19 So Do I

Jiao Yu didn't mean any ill words or intention to anyone who loves cross-dressing or if they have different gender orientation, it's just that, she wanted to know how can one develop such changes in terms of what one should like? Fan Zi Yi was considered pretty and if he turned back to being a 'man', she's sure that many hearts would be held captive yet, it seems that Fan Zi Yi has different taste.

She first found out that Fan Zi Yi was a man two years ago and was ultimately shocked by it but decided to not be bothered with it.

She somehow could not laugh or cry as she did not why, the people who gathered around her was definitely different yet the same with Jiao Yu.

Unlike Qing Yue who both liked male and female alike which he can put good use towards his missions and can pretend as both genders, he, however is still a man as Qing Yue strongly stated it to her before. Fan Zi Yi only liked males and dreamed of having a male partner which was considered as a deplorable thing in the entire Zhou. However, Fan Zi Yi's character was never something to abhor nor was his identity or existence, for Jiao Yu, he would always be the only male that was like a real 'female'.

"What are you staring at me for?" Fan Zi Yi saw that Jiao Yu's eyes did not leaver her. She thought she had something on her face and started to touch her face, detecting anything amiss.

"It's nothing, just find that your dress is simply beautiful." Jiao Yu's eyes trailed to her hands.

Ordinary females would love to hear others flattering them, and no matter how much frustration Fan Zi Yi has, she was unable to be angry with Jiao Yu's words. "Of course. This is the pattern that my Mother had gotten people to get for me."

Jiao Yu's eyes hang down and she sighed in her heart. Though, it can considered as an insane ride towards Fan Zi Yi's situation, it can not be compared to her parents who hid the truth and let their son be their daughter instead. Let it be. It's not her business and she's got more things on her plate.

The two of them hanged out inside Jiao Yu's courtyard and Fan Zi Yi had not left since, she had been talking about the beautiful and possible male partners that he wanted for so long yet, during the conversation they had, Fan Zi Yi's eyes was slightly coated with sadness.

"It must be really good to be born as a female." Fan Zi Yi said.

Jiao Yu did not reply and only listened, "You can do anything you want without thinking of somebody finding something wrong to your existence and once married, one will always experience the pleasure of life."

'So do I, So do I.' Jiao Yu thought.

"There's nothing really wrong to your existence though." Jiao Yu did not bother with what she was thinking earlier and said, "Does what others say to you really matter?"

Fan Zi Yi shook her head and said, "It's not that it mattered to me but, what if one was to get married and fall in love with the husband, only to be deplore and disgusted after knowing the truth?"

Jiao Yu fell silent momentarily. She thought that it really is difficult for them to live how they want, "Not everyone is as you think they are, there might be people who can accept you just like your parents."

Fan Zi Yi laughed helplessly and said, "My parents are crazy and never thought of it further to even think of this."

The parents of Fan Zi Yi had reasons why they accepted her state even though the idea was something they were ashamed to do. It was only because with the pretty face Fan Zi Yi had, it was possible that she would get a desirable offer, which means, bigger dowry and opportunities for them.

"And no. Not everyone is like you."

It was not impossible that during the course of time, Fan Zi Yi would be receiving marriage offers as she's already at the marriageable age, which made her think of this. However, her parents did not put any mind to it and did things as if there's nothing wrong with it and they might accept one of the offers when it stands out.

Jiao Yu felt uneasy with what Fan Zi Yi had just said because it sounds as if one was only talking about the matter of Fan Zi Yi being accepted by Jiao Yu wholeheartedly but it made Jiao Yu thought of her differences to everyone else.

Fan Zi Yi left after staying a few more hours and went back to the Fan residence. She had been feeling down at this moment whenever she would think of what may happen in the future. And somewhat happy to know that in this world, there's one person who can accept and welcome his existence.

In Jiao Yu's room, Jiao Yu was still sitting on her couch and crazily thought that if Fan Zi Yi and Qing Yue meet with each other, they'll probably a perfect match.

"Young lady... Mui Gu's here to attend to young lady." Without waiting for Jiao Yu's reply, Mui Gu entered the room.

Mui Gu was one of her maid and unlike her status as a servant, she had an arrogant personality and looks down on people. Jiao Yu could still remember what she said outside the screen of her room, which was really brave for a maid.

The young maid clad in orange maid uniform was standing across her and had not moved since she had entered. Jiao Yu leisurely rested her chin on her palm as she flip the page on her book, not even looking at Mui Gu's direction.

The way Jiao Yu acted towards her made Mui Gu to be seething in anger and irritation as this young lady sitting across had just treated her like a fly, not even worth her attention. The three Household in Liu residence has looked at her with respect even for a little bit because she was once a daughter of an official and sold to the Ministry of Household management and ended up being a servant in the Liu residence. However, she was not here to show her irritation and rage to the young lady but in an entire different matter.

Before she came here, the second household's furen Hui Shi had called her, telling her that she would receive enough money for her to spend in two years if she succeeded in harming the First household's young miss. Though, she was not given specific orders on how to harm someone, she at least knew that it was meant that Mui Gu can do any method she likes to implicate Jiao Yu.

"Young lady, the night is not early, young lady must take good care of her body and sleep early." Mui Gu said.

Mui Gu expected Jiao Yu to say that she was not sleepy and will do some more reading again, like how she always does. However, today was different as she heard her saying, "En."

The fire in the oil lamp was extinguished and the room was dark with only the moonlight served as the lighting inside the room. Jiao Yu headed towards her bed to sleep and slowly fell deep in her slumber.

After an hour and seeing that Jiao Yu was already sleeping deeply, Mui Gu started to rummage from the inside of her clothes and took out a wrapped cushion size like pouch. The pouch was small and unnoticeable however, the smell was unbearable and unsightly to smell.

Mui Gu opened the small pouch and poured its content to the air while she swiftly went outside to not be affected with the effects of the contents of the pouch. She used up all her savings for this pouch that was made to make a person's face swell and redden for a bit of time when it was inhaled.