

Then, at the same timing, they answer his question from the bottom of their heart.

" " "SAME HERE!!" " " (Everybody)

This is just the one page out of many.

Their stories still have a long way to go for the ending.