20 Conveyed Love

The light was gone.

She thought she had gotten a firm grasp of it for once in her life.

But she was wrong, so wrong.

Daiyu looked up at the room sobbing painfully. Everything was blurry and dark. Her tears streamed down her face uncontrollably and blocked her view. Her mystical and beautiful eyes became the most horrifying under her suffering. They looked pitiful yet frightening. They were full of emotions hard to comprehend.

Desperateness.

Loneliness.

Anger.

Hate.

Madness.

It was taking over the little bit of sanity she had left. Her head was aching but it wasn't as bad as what her small heart was feeling. The madness was destroying her mind, and the uncontrollable emotions were tearing her heart apart.

Her body became numb as her world disappeared.

She felt tired.

However, she didn't regret it. It might have led to more pain and anger and suffering but the moments she had with them were precious. They were a faraway dream, a paradise. She couldn't let it go but she couldn't control the emotions that had overcome her.

It was only natural for it to all end but she was actually hoping, loving, and for once actually wanting more. It only made it all the more painful and hard to let go.

The more she remembered the harder it was to let go and the more she fell into her sadness.

Maybe it was time to face reality.

She would never be wanted.

She would never be loved.

She would never be happy.

She would never be free from the clutches of darkness.

Slowly her body began to emit dark aura. Her lifeless eyes seemed resigned.

It was painful for any father to witness such problem much less a father as protective as Fan Ying.

Seeing her in such a state made him feel as if he was on the brink to madness. He wanted to rush to her side and comfort her or scream her name to tell her they were there with her to let her know that she wasn't alone but his body was frozen stiff. He couldn't move. His eyes widened in shock and he panicked once dark aura radiated from her body.

[Cari… Darkness…. Why is it after her? I NEED TO SAVE HER!]

Fan Ying pushed and used all his strength but even after circulating his Qi he couldn't move a step forward. The force holding him in place gave him cuts and pushed him backwards.

He felt helpless seeing his daughter in suffering while being consumed by the Cari. What kind of father was he if he couldn't even help her when she was right in front of him.

No matter how much he pushed and ran toward her he couldn't overcome the invisible barrier in his way. He rammed his body into it over and over again. Cuts and bruises filled his body but he still kept going. His eyes began to burn with helplessness as tears slowly fell down his face. He turned to see his wife with a blank look.

Fan Ying ran to her in desperation. He shook her body to bring her out of her daze.

"Yenay! YENAY! WAKE UP! WE NEED TO SAVE HER!

YENAY! YENAY!"

Slowly Nuwa Yenay regained her composure and looked at her husband in panic and worry. His face was a bloody mess covered in tears. She looked over her shoulder and saw the Cari around her daughter becoming more pronounced. It frightened her.

"YENAY! SING FOR HER! Please sing for her… please!"

His arms trembled. He had never felt so useless in his life like that day.

To save his daughter his only hope was to hope she listens to his wife's song. He could only hope she could hear the love they had for her.

"Show her how much we love her."

Her cried and hugged his wife.

Nuwa Yenay slowly overcame her own panic. She was the wife of the general. She needed to be strong for him when he needed her to be. She needed to be strong for their daughter.

As she shakily walked towards the barrier, her shaky voice sang out in hopelessness. She needed to be strong. She needed to convey her feeling with a song but it had to be more special than a regular night song. She needed to sing to give out more.

Fan Daiyu was submerged in her grief but her heart couldn't ignore a pressing feeling of anxiousness and foreboding. She couldn't help but look up to see her father ramming towards her.

He was covered in blood but that didn't matter. They were here.

However as she looked back she saw him turn his back on her.

[He… gave up.]

Her dim eyes showed disappointment and sadness.

[I will die today. My soul is being eaten away by this darkness. Soon I will no longer be myself.]

She mocked herself for her own stupidity.

[This is probably the best outcome. After being consumed, I will be a puppet. I will no longer have to suffer through this.]

She closed her eyes and waited for her end. Her peace. Her Nirvana. It sounded like nirvana. A paradise were she wouldn't feel anything. Emptiness.

[I should have done this long ago. It doesn't sound bad. Emptiness. Nothing. Silence.

It sounds like paradise right now.]

She awaited her ending.

Until.

~Baby can't you see how much I'm loving you.

It's painful knowing a can see you. It painful knowing I can't feel you.

You're her with me but not with me. You're here with me but without me

It's knowing I can't feel you. It's the knowledge that causes the pain.

Knowing that you can't see me. Knowing that you can't feel me

Can't you feel the love that I have here?

Let your sorrows fall with me. Ill carry them for you through a desert.

Your burdens will be mine. Run around and be free.

This is my love for you. My tears for you.

Don't' you dare cry. Don't you shed a tear of pain.

Every time you do, it feels like death.

So please let your pain fall on me.

I love you. I cherish you.

So don't you run away. Don't fall again.

That sadness in your heart. Let it go. Let it go for me.

Every time I see you in your grief. It makes me feel tortured to death.

Please let it go. Please let me hold you close.

My small treasure my small jewel.

I'm here for you so let it go. I'm here for you so hold me close.

I'm scared to lose you I'm scared to death so let me hold you

Let me love you.~

As she sang shakily, she walked towards her daughter. She cried as she sang and tried her best to convey all her worry and love for her daughter.

That small voice entered Fan Daiyu's ears. It seemed so far away.

But it was familiar and warm.

She wanted to reach out for it.

She heard it crying.

[Don't cry. Don't cry. I should be crying not you.]

She opened her eyes to see the owner of that voice.

"M-mama…"

She softly cried out to that beautiful person singing and crying her heart out.

The lyrics of that song broke her heart.

[Mama I can feel your love.

Mama I can see you.

Mama I want you to hold me.

Mama I want to let go but it's so hard.

Mama I don't want to give you such a heavy burden.

Mama will you still love me after seeing such a burden.

Mama letting go is so hard.

I'm trying my hardest but I still feel lonely. I feel hopeless. I feel pain.

I want to desperately hope that everything you are saying is trustworthy but I still panic at the thought of you leaving me.

Mama I want to try but I feel so broken.

It's suffocating.]

She cried and each tear pushed the dark aura away.

Her tears slowly released all her emotions and pushed away all the pain and anger that had appeared.

She stood up and ran towards her mother but fell on her way there.

Seeing his precious child falling, Fan Ying flew to her side and caught her.

Despite the pain in his body, he carried her and laid her in their bed.

The couple sat at her sides and checked her body for injuries.

They both felt their hatred for the 'perpetrator' intensify.

[I will crush his bones.]

Fan Ying ran out in a rage and punched a wall so that he wouldn't frighten his little princess.

[Tomorrow we will go see the emperor.

Tomorrow that bastard will pay for hurting her and making her feel so insecure.]

Nuwa Yenay was still in shock and fear seeing her daughter being consumed by Cari.

She hugged Daiyu and cried.

"Baby you frightened me so much. Don't do that again. I felt so scared and helpless. If you don't see us we might be elsewhere. Don't panic unless we don't come back the next day. Please. We love you so much. We will never leave you unless someone separates us by force from you."

Fan Ying stared into the room at the mother- daughter pair crying in each other's arms.

Fan Daiyu cried to sleep and released all her worries. She prayed for this dream to survive for as long as she could.

She went to sleep and met Ercan in her strange dantian. It was different from normal ones from what she read in her father's books but that mattered little to her.

She entered and was greeted with a panicked small little dragon. He had red puffy eyes.

{That was so painful! What happened!? I felt all your pain. This connection has many shortcomings.}

He looked at her full of worry and hugged her.

{I'm with you. I will stay with you. Remember that.}

[I had forgotten. I'm sorry.]

She felt some security at their bond. She wouldn't be left alone in this world at least not by Ercan.

She trusted her parents but she felt insecure unlike when she was with her small dragon.

She put aside her worries and smiled at the thought of having at least someone by her side.

[Thank you.]

Ercan smiled and they kept each other company for sometime before she left and awaited the next day.

It was time to start cultivating.

She needed to grow strong to fight away all her insecurities.